Are You a SEXY RETARD or Have Developmental Issues?? - 34 (Suburbs)

Hi,

I am not retarded nor dumb and stupid like a retard; I actually graduated from college with honors and distinction. I have never dated anyone mentally challenged but woke up today and thought to myself, as long as she looks good, who cares what her cognitive thinking abilities are? Women should be seen not heard, right? If you have a thin slender body, firm breasts, and a tight ass I don't care what your IQ is. As a matter of fact the dumber you are the more turned on I will be.

I am after a woman that looks good and will let me have my way with her, someone that will not question me if I come home at 3:30 in the morning with lipstick on my collar. If you have a little palsy in you, you get bonus points. I suppose my only hang up is you can't be a drooler; I have to draw the line somewhere. If you are intrigued, write I AM YOUR RETARD in the subject line and send me your pic. If I think you have the "goods" I will respond with my pic.



Hi,

FYI: you aren't even close to funny enough to be as offensive as Sarah Silverman and get away with it. You are a pretty shitty human being. Thanks for letting us all know on the internet. Apparently, you are 34 years old, which I'm pretty sure means you should grow the fuck up.

PS: Meet your boyfriend.

Wow guys. I think Husband? just came full circle jerk.

One reason to date Bob Crunder - 27 (new orleans, la)

He will let you ride his big cock!!!!



Reasons to love this post:
1) Bob Crunder is a man who doesn't understand the embarrassment inherent in advertising for sex on Craigslist
2) Bob Crunder is proud of his big cock, and isn't afraid to let the public know, via these delightful things we call the internets
3) Judging from the picture Bob Crunder posted, he does in fact have a huge cock.

Bob Crunder in you in '09!

Reconnaissance of the Pastel Psychokinetic Polysyllabic Nymphomaniac - 29 (Chicago)

dear secluded craigslist nymphomaniac,

i was adrift in a psychedelic wonderland distant and misanthropically content, but to my delight in a surreal artist state i consumed an abstraction to exigently post a diatribe in a free online forum dazzled with prolixities unbeknownst to the common cyberspace fluff bunny. nonetheless, destined to antagonize me with factoids discovered with perilous surreption from some ominous online peregrination or irrelevant source of badinage.

i understand my pastel psychokinetic polysyllabic nymphomaniac cyberspace heroine presupposed all this while magnanimously perusing craigslist in between wondering why she can't find herself a good man. fear not, i'm the lizard king and hopefully you're not another xenophobic, apathetic fascist who displays nepotism for all that isn't affluent by corporate constructed contrivance. i digress...i'm still dubious as well. i'm not too impressed at the idea you could be some anti-aesthetic form of human life classified as: bbw or fat. or perhaps lacking a reverence for a modern infrastructure that would allow you to co-exist, or subsist on some arboretum in a fabricated urban reflection transparent to everyone but you.

nonetheless, i cannot ignore my desire to seduce you indubitably with lack of judgment. alas, i save the greatest for dessert my pastel psychokinetic nymphomaniac polysyllabic cyberspace heroine. also, please forgive my idiosyncratic predilection for nymphs who allow me indulge my fetish for pastel coated easter eggs. they may become a reoccurring theme.

looking for a funny girl with big boobs... - 26 (denham springs)

just looking for someone nice to be able to enjoy time spent together....

Lauren, I think this one was made for you.

Seasonal Girlfriend wanted! - 20 (Kalamazoo, MI)

Im seeking a woman for the winter and winter season ONLY. Put your body pillow in storage, because until those trees blossom, i'll be yours baby.


Notable: his pictures registered on my douche-radar.

DAN *DO NOT FLAG* VERY IMPORTANT HE READS THIS! - 20 (Belmont)

Hey Dan maybe you should check your email. I think I got your girlfriend pretty dang upset right now, I told her how Jessica is over there right now and how you have been cheating on her. Man what a shame. I'm sure your ingoring her phone calls just like you are doing to mine *CHEATER* Man I hope she isn't going to break up with you. What a shame.

I have nothing but questions about this ad. Who is Dan, and why does he only read m4w ads, and not w4m?* Who posted this, and what did Dan do to them? Why is Dan ignoring his/her calls? Is Dan ignoring his/her emails, too? Is Dan's girlfriend going to break up with him? Who's Jessica? How does the poster know Dan is cheating on his girlfriend with Jessica? Why does the poster think that this ad will get Dan's attention even though he/she's already emailed, called, and likely left messages? Do they really think Dan doesn't know? So many questions for such a short ad! MAN, WHAT A SHAME.

*I checked, and this was only posted in m4w, not w4m, w4w, or m4m.

semifamous:) movie actor at luxury midtown hotel seeking DISCREET -m4w - 39 (Manhattan)

I am not George Clooney, Matt Damon famous...but I am pretty well known...chances are you have seen me in a movie or on a talk show. I get stopped on the street pretty regularly. It has been a fantasy of mine to meet a hot stranger this way and have a hot tryst with her. I mention my fame for one reason, I want this kept very discreet and you must be someone willing to keep it 100% discreet... I do NOT want to end up in the tabloids for it. (I have been in the tabloids before...but for nothing like this :) ) Therefore, you must be very discreet...great if you are married. I am staying in a very nice suite in a luxury hotel in midtown Manhattan...you can come here or if you are a reasonable cab ride away I can come to you. I am NOT going to say who I am, on this ad...but I will tell you when we talk, and you will be able to verify it. As for the basics, I tend to be on the dominant side in the bedroom. I love to tease a woman, spank her, take control. I am handsome, white, brown hair, blue eyes, medium height, medium build.

looking to eat some wet pussy right now - m4w - 39 (Jackson/ridgeand)

i'm looking for a woman the bigger the better, who want to have her pussy ate out. Age, race, weight doesn't matter. i'm available now. i'm 6'5, 290lb, hazel brown eyes, love to eat. if i got to pay for it i'm not interested, unless it that good. hollar at me . i'm waiting, will send contact info upon request. No games, or endless email