Want to have a messy, crying, drooling mini-human together? - 30 (Chicago)

Your eggs aren't getting any fresher!!

Seeking a highly intelligent, liberal-minded sort of woman who is ready to be a responsible parent with me. Bonus points for earth friendly types.

You're ready to geek out over the healthiest stuff to feed the little thing and how to turn him/her into a baby brainiac surrounded by books. You're at a place in your life where you're down with trips to the tot lot, storytimes, and family trips to the zoo.

Obviously you're fairly healthy/active, employed, nonsmoker, hopefully cute and sweet/nurturing/bubbly.

I'm a smart, healthy, clean cut, nice guy type SWM ready to move into dad mode with the right match.

I will reply to all who write a serious, thoughtful reply about possibly starting a family.




Points for knowing the difference between 'you're' and 'your.' Negative points for the whiff of desperation in this ad.

Sort of creepy anti-social type seeks happy-go-lucky girl next door!!! - 33

That is to say I love people, I just don't like to be around them all that much. I also love music... listening to and playing all types. It's possible that my creepiness would subside after you got to know me. I thoroughly enjoy sarcasm, the dark, slight cynicism, stupid blogs, hiking, salsa (the food not the dance), and masks. I'm not tall ~ 5' 9" and not in the greatest shape, but not horribly out of shape or unattractive. If you're at all interested, you know what to do... hopefully. Anyway, pic for pic and all that BS. Have a nice day!

This gem comes from a computer in Madison, Wisconsin. Unrelated - Is 5'9" is the beginnings of tall? I judge everyone by ANTM model contestant height, and if contestants can be 5'8" and up, then 5'9" is tall enough to be a female model, which means that 5'9" is actually sort of tall, right?

OK, I Give Up - 48 (Baton Rouge)

Well, I tried some of the very direct stuff and got nothing but scam/spam back so, I have decided to go the more subtle route. Start slow and go from there
Looking for a nice, smart, gentle woman who I hope is married and in a secure position.
If you can talk politics, economy, or whatever you wish to discuss, I would like to meet you and eventually take your clothes off, if it's ok with you.
I travel quite a bit, yet when in BTR can meet just about anywhere and can host during the day. I am not a nut.
I drive a junky car, have a nice dog, and really am looking for someone who just wants to talk, have their opinion valued and listened to, and who knows from there

So, there really isn't anything for you to loose.

If I take you to IHOP, don't be surprised if I use coupons to pay the bill
Just being real




Points for being interested in getting consent before taking off someone's clothes after a coupon-fueled trip to IHOP?

"Husband Material Here... haha physch just kidding" - 30 (London, UK)

Here's a little bit about me.
-------------------------------

I'm a work hard, play hard kind of guy. I like entertainment, in fact, i'm ****ing passionate about entertainment.

I have a passion for achieving....I'm a doer not a talker.

Califonication, 30 rock and Heroes are ****ing awesome. Eastenders, Coronation Street and Hollyoaks’s are illustrations of how to not live your life.

I don't believe in God, but I believe that my God has a sense of humor. Picture this, he likes to think of me as a cat, places bundles of string in front of me and gets me to chase it getting closer and closer each time but never quite reaching it. I don't believe that people are good or bad...people are just people. I hope that you're *cough* good and bad ;)

I don't believe in taking advantage of people...except if they're religious and instant on giving you free hot chocolate.

What I'm Looking for
--------------------
Though I'm seeking a relationship, I'd rather 'hangout' first...I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not so easy, I need to socialized and wined and dined first. So are you a good cook? lol.

I'm not quite that intense. But if you're not fun, interesting and feminine I'm not interested. Oh! You must have a SMILE to die for.

I'm looking for a kick ass, cool, fun and interesting girl. Pretty, but not necessarily a page 3 figure (though that would be nice) ;).

Above all, you must be able to pass this test (select one from each):

1) Cappuccino or hot chocalote?
2) Hagen Daze or Ben & Jerry’s?
3) Sweet or savory?
4) Bars or clubs?
5) MSN, Facebook, email, phone or Face to face?

What I'm NOT Looking For
--------------------

- You wear a baseball cap, use the phrase "init", "safe" or "yeh man" or self styled 'IT' girls....then you can forget it I'm looking for a more classy girl.

- An "online buddy"...I have REAL LIFE friends

- A whale, wilder beast , common' cut out the crap

- A rake, a girl needs a figure


Could be Interesting
--------------------
The reality is you and I would probably never get along. I wouldn't take your sh*t- and you wouldn't take my shit. And that’s precisely why it could work. ;-)

Want to meet up?
----------------

Anyhow, if you think that you' like to meet up take the test and I'll take it from there if you pass.

First Date
Just imagine. We meet up for drink (yeah a drink is my first choice, that way if you turn out to be a dancing monkey or a wilder beast - I can 'go to the toilet' and never return...you girls know how it works!). It's a little bit difficult in terms of conversation at first - but the excitement thrills you. Our conversation is light - but fun, casual but exciting - we just seem to have so much to talk about.

You tell me about the pet rabbit you used to own, and I tell you about the time I worked at a rabbit processing plant. *whack on arm*

You tell me about the time you were talking to some old guy on a train and he fell asleep on you...and you look at me, and I'm sound asleep ;) - okay so I'm a little bit of a tease ;)

I tell you about the time I ran when a guy showed up pretending to be a girl I met online. Then, I tell you about the time I met the fat & skinny Elvis in Vegas (guess which one the girls liked?)

The conversation is fun, but engaging.

I ask you if you're spontaneous...to which you reply, you are.

We walk out the bar arm in arm and take a random bus to a random destination...we take it from there.

I await your response,

Luke

Sympathy Sex? - 22

hey, im border line depressed right now. i know if i get some from a decent looking girl itll uplift my spirits. i am home alone and in need to bone a chick

anygirls interested? theres plenty in it for u : )

My interest in the poster went up exponentially once I found out there was plenty in "it" for me. In the future, I suggest that he cut to the chase and simply post "pity fuck?"

My girlfriend is mean. - 23 (Mpls)

Hey i posted yesterday saying that my girlfriend treats me like shit and i want to meet some one new. I havnt gotten alot of response but a few and havnt really clicked with anyone yet. So if you wanna know more about me send me an email. Im 23, have a car, job, and home. Blonde hair blue eyes, 160lbs 5'10 i do have pics.

looking for a funny girl with big boobs... - 26 (denham springs)

just looking for someone nice to be able to enjoy time spent together....

Lauren, I think this one was made for you.

The poet - m4w - 24 (Covington)

Young writer with severe social anxiety. Just a tad lonley and looking for someone to hang out with.

From the pictures he posted, I'm tempted to say this lonely, lonely poet is too good to be posting craigslist ads. On the other hand, this ad is a little on the sad, desperate side, no?

looking to eat some wet pussy right now - m4w - 39 (Jackson/ridgeand)

i'm looking for a woman the bigger the better, who want to have her pussy ate out. Age, race, weight doesn't matter. i'm available now. i'm 6'5, 290lb, hazel brown eyes, love to eat. if i got to pay for it i'm not interested, unless it that good. hollar at me . i'm waiting, will send contact info upon request. No games, or endless email

I AM CONSTANTLY THINKING ABOUT SEX I CANT GET ENOUGH I ALSO HAVE HERPE - 24 (WASILLA BY WALMART)

I AM 24 YEARS OLD AND IN THE BEST SHAPE OF MY LIFE . I AM VERY CONFIDENT WITH THE WAY I LOOK SO I LOOK FOR THAT IN A SEX PARTNER ONE THING THAT I HAVE TO LIVE WITH IS THAT I HAVE HERPES SO IF YOU HAVE HERPES AND YOUR INTERESTED IN SOME DISCREET FUN LEMME KNOW AND WE CAN EXCHANGE PICS

The CAPS lends a certain sense of urgency to his offer for discreet sex, no?