My girlfriend is mean. - 23 (Mpls)

Hey i posted yesterday saying that my girlfriend treats me like shit and i want to meet some one new. I havnt gotten alot of response but a few and havnt really clicked with anyone yet. So if you wanna know more about me send me an email. Im 23, have a car, job, and home. Blonde hair blue eyes, 160lbs 5'10 i do have pics.

women please read before responding - 29 (ERIE)

Hello, my name is Rico.I am from New Jersey. I am 29 years old single no kids. I am a model/Actor. Yes, i do that fulltime sotherefore that is my profession. I know all of you women may say "what in the world is he doing on criaglist". That is a very good question. I have no clue. I am sitting here on a sunny afternoon in my house just chilling. I am a layback kinda of guy. I like to play bingo, bowling, watch a t.v.; lockout extended stay, saop operas, watch sports, laugh etc.. I enjoy working out and just taking care of my body. Our bodies our very precious and what you put in them is what you are going to get out of them. No it isn't easy nor cheap to keep your body up to par but well... that is another subject. What i look for is very simple, a mature woman wether she is younger than me or older just a mature woman that knows what she wants. A woman that is not up for the games and not a woman that is trying to think that she is very clever because it wont work-out to well. Just looking for a woman that desires to be treated like a woman. I been on criaglist for approximately 1 month and i have not found a woman that is ready to actually settle down they say they are but when they meet me there like ummmh!!! like this isn't legit. Something gotta be wrong with this guy he can't be this good to me. Yes, i been on 3 dates and let's say that i will leave those lines blank but i assure you that if you ask any of them about me they will say he is forreal. He is the same man that is on craiglist they will say. "Yes" he is. So the question is why am i still single and what i am still doing on criaglist! Well, i am still on criaglist because there is still a void. I believe that everything is a process. Nothing happens overnight you have to be patient and understanding. which is cool. but please do not say to me Rico, I read your ad and i was feeling it than after that you start playing the mind games because i am not with it. Trust me on that. I will tell you thanks but no thanks. I am not trying to make this a competition nor nothing like that. I always say that i rather take a girl who works at a mcdonalds and take the bus and train everywhere. than a great that works on wallstreet and drives a benz or rangerover. I am not materialistic just want somebody who will respect me and cherish me as i am somebody. Looks yes is a plus but for me not the whole package.I am down to earth!!! My goals and determinations. Let's say that i will be in paramount one day and you will be seeing me on the big screens saying mann, i had an opporutnity to be with that Guy but.... very very soon!!! I will not give up. the devil has been trying to discourage me and break me down but i wont give in nor give up. I came to far to do that. Yes, i date women with kids etc.. but no drama. No stress. Race is not important. nope not at all. just as long as you cherish me and treat me like i am somebody. p.s. Please send a fullbody pic or i will not respond to your email quevolahabana2005 at yahoo dot com Sincerely: Rico


Judging by the pictures he posted, I would guess that he is neither a model nor an actor. Also, I'm not clear on what a "great" is. Apparently they work on Wall Street, and they prefer to own cars like Rangerovers or a Mercedes Benz. If you have any information concerning the definition of a "great," please let me know. I would appreciate any/all insights.

a perfect pet - 33

hello im cool white dude small bulit sorry small over brown hair blue eyes , crooked teath , and very poor, but im house broken and wiil give you all ican , to make you happy , im ready today to move in it only takes less than a hun dred a weak to suport , me i want bark or neither , bite

He should get together with the 45-year-old looking for live-in adult companionship.

GRADUATE STUDENTS...Nice Rooms and Salary (Highland/LSU)

I am an attractive, fit, professional man, 45 years old, with an MS degree, and I love the company of attractive, intelligent, but mature younger women.

I am looking for one or two graduate students who would enjoy having two furnished rooms in my home, walking distance to classes at LSU, along with a modest salary to help with your expenses.

In exchange, I would expect a bit of light house keeping, and some occasional adult companionship.

Serious inquiries only please! Requests for pics, or other personal information will not be answered.

After an initial e-mail exchange, I will want to meet for coffee at a place of your choice near LSU, so we can exchange some ID and chat, and then we can arrange for you to see the house and the rooms.

two girls short of a threesome - 26 (Baton Rouge)

like i said, i'm two girls short of a threesome. hit me up if you're interested. a twosome would be nice too, actually

Sex can wait. Masturbate.

GIRLS , DO YOU WANT NEW BOOBS? (SLC )

I WENT TO A CHARITY AUCTION AND BOUGHT A $5000.00 GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR PLASTIC SURGERY. TELL ME WHY I SHOULD GIVE IT TO YOU AND WHAT SIZE YOU ARE NOW WHAT SIZE DO YOU WANT TO BE? ( HAVE TO HAVE SURGERY IN JAN IT IS THIER SLOW SEASON )



The way to a woman's heart isn't jewelry, it's boobs. Particularly the new kind.

Everybody wants a box of chocolates and a long-stemmed rose... - 42 (Boise)

... And a PEZ dispenser full of cherry flavored Thorazine couldn't hurt, either.

Holy Crap! This online dating thing has been quite the experience; not unlike a wild ride on the Bunny Boiler Express. Yes, I've met some interesting people. Most have been very nice. Sadly, not too many sparks. Unless you count those that detonated my car shortly after I cranked on the ignition. Never fear. I am, obviously, recovering nicely. I've always known that I had an effect on people. I just didn't know it included being burned in effigy, spiking holiday sales of voodoo dolls with my likeness, being slapped by the soles of so many shoes that I'm developing a couple of bizarre fetishes, and inducing mental health crisis in my poor victims.

Alas, all is not lost. These experiences have only strengthened my resolve. Sure, it makes finding that one-in-a-million, special someone a tad more difficult. But, I know she's out there. Perhaps, waiting her release from Orofino or her discharge from State Hospital South. Nonetheless, she is out there. With the soft skin of angel, the breath of the warm summer breeze, the sweet kisses of passion fruit, the personalities of Cybil, and the axe-mastery of a serial killer. Oh, where! Oh, where is my one true love?

A little about me: I am 42 years young, divorced (imagine that), with no kids, no pets, no drama, low overhead, little baggage, and an appreciation for the simple things in life. No, not a simpleton. I'm just not that complicated. I love life and really want to surround myself with positive energy (but something less than a megaton of explosives under the hood of my car). I am thin to average build (I say thin, others say average). I'm somewhere between 5' 9 and 5' 10. I have a shower. It works every now and then. I have plans to buy soap (just as soon as it comes with zero-percent financing). Even though I go mostly casual, I can usually find a clean shirt or two and sometimes they are even ironed. They go nicely with my ties; those that I'm not using to fashion a noose with. My Batman Underoos are generally fresh and clean. I've recently graduated from Huggies Pull-ups. Yes, I am a big kid, too. I am well-educated. Well, I am educated at least. I have a number of interests and have been accused of being able to carry on an intelligent conversation. The kids on the Short Bus think I'm brilliant and witty (Ok, no responses telling me how offensive that was - I am a human services professional. I give 'til it hurts, people). I am not the "outdoorsy" type. I don't hunt, fish, and keep camping to a minimum. I like sports enough to track the BSU Broncos and occasionally see how awful the Raiders are doing or how awesome the Celtics are doing. Other than that, I could really care less. I do like going to the Steelheads games. They're pretty fun. I am not a connoisseur but I do like finely crafted beverages. I don't drink in excess because, frankly, I couldn't afford to given my tastes. I am disease and drug free although there have been moments in the recent past where an injection of anthrax-laced heroin didn't sound all that bad (followed, of course, by a cyanide chaser). I like to think I have a sense of humor. There are those that think otherwise. People often tell me that I look younger than I am (I've been tree-ring dated into my early thirties). Some find me attractive, others mention that I should really look into joining the circus. Apparently, they're in need of a bearded lady (I'm not sure how to take that, really). But this is all a matter of perspective. If nothing else, I can type ok. Oh, and I do have the requisite job, car, and place of my own. I even cut and chew my own food (BONUS!).

What am I looking for? Good question. Short of a miracle, I am interested in meeting women between the ages of 30 and 40 who are mentally, emotionally, and physically fairly fit (Ok, so I would settle for a half-crazed, slightly rotund, chronically unemployed, but kind-of-hot looking midget: but hey, this is "ideally" speaking, right? Again, no need to respond and tell me how awful that last comment was; I give 'til it hurts, remember?). I didn't use to think of myself as picky or shallow but "the times, they are a changin'." If you're in therapy or taking meds to treat a DSM-IV diagnosis, although I feel for you, I'm not ready to go there just yet. I'm not physically attracted to larger (aka BB) women. I want to experience the crush of a woman against me, not being crushed to death by the woman on top of me (Ouch! Again, no need to email me on that one, either). BBW are wonderful people, I'm just not attracted to them physically. Although personality, charm, and a great sense of humor are the most important, please have only one personality at a time. The male fantasy of being with more than one woman actually involves more than one woman. Split personas are such a buzz kill. My dream girl would be down-to-earth, easy-going, friendly, upbeat, and able to laugh (not only at me, but with me as well). She would be playful, creative, with a sensual, sexy side. She would have a knockout smile and be accepting of a "guy's-kind-of-guy." She would understand that dating shouldn't make you a.) actively suicidal, b.) fearful of your life to the point you're considering entering the witness protection program, c.) miss your ex-partner or ex-spouse even more than you did before, or d.) all of the above. She would be liberal and tolerant of others. She would be up for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine to simply meet and say hello. She would be iron-willed, especially if she requested a photo from me. It comes with a liability waiver. If it sends you to the psych ward, I do apologize in advance. I just don't want to get stuck with the bill for your mental health care (which could be quite extensive and vastly expensive). So, if you think you might be her, drop me a line. If you include a photo of yourself, I will reply in kind (although this may be at your own peril). Who knows? Perhaps we could meet, become friends, and... well, the possibilities are endless. Until then, Happy Holidays. I hope to hear from you soon.

Note to self: when life is shit, look for a kind of hot midget with only minor psychological issues.

Jar Jar Binks looking for his Queen Amadala - 22 (Naboo)

Hiya! Me'sa called Jar Jar Binks. Me's am looking for a wonderful girl to call my own. She's a make me laugh, and she'sa have fun with me, and preferably she'sa be a nerd like me! Me'sa likes to watch movies and cuddle, go to the park and swing on the swings and then jump off to see how far I can jump off, and me's liking the Star Wars. Does you'sa smoke? Cause me'sa not for liking the smoking. It's bad. Me'sa has 3 tattoos and me'sa definitely wants more. Me'sa can sing really good too. Specially in the shower and the car. Sorry to cut this short, but me'sa really needs to go to bed. Me's am tired and me'sa gots to wake up early in the morning. So if you's is liking what me'sa has had to say, you should definitely e-mail me.

Vintage guy seeks Antique woman (gr)

Vintage guy looking for an Antique woman with Archaic children and a Prehistoric dog...Send pic of cave dwelling..


I did not have to find that picture. The future husband picked that one out on his own.

Hi, I'm Jesus - 33 (Here again!)

I enjoy long walks on water, dinner get-togethers with friends, and lazy afternoons hanging out on a cross. My friends would describe me as-- The Messiah (Those guys!). I'm back in the area after a long absense living abroad with my dad, and am not sure if I'm ready for a relationship. So friends first, OK? Then we'll see where it goes. Let she without sin shoot me the first e-mail! Ah heck, if ya have some sin, I'll forgive ya anyway! TTYL!

Descendant of King David looking for a Royal wife - 40 (Jerusalem)

A Princess, some one with the appropriate blood line's. Known or unknown. Some one kind and caring for self, and people. Some one who gives one self to God, first, looks for God's pleasure, in how her self is, (persona)and how she would think God would want to please her husband, and in everything. Must be like a High Priest's wife and be willing to be "That" if destiny so goes that way, and have the spirit, of Royal, not foney not fake, but fit-in naturally into it. To be a Princess unto "The Lord" first and then "The House of Israel" ("The House of David") and a good influence, tactful and witty for the "Press" (News People) when one is approached. Please email me, "Davidson"

He provided two pictures, one with a black tee-shirt and one shirtless. He resembled an ugly version of Michael Moore and that is being generous.

cowboyhardware3 - 24 (parma/albion)

howdy there i just got out of a relationship where i wasn't appreciated for what i did and what not, but i'm a big time country boy but my life is a cowboy. i own horses and i am looking for a country girl to have fun with i like to party and just hang out with friends at the bar in parma. i love to hunt and fish as well as ride my crotch rocket when i can so if ya interested send me a message


When I read 'ride my crotch rocket,' I might have loled a little bit...I'm pretty sure that puts me on par intellectually with 12-year-old boys.
Also of note: how does one ride one's own crotch rocket?

Tantra master seeking new year eves partner - 50 (Kalamazoo)

Tantra/Kama sutra master, seeks new years eve partner. Join me in an erotic sensual adventure to end the year. I am a good looking, intelligent man. Your picture will get mine. Do not bother to send me letters with links, they will be deleted.

looking for a funny girl with big boobs... - 26 (denham springs)

just looking for someone nice to be able to enjoy time spent together....

Lauren, I think this one was made for you.

HELLO - 35

HI, I'M 35 AND SINGLE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO GET TO KNOW AND DO THINGS WITH. I BEEN SINGLE FOR ABOUT 4 YEARS AND LOOKING TO GET BACK INTO DATING AGAIN. I'M EASY GOING AND LOVE TO TRAVEL AND I ALSO LOVE THE OUTDOORS. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE FELL FREE TO ASK. THANKS Someone's been getting their blogging tips from Kanye.

The poet - m4w - 24 (Covington)

Young writer with severe social anxiety. Just a tad lonley and looking for someone to hang out with.

From the pictures he posted, I'm tempted to say this lonely, lonely poet is too good to be posting craigslist ads. On the other hand, this ad is a little on the sad, desperate side, no?

Married, but still looking... - 50 (BR, NO, NS)

You've been married for a long time to someone that you still care about, but the romance and lovemaking no longer exist and your efforts at bringing it back have not worked.

You basically have a separate life from your spouse.
Your children no longer need you like they used to.
You want to have a life again after years of just giving to everyone else.
You look at life's clock and realize that you had better make the most of the time that you have left.

You want to find a new purpose for your life and perhaps experience love again, but you don't want to hurt your family.

This is where I find myself.

What am I looking for? Romance, perhaps intimacy, perhaps long term, I don't really know.

I have posted this before. I am still looking. The few that I have contacted me have been mostly sweet, but for different reasons we have not been able to make a connection.

More about me - I am a white male, in my 50's, in very good health, average to muscular built, 6'tall, 220lbs. I am young for my age mentally and physically.
Write me let's get to know each other.

I am located east of Baton Rouge.

I drew the picture below. She was a very special woman that I met online but never in person. I need more inspiration to draw again, could it be you?

like busch light? got the balls to gut a deer? - 21 (allendale)

Me: laid back country boy light smoker love a good laugh good job born again christan redneck/outlaw type prefer country music but listen to anything but rap enjoy a good fire hunting and fishing bluejeans and a tee shirt 7 days a week won't drive anything but a ford truck

You: white 19-25 high school grad born again not a big girl no drama stay at home mom type hunt/fish a plus not divorced no kids not bi semi- normal will laugh at mexican jokes

Your pics get mine NO PORN!!! e-MAIL first see where it goes from there

Just an old Hippie lookin 4 my Flower - 53 (Prairieville)

Read before you email. Just an old hippie looking for a laid back, down to earth woman That's it. Plain and simple. DO NOT REPLY IF YOU WANT ME TO SEE YOUR PICs ON A WEBSITE!!I will not reply so you are just wasting time. Must know what you want!!! All women are welcome. Have a photo if interested. Looking for someone that's 4ft to 6ft, 35 to 60 years old, petite, slim, average, a pound or to won't bother me either, for a long term commitment, friends 1st, who doesn't mind getting her hands dirty in the garden or baiting her own hook, cuddle ling together on the couch or going out to dinner & a movie. Must be open & honest. No druggies, pill heads, drunks need apply, please. Live in my own house with 1 small dog,two goldfish and a pet crawfish. Disabled, I walk with a limp. After a long day, I usually wind up in a recliner watching a little TV or reading.

Pet crawfish as a selling point? Hell to the yes! I think I just lost a little piece of my heart to this hippie from Louisiana.

Naught but an LSU chap! - 23 (LSU)

Top of the morning! I here post an advertisement with aspirations of coming across a fine lady in search of companionship, as I am also seeking as much. However, I dare not begin relations with the intent of partnership! The variance between "companionship" and "partnership" has been established in my thinking, and if clarification be needed by the fine lady replying to this ad, by all means, do inquire.

As for my affinities, I delight in the speaking in ways outdated, though it may irk all that read my peculiar wordage! I am well-versed in the ways of the world and partake in the activities fancied by today's popular culture, such as picture shows, the haunting of drinking establishments, and the occasional bivouacking venture!

If you are attractive, petite, and have a fine way with words, please respond, be it only to sass! I look forward to it!

If you be of the daring kind, I bid you send a picture! If you're way totally awesome, send two. :D

Forsooth, but doth this poster, who delights in the speaking of ways outdated (and of which period he copies I am unsure), realize that 'totally awesome' is a saying which is common in the vernacular of those living in these modern times?

Searching for young barbi dol to marry and love and honor

Add pretty much states it all
searching for an adorable young sweet thing who is searching for true I am a single white male engineer who is
searching for an adorable young sweet thing who is searching for true love.
I live out on a small estate 3 acres with an inground pool
I live alone so I could use a roommate who likes
to go out and have fun, maybe take a cruise or a 3 day get away trip
If you can cook I will adore you
If you look hot in a string bikini I will worship you
You have a heart of love I will marry me
Drop me a note if you are interested
Oh yea I live near in a quiet peaceful country town
outside Huntsville Alabama so you would have to relocate
Do you mind a guy who would love to spend time with you
Doing things with you
Do you mind a guy who pay you alot of attention and affection
That would be me

"You have a heart of love I will marry me"...WORDS TO LIVE BY.
/kanyeweststylecaps

I cry for the teachers he had in younger years, who probably tried to get him to diagram his sentences. Our public school system is a failure.

Elliott Smith lover seeks drunk fem for fun

gotta love me



Watch until the end. You'll be sorry you did. I was.

Come let me worship every inch of you body and soul - 25 (Grand Rapids)

I feel all women are meant to be worshiped and adored.
In bed Angel's of beauty my truest of desires is to satisfy your needs.
Passionately I will dive into your pleasure's making them my own.
I'm willing to try most thing's so don't hold back tell me all your fantasy's and dreams.
Get in touch with me soon so I can get in and touch you.
So Goddes can I get your phone No...
Or e-mail me for mine.
Words cannot describe how sad and pathetic the actual posted pictured is. I think this picture speaks in ways that I cannot.

Cute Funny Paducah boy looking for funny goofy chickadee. - 28 (Paducah KY)

I am a normal guy looking for a possible relationship with a smart chickadee. I love culture, great films, art, wonderful music, and trying to enjoy the simle things in life. Canidate must find be able to find humor in about everything, and try not to take life seriously. Sarcasm is welcome, especially if it's directed at the tasteless Western KY clones that surround us(sadly this is coming from a fellow Kentuckian, but I feel I should have been a New Yorker (lol). I need a girl who can have a great conversation, has her own opinions, and never feels the need to agree with me. I don't want a Klingon (someone who must spend every waking moment with me) although sometimes thats a good thing. Its good to have a life outside of your monogamous partner. I love, adore, worship great music. Canidate must AT LEAST appreciate Radiohead. If you don't like Radiohead, I don't think we could jive (lol). or maybe we could, I don't know what the hell I'm talking about half the time. No headgames, or pretending to be perfect. Flaws are welcome, including temporary craziness, pudgy belly, bad hair days, your favorite hoody, a lack of make up is nice, or whatever makes you nonperfect... I feel the flaws are what we fall in love with. If this sort of thinking makes sense to you, please drop me a line. And please, please, please............just be yourself!!!


Really, radiohead? He was so close to being adorable.

looking for a wife - 32 (Kentuck)

I am looking for a woman to spend the rest of my life with. I don't have much to offer in the way of material things right now but have plans to attain many possessions in the future. I can offer you a stable and loving relationship.
I am recently out of the Army and am now enrolled in college. My future plans include a cross country motorcycle trip and a sailing trip to the Keys. If you think you might be interested let me know.


I already have the ring!


Hmmm. Can anyone say rebounding? I guess in Kentucky they go straight from one potential wife to another. This guy better watch out, he may run out of cousins.

Classy and Charming man seeks Carp Love (biddeford)

while it's true i don't have passions... as the french say "j'ai de grands poissons". i am still interesting.

caption: poissons d'amour de dames.

Zombie Teddy Bear seeking Malice in Wonderland - 24 (Northern Lower MI)

Greetings...

Im a bit of an odd ball, I love halloween...and that in its own, labels me a goth by most. I adhere to no such claims, but also dont deny it. I am what I am, I will always be me. I will change for no one but myself, and even then, may not. Sometimes I play the gentleman card all too well, preventing me from getting the very thing im seeking. But all too often, my luck cycles round, and I get all the more of what I truely need. Perfection and desire are over rated. Sometimes the best things in life, are the smallest moments, not the big dream.

I see myself with a gentle soul, its hard to anger me. Im very passive and cynical, but when its time to stand my ground, I do with my head held high. Even if it means I take all the damage, and suffer my life.

My hobbies are a bit random. Mostly im addicted to Video games, hailed by friends and online gamers alike as a Professional Gamer, mostly at shooters (ill admit Guitar Hero Expert can still stump me). I work at a video store, which helps feed my addiction, as well as feeds my photographic memory full of movies. I love to draw, write, and do computer graphix as a muse smacks me, sometimes months apart. I love to get out into nature to see beautiful environments including forest playgrounds & midnight strolls through cemetaries. Im a nightowl and VERY nocternal, but not into bars...though sometimes yew can find me at a concert. I love all kinds of music. Country is the hardest for me to find something I can stand. Techno & Rock are my favorite.

If your curious, drop me a line. Im not seeking anything meaningless, but I offer my hand only in friendship. In hopes that I will find the one. Looking for a good girl with a dark side, who is intellegent and gifted, but not full of herself. No head games. Glasses, Piercings, Wild Hair Colors, and Tattoos are a turn on.

Halloween is Everyday.

Sun and Snow Together (Nw Mi)

Don't you just love my icon? I always feel like Ronald in the middle - just want to have fun!

Let's have fun this winter. We can do snow shoeing, snowmobiling, skiing, scramble, momopoly. Go bowling, to a movie, on a road-trip. Stay by the fire and cuddle. Will you kiss me on our first date?

Here's the deal: My 3 grand kids are with me from 5pm to 8pm, sometimes earlier. So the rest of our day is for us.

Reply to this if you have time for an adventure.

I'm an old college linebacker (football), stayed out of the army, managed a large department store, retired as a financial planner with all my cash. My hair is salt/pepper, a good-looking 6 footer, hazel eyes, can still play ball and shoot hoops, ski occasionally, shovel my driveway. Love to dance (especially the horizonal mumbo), be active, converse and write. Can we venture into new things together?

Presumptiously addressing you, I would say you are either young or old, but adventurous, agile, and adorable. Please be an elegant lady who wants to be treated as one. You like reading Mystery and Romance, but loves living both. Would rather be with Sean Connery, Jack Nicholson, Justin Timberlake than John Wayne, a tanned Hamilton, Nicholas Cage. Likes to tickle, discuss events, and just be silly. Rather get a room and order-in than spend time in a restaurant then get a room.

Why don't you reply soon with or without a photo. I will reply in-kind, with a cell #, so we can plan lunch, your choice of time/place. Sure beats endless emails and we get food and conversation! No winter blahs here!

eeverything that keeps me together is falling apart - 25 (the louvre)

can you help us?
not only me, but will you help yourself?
introduction to the royal treatment infused with chivalry and perfectly delightful, warm mood-cupled by distinguished good looks and a brain as sharp as a tack!
higher class leisure. fine dinner, fine conversation, plays and concerts from everything inbetween Depeche Mode to Tschaikovsky.

shimmering is my imagination, it envisions you and i sharing a bottle of French wine and holding hands as you look longingly into my blue blue blue eyes, no one is romantic like me anymore.

Are you in school and broke? - 32 (Maple shade NJ)

Are you in school and been looking at your checking/savings account saying Ouch. I have no money? Might you need some help paying off those pain in the a$$ credit cards or maybe you need some new clothes for the fall semester.
If this sounds like you, please email me with a picture and/or a full description, age and location and maybe we can scratch each others backs and help each other out

Are you the girl that should join me at Brad Paisley?

I have killer seats for the Brad Paisley concert at the Iwirelss center. Of course, the best seat in the house is always next to me! (smile) I need an equally awesome companion to accompany me to the show.
Said companion must be smarter than the average bear and easy on the eyes. She should be an engaging conversationalist and have a wicked sense of humor (of course it helps if you are really into Brad Paisley).
Send me a recent pic and an essay of 45 words or less (the fewer words the better) as to why I should choose you as my date.
Extra points given for creativity. Bribes are encouraged. ;-) And yes, that really is me in the pic! LOL.
Danny

His photo fell some where in between douchebag and tool, resembling a senior picture of a 30 year old man.

Seeking female email - 68 (Ruston LA)

Let´s get to know each other by email first. Older single male, sane,
solvent, looking.
______________________________________________

You had me at solvent or perhaps it was the rhyming title. It is all too sexy.

DickSwagga - 31 (GR)

Just online looking to satisfy a lovely lady tonight. You dont have to tell me , I know exactly what Im doing!!!!


NOTE: This was found in the women seeking women section.

Definition of "Dick Swagga"

The direction a male has to lean to either the right or left when urinating, with a free hand to maintain a constant urine flow into the toilet bowl. Every male has their own personal dick swag. EX: Last night was crazy man, I don't know what happened but I had to piss down the hall and around the corner to maintain my dick swag.

WANTED: Shallow, Arrogant, Gold digger - 23 (Kalamazoo)

If you fit these qualities I would love to chat. If you dont fit these qualities I would love to chat as well. Just trying the whole online dating thing. Im smart, good looking, and have an athletic body type. I can also fight off a black bear* in the forest if need be. If you would like to know more, send me an email and a photo(and please NO nudity-keep it classy ladies), we can chat, and possibly meet up if things go right.

ciao *previously I had something about being a "dragon slayer". I was referencing the fairy tale aspect, and was completely unaware of the slang meaning at the time.

Seasonal Girlfriend wanted! - 20 (Kalamazoo, MI)

Im seeking a woman for the winter and winter season ONLY. Put your body pillow in storage, because until those trees blossom, i'll be yours baby.


Notable: his pictures registered on my douche-radar.

BEAUTIFUL CUSTOMER SERVICE WOMAN AT MEIJERS IN PLAINWELL - m4w - 36 (PLAINWELL)

I am looking for the beautiful customer service woman at the meijers in plainwell. she has the different colored hair. wow she is hot! if you know this person pass this on to her.