Do you have a pool? - 27 (BR)

Do you? lol I'm off of work sun and mon and would just love to relax by a pool. I figured it could be a good "date" cause we can just hang out and talk and get to know eachother. What ya think?


Hey, is it cool if I shamelessly use you a bit? Oh, and I uh, I totally want to get to know you. In the sun. By your pool. Just me, the sun, the calming water, not a care in the world, and uh, you.

Ignoble Deviled Egg Inquisitions Green Eggs & Ham Coquette - 29 (Disney)

Are you a muse to Dr. Suess? I need you. I can't coagulate my deviled egg recipe without an indelible spitfire to help me create a counteractant to eliminate adult diaper rash and premature ejaculation. We can cohere on a platonic, quasi erotic or hyper enlightened level for jollity on a sporadic or periodic basis. Actually, I really have no idea what I need. A loutish coquette with mental and emotional balance, an enigmatic disposition and an affinity for getting moist down below at the slightest adumbration of copulation between two animate objects and the olfactory whiff of deviled eggs and pre-smoked ham would be sufficiently jubilant.

I like to matriculate sultry comestible nymphomaniacs. It sounds so delicious that I salivate at the notion of deviously inveigling you while slowing devouring a bucket of chicken. I gravitate towards pretty girls with cyber-sex addictions abstruse to free online forums. I optimistically contemplate the opportunity of making you laugh to the point of wetting yourself in public. Don't let my thralldom to vernacular discharge contradict my desire to obtain deeply spiritual or mutually enlightening relationships with lascivious wanna be gonzo pornstars and diabolic youtube video vixens. All I really ask is that you know how to make green eggs and lick ham. There's no need to tell me about how tired you are of reading ads without feeling the compulsion to rub yourself continuously moist and dumbed with phrenic euphoria.

It's true. I live in the modernist purgatory euphemistically called Chicago. I'm in my late 20's and I'm tall. I have a predilection for wet women. Call me an artist. I like drawing faces of dainty damsels and making them squirt with cachinnation at the exploitation of deviled eggs and the iridescence of processed foods, sex toys and edible clothing. Amenable coquettish quasi-harlots are encouraged to apply within...


It's like someone used a thesaurus, put their post into BabelFish translator, and then whipped out their thesaurus again. Genius?
Bonus points for using the word "phrenic" in a sentence, even if I'm not convinced that he used it correctly intentionally.

women please read before responding - 29 (ERIE)

Hello, my name is Rico.I am from New Jersey. I am 29 years old single no kids. I am a model/Actor. Yes, i do that fulltime sotherefore that is my profession. I know all of you women may say "what in the world is he doing on criaglist". That is a very good question. I have no clue. I am sitting here on a sunny afternoon in my house just chilling. I am a layback kinda of guy. I like to play bingo, bowling, watch a t.v.; lockout extended stay, saop operas, watch sports, laugh etc.. I enjoy working out and just taking care of my body. Our bodies our very precious and what you put in them is what you are going to get out of them. No it isn't easy nor cheap to keep your body up to par but well... that is another subject. What i look for is very simple, a mature woman wether she is younger than me or older just a mature woman that knows what she wants. A woman that is not up for the games and not a woman that is trying to think that she is very clever because it wont work-out to well. Just looking for a woman that desires to be treated like a woman. I been on criaglist for approximately 1 month and i have not found a woman that is ready to actually settle down they say they are but when they meet me there like ummmh!!! like this isn't legit. Something gotta be wrong with this guy he can't be this good to me. Yes, i been on 3 dates and let's say that i will leave those lines blank but i assure you that if you ask any of them about me they will say he is forreal. He is the same man that is on craiglist they will say. "Yes" he is. So the question is why am i still single and what i am still doing on criaglist! Well, i am still on criaglist because there is still a void. I believe that everything is a process. Nothing happens overnight you have to be patient and understanding. which is cool. but please do not say to me Rico, I read your ad and i was feeling it than after that you start playing the mind games because i am not with it. Trust me on that. I will tell you thanks but no thanks. I am not trying to make this a competition nor nothing like that. I always say that i rather take a girl who works at a mcdonalds and take the bus and train everywhere. than a great that works on wallstreet and drives a benz or rangerover. I am not materialistic just want somebody who will respect me and cherish me as i am somebody. Looks yes is a plus but for me not the whole package.I am down to earth!!! My goals and determinations. Let's say that i will be in paramount one day and you will be seeing me on the big screens saying mann, i had an opporutnity to be with that Guy but.... very very soon!!! I will not give up. the devil has been trying to discourage me and break me down but i wont give in nor give up. I came to far to do that. Yes, i date women with kids etc.. but no drama. No stress. Race is not important. nope not at all. just as long as you cherish me and treat me like i am somebody. p.s. Please send a fullbody pic or i will not respond to your email quevolahabana2005 at yahoo dot com Sincerely: Rico


Judging by the pictures he posted, I would guess that he is neither a model nor an actor. Also, I'm not clear on what a "great" is. Apparently they work on Wall Street, and they prefer to own cars like Rangerovers or a Mercedes Benz. If you have any information concerning the definition of a "great," please let me know. I would appreciate any/all insights.

Searching for young barbi dol to marry and love and honor

Add pretty much states it all
searching for an adorable young sweet thing who is searching for true I am a single white male engineer who is
searching for an adorable young sweet thing who is searching for true love.
I live out on a small estate 3 acres with an inground pool
I live alone so I could use a roommate who likes
to go out and have fun, maybe take a cruise or a 3 day get away trip
If you can cook I will adore you
If you look hot in a string bikini I will worship you
You have a heart of love I will marry me
Drop me a note if you are interested
Oh yea I live near in a quiet peaceful country town
outside Huntsville Alabama so you would have to relocate
Do you mind a guy who would love to spend time with you
Doing things with you
Do you mind a guy who pay you alot of attention and affection
That would be me

"You have a heart of love I will marry me"...WORDS TO LIVE BY.
/kanyeweststylecaps

I cry for the teachers he had in younger years, who probably tried to get him to diagram his sentences. Our public school system is a failure.