Elliott Gore - 19 (Jonesboro Arkansas)

Hello, My name is Elliott gore. I am a dark-shinned gentleman ready for true love. I love to hangout with friends, play my trumpet and go to church. If you are ready for love holla at me

Just the shins, eh? It's like the reverse of a bad tan line from soccer shinguards.

you'll think my tractors sexy

looking for some paradeing material someone who is drop dead gorgues i like blone and long legs i am a farmer ouside of ithaca with a very sturdy built


Usually, I respond to what an individual is trying to say in their post. In this case, I think the poster would benefit a good deal more from a breakdown of their grammar and spelling errors.

you'll think my tractor's sexy

looking for some parading material*; someone who is drop dead gorgeous. I like blonde [hair] and long legs. I am a farmer outside of Ithaca with a very sturdy build.


*Begs the question: what is parading material? A person attractive enough to parade in front of others? Patriarchy is the worst.

All l need is you baby cum to me - 29 (Taylor)

Hi, I am Anton and I live in Taylor but from Africa. I'm 5'4 and weight 170. I been in Michigan for about ten years. I looking for her a girlfriend that is kind and understanding and is not out for one thing. I love music and movies, and I'm love Doctor you know what I mean. I am looking for girlfriend that I will give my love, if that's you look me up and Thanks for reading, I hope i will hear from you, have a great day.

I believe that this ad sends mixed messages - he's not interested in girls who are just looking for one thing, and yet the title for this ad appeals to only that select group. Methinks Anton is a wee bit conflicted.

PS "love doctors" never go out of style.

Sympathy Sex? - 22

hey, im border line depressed right now. i know if i get some from a decent looking girl itll uplift my spirits. i am home alone and in need to bone a chick

anygirls interested? theres plenty in it for u : )

My interest in the poster went up exponentially once I found out there was plenty in "it" for me. In the future, I suggest that he cut to the chase and simply post "pity fuck?"

a perfect pet - 33

hello im cool white dude small bulit sorry small over brown hair blue eyes , crooked teath , and very poor, but im house broken and wiil give you all ican , to make you happy , im ready today to move in it only takes less than a hun dred a weak to suport , me i want bark or neither , bite

He should get together with the 45-year-old looking for live-in adult companionship.

Starship Captn seeking Lady 1st Officer - 44 (NE OHIO)

Now I'm seeking 2 explore the galaxy with someone special.

I am a SBM seeking a non-smoking slim/med build lady (between 30 and 47) for a friendship that has the posibility of progressing into a LTR. I enjoy astronomy,football(Love the Browns even though they are 3-6),sci-fi,museums,amusement pks,reading military thrillers,cooking,chess,(I'm not good at it..Wanna play me??)

On our dream date, my match and I would catch a plane bound for Italy and enjoy some authentic food. Then she and I wake up from the "dream" and go to Olive Garden and maybe the Art or History museum here in town

The quirk that I appreciate in others is "quirkyness".

Something I can't live without is TIVO. It comes in handy to pause the Browns games and YOU and I need time to snuggle on the couch.

My feeling on love-at-first-sight is if it does not work the 1st time I'll walk past you a second time

I do have a photo for trade and hopefully you do also..Now its your turn...Tell me about you.....Happy Holidays

conservative, saved,cant seem to find, who I'm lookin for!!! 35-49 - 49 (west mi)

It seems that life is passing by, and oft times I must wonder why, my dreams and hopes are fading fast, no time to dwell upon the past........... to find the one God has for me, is really my desire, but life it seems has often had me stuck into the mire,..............................about the time I'm back on track a few more years are lost, ...its really such a pity when I think about the cost....
... Looking for a saved, conservative, bible believing,christian lady, attractive inside,out, who understands life is but a vapor, and knows the reason God has us here, PEACE

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - 24 (Towson/Jarrettsville)

Well I am open to all races as long as you are BEAUTIFUL.For some it is good for a change because they are stuck with the usual.You know people are caught up with the daily grind so they just tend to get boring and become plain.Besides who wants to see the same person each and every week. This creates a block and limits your capability.You start to think this is all I am capable of intill someone forces me to change or makes me see something differnt.Everybody is powerful in there own way they just have to be able to use it.That's why seeing someone diifernt no matter what there enthniticity is it's always good.People talk about what they always want but the fact is what can they bring to the table.For me I just like to have fun at this point in my life. It is good if you know at first what the other perons objective is. This creates and understanding leaving no room for error.Everybody wants to be happy and basically that's what i consider having fun.Now lets get to the important information, I am a sexy african american who happens to be highly confident, I always bring people up around me. I dont hang out with broke people, why if i did that would mean I am trying to be broke. I surround myself with wise men because I am one of them. Atleast I can say all of my friends have something outstanding about there character which tells something about me. I love the finer things in life I cant lie I grew up nice but i have seen more thant the above average person all sides of life.Some have only experienced one side so often they become biased which in some cases it is not there fault but they just dont know any better. This is why I am extrodinary I have seen every perspective there is to see, that's why I am on a mission I have alot of things that i am doing right now.I am setting myself up for the perfect shot therfore I wont miss any point that are owed to me. I am 5'8 light skinned I love to look good and everyone always says that I dress to impress. Which is true I impress myself and then comes you lol. It feels good to look nice. Your appearance is like an introduction, it determines if someone is going to read your book or just throw it back on the shelp with the rest of them.The fact is words can't explain me and whoever is reading this and got this far is obviously intersted and would like to see a picture of Me. I would love to send it.I only want serious women or more easily said women who know what they want as i said earlier this will elimate alot of errors which i dont have time for.I dont have time to figure out what you want you have to tell me how you want it. And you will get it even better, surprising huh.

The Bears r who we thought they were !!!!!!!!!! - 27

But They R Who WE THOUGHT THEY WERE!!!!!!!!!!! and we let em off the hook!!!!!!!!


weirdest coach rant ever
roflmaol

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am single Caucasian guy, 28 I am about 5 feet 10 170 and in pretty good shape. I am hoping to find a date for this Thursday or Friday. I am not into endless e-chatter - I would rather meet you and get to know you over drinks or some dinner.

Hope to hear from you! Your pic gets mine.


I dont go for the obsessively skinny or tall types that count calories and throw up dinner usually they tend to fit into a annoying pattern--to me healthy is sexy healthy being busty nice hips round bottom and nice thighed but not overweight dont misconstrue me i dont mean to be cras its just a delicate area between voluptous to big boned to overweight to sloppy i guess the cut off point for over would be if youre waist is more than 39 inches and arms are 14 iches or if youre figure resembles a pear more than jessica rabbit i just dont want to be mean if you email pleez have a realistic idea of yourself


and if youre a female bodybuilder thats ok as long as youre muscles arent bigger than mine

ps pleez dont just email me to compliment my ad or make lil existentialchit chat theres forums for that purpose and my goal here is to only alleviate some loneliness--- and homosexual replies will be forwarded to a homophobic zeolot friend of mine where you dont want to know what he'll do to youre email address---- thats bout it for now-------- MAN DOES MY LIFE SUCK !!!!!!

Prince Charming,, Is Still Lost.. without his Princess - 24 (Utica/Herkimer)

Hello, actually Id never post one of these but I thought this week Id live a little,, Im turning 25 in 8 days and it seems like the world is not slowing down, Im a young buisness owner, running a small but very growing advertising company, basically looking for someone to come home to and hold, watch a movie and just relax with.. if this is something your intrested in doing even as just friends feel free to give me a shout, Im always intrested in making new friends/ Its not all about sex in my life, "just to clear that up"


have a great day and looking forward to hearing from you


We have a policy of not including people's personal photos, but I think it's notable that this young business owner posted two photos of himself: one myspace-sex photo (naked. mirror. possibly taken with a camera phone?) and another with multiple America flag bandannas labeled "Boilermaker Roadrace."

STONERBONER NEEDS A MATE - 43 (JACKSON,MS)

HELLO MY NAMES,JOE,IM SINGLE,NO KIDS,DONT DRINK,LOOK LOT YOUNGER,STILL GOT IT.FUNNY AS HELL,FIND HUMAR IN EVERY THING,VERY GOOD LOOKING,CHARMING SMILE,EASY GOING,LAYED BACK COOL GUY,DONT LIKE TO ARGUE OR FIGHT,DOWN TO EARTH,CARING AND HONEST,DONT LIKE CHEATERS OR LIARS,HAVE A LOT GOING FOR ME,IM VERY EASY TO TALK TO,LIKE TO COOK AND CLEAN,WHAT CAN I SAY,SOMEBODYS GOT TO DO IT,I COLLECT CLASSIC MUSCLE CARS AND TRUCKS,AS AN IN VESMENT,OR HOBBIE,LIKE TO GO TO CARSHOWS,CONCERTS,SHOOTING POOL.CAMPING ANY THING FUN IN GENERAL,SO IF YOUR A COOL CHICK,WITH NO DRAMA,IM DOWN WITH THAT,JUST LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY TO CARE ABOUT,IM WHITE AND EXPECT THE SAME,PROMISE YOU WONT BE DISAPOINTED.HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON SINSERLY JOE

just a fun loving nerd!!! - 33

the names abilio people just call me bill , let me tell you about myself, im a goofy creative person who comes up with corny ideas like this one I thought up, remember that old Reeses commercial How do you eat your Reeses? Well I came up with my own tv ad for it . Have Reese Witherspoon(the actress) holding a large spoon and then say ,¨ How do you eat your Reeses?Witherspoon¨ Get it !! well I told you it was corny lol. Anyways my other goofy idea which is much better and if I have the time I would like to get it published is my own cartoon, I call it Violent Violet the Crayon gone bad.. It¦s a cross between the sopranos and flinstones .You see in my cartoon emotions represent the colors of the crayons I have characters such as green envy ,purple passion(violent violets girlfriend) anger management(hes the red crayon) etc. My first episode is titled dare to draw first blood.

Also a random thought , wouldnt it be cool if Dustin diamond(played screech powers on saved by the bell) fought emmanuel lewis( tv show Webster)on celebrity boxing , I can imagine dustin diamond getting himself pummeled by emmanuel lewis but the bell rings and ends the round, I can imagine the announcer saying something silly like,¨ looks like dustin diamond just got saved by the bell.¨ Announcer chuckles. Oh yeah I got one more stupid joke I created , its kind of not me but a creative person takes whatever he can get. Here¦s the joke,¨ what did judge judy say after screwing the jury?¨ It¦s a well-hung jury¨ stupid .

Okay heres another . I work in a pharmacy so one day I was asked to do a delivery for mr. Johnson. So I grabbed his prescriptions and headed down to his apartment. I knocked on his door and a 70-year old senior citizen answers the door ,¨ Mr.Johnson I say,¨ heres your prescriptions¨ Mr.Johnson replies , thanks sonny boy¨ he grabs the bag peeks in the bag and says,¨ hey young man wheres my Viagra prescription?,cant you people do anything right, Hows a guy like myself suppose to do for fun besides playing bingo and doing crosswords all day? So I say ,¨ Sorry about that Mr.Johnson , no hard feelings tonight¨ laugh track here . Some more one liners that I invented,¨ I had sex only once,and that¦s because I believed that old saying my parents use to tell me,¨ If you do it right the first time you don¦t have to come and do it over again.¨ Also I came up with some ideas for t-shirts, remember the hamburger helper commercial that had the little talking hand , well put him on a blank t-shirt and have the saying,¨ never bite the hand that¦s feed’s you¨ another idea is just to have this saying on a t-shirt,¨ Im anal retentive, in other words Im a perfect asshole!!!!. Heres some more old jokes that need work anyways here it goes, “ I’m going to write a book on famous people who use Viagra…It’s going to be a pop-up book!!!!. Ever hear about the girl with the big nose?.. her nose was so big, she was giving blowjob’s sideways. Hey whats the worst feeling a woman can have?... She’s about the have the best orgasm of her life and all of a sudden the batteries go dead. Heres one that I need to seriously rework hey some people like it,”

There once was this guy who was impotent. So he went to the doctor to fix his problem. The guy says to his doctor,” Doc ‘I’m ashamed of my impotency and I don’t want people seeing me taking Viagra pills.” Doctor replies,” Don’t worry about it , we’ve got Viagra pills that look like candy, no one will suspect a thing.”Just make sure no one sees you taking the them out of the prescription bottle.”The guy then says,” No problem I’ll just hide them in my fred flinstone pez dispenser.” So the guy goes home and puts the pills in his pez dispenser. Later that night he wants to make love to his wife so he takes a pill out of his pez dispenser and with the instant excitement forgets to put the dispenser back in his pockets and leaves the pez dispenser on the kitchen counter. The next morning his son josh is in the kitchen eating breakfast and notices the pez dispenser, and says,” cool a fred flintstone dispenser.. better take this with me to school.” So at school josh’s friends proudly shows his pez dispenser to his friends, afterwards they all ask if they can have some pez candy .. so josh gives one to each of his friends and to himself, 5 minutes later all of them have pointy pants, so one of joshs friends says ,” hey buddy what the hell,what kind of candy did you give us ?” Josh replies, I dunno, but I guess you could call it hard candy!!!!! I suck but I gave it my best But what do you expect I do have a sense of humor like screech lol. Hey did you know a sex toy company is coming out with a twisted version of play-doh?.. Its called play-dildoh. Hey heres a real put down you can use if people ever make fun of how you look,” hey my dog gets more compliments from men/women than you do! .. heres one last one , an elderly couple are at the museum , they come up to the statue of david, and the wife starts admiring it, saying how lovely and great it is.. well the husband starts getting jealous because his wife seems to be giving more attention and compliments to the statue than he has everhad had from his wife , so he says” So whats so great about the statue?.. whats it got that I don’t have?”.. the wife replies with a grin on her face,” For one thing hes always hard!!”.. also I don’t know if I thought of this before but heres another idea for tootsie rolls pop commercial, have someone sucking on a tootsie roll pop and then say,” theres a sucker born ever minute… on a toostsie roll pop. “if a priest commits a crime ,is it considered a white collar crime?”. If a person in a wheelchair does a comedy routine, is it still stand up?”. In college I majored in food chemistry with a minor in retail and fashion design….Now I can make clothes people can eat !!!Okay I know I should keep my day job, but hey I tried my best to brighten your day  okay now to the serious stuff.

Besides being a weird little man(im 5 10, 180 lbs) Im also a very flexible person who doesnt mind horseback riding, going to the aquarium/museum,the opera, staying at home watching a movie , playing chess or board games. hoping to meet someone who always keeps an open mind to whatever crazy idea that i come up with. i like doing a lot of things, as i believe everything new that i learn , will only make me a better person and less ignorant. i like working out ,chess, cooking,flying,reading,ufc,watching old tv shows etc. of course im always looking for new things to try, i love the knowledge and experience that comes with trying something new. hey maybe you can teach something new and i can teach you something new.

. Im a thoughtful person who always thinks of others before himself. If I was in a relationship and I was reading the Sunday paper and happened to stumble upon a coupon for my partners favorite make-up , I would cut it out attach it to a sticky note and write,¨ thought I would save you money babe¨ and put it in her purse.I guess I get satisfaction in helping others without getting anything in return. That feeling that you get from making someone happy , is worth more to me than money or any material goods.I also take pleasure in cheering people up, hey if my partner had a bad day or feeling under the weather, i would probably give her a nice massage and feed her fresh strawberries dipped in hot dark chocolate. Money and material possessions are fleeting but the lasting memory of helping or making someone feel better is forever. I think honesty is my best trait, being honest is so much easier, why go to the trouble of lying, when in the end it catches up with you. What ive just said is charming but means nothing if I cant put it to action. I rather do than talk, here’s an example for ya ladies: would you rather date a guy who can charm you too death but does not keep his words.. basically he’s all talk and no action or would you rather date a mime. Sure you’ll have communication problems in a relationship with a mime , but at least his actions speak louder than his words.( bad joke I know just trying to make a point). Anyone can talk but Few keep their words, I really hate people like that.

I’m also a type of person who likes to keep things fresh. I like to keep my partner on their tip toes. I like to keep them guessing on what I’m going to do next. One of the secrets to a good relationship is not to let it get stale. Many couples fall into a routine,doing the same thing’s over and over again. It’s like at the beginning the guy does everything he can to get the girl but once he gets her, he get’s uncreative and does the same thing over and over again. Hey relationships and life are about variety. Personally I’m not the guy that would follow the standard procedure aka where the guy gets a girl flowers and chocolates. Personally I would come up with a more creative idea such as mystery grab bag, which is a hallmark gift bag filled with such goodies such a chocolates,a lottery ticket,a pez dispenser,make up kit,a good book etc. Yeah I like to separate myself from the herd , don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with giving a girl flowers and chocolates, but to me it sounds redundant and over used.

Anyways I have a dog named aries a sheltie mix and 6 zebra finches (birds). Going to school to become a nutritionist , I love food and cooking(if only I had enough time to devote to it) but my major career goal is in aviation . I love flying and traveling all around the world, my mom tells me when I was baby and we were on a plane the only thing that came out of my mouth was ,¨ I want fly the plane) this was of course in Portuguese as I came to states when I was 3. I think this travelling fetish probably had to do with going to portugal every year as a kid.. My parents have a house there and every summer we would go there. My parents have tons of property there that they take care of( like picking grapes,almonds oranges, and getting the soil properly fertilized ect.) So i would help them and i made friends with other Portuguese and other kids who came from other parts of europe(france,germany,switzerland,spain,netherlands)so somehow i became fixated with travelling.

Anyways hoping to meet someone where we cant start out as buddies as I believe when you date someone expectations are high, you put to much pressure on date. I believe getting to know someone over a long period time (as friends) can tell if your right for each other. Hey when you go on date you or you date may have had a bad day and that may leave an undesirable impression. Anyways sorry im not good at this writing thing but if your interested feel free to write back. Oh yeah one more thing heres my list of favorite movies,tv shows, board games ,video games and other gibberish.

Favorite movies: platoon, sniper, napoleon dynamite,clerks(1 and 2),breakfast club,fast times at ridgemonte high, Harold and kumar, bill and ted excellent adventure,a very brady sequel adventure,transformers the movie,anger management,not another teen movie, karate kid 1,2, rocky III, rocky balboa, home alone 1 and 2, problem child 1 and 2,chucky, nightmare on elm street (all of them),searching for bobby fischer,ferris buellers day off,the crow, ghostbusters,E.T., star wars(all of them), star trek(all movies) the lost boys,goonies,the outsiders,back to the future(1 and 2),a very brady sequel.last of the Mohicans,lord of the flies,stand by me,Goodwill hunting,searching for bobby fischer, Indiana jones,little nicky,Brewster millions,billy Madison,enter the dragon,dodgeball,hitch,therock,ratatouille and gremlins( all 3 movies).

Favorite childhood shows and current favorites; kung fu,sledgehammer,bewitched,zoobilee zoo,gomer pyle,adventures of pete and pete,saved by the bell,the transformers,king of queens, the honeymooners,Seinfeld,the Bernie mac show smurfs,transformers,gi joe,get along gang,pacman, the shirt-tales, force five, Mindfreaks,starblazers,voltron,beavis and butthead, Webster, punky Brewster,different strokes, all in the family, baby looney tunes, batman:animated adventures, teenwolf,snorks,doug,rugrats,spongebob,malcom in the middle,smallville, Garfield and friends,rugrats,supernatural,everbody loves Raymond, Johny zero, last comic standing( seasons 2 and 3),the littles,Alvin and the chipmunks, heathcliff,wait till your father gets home, mr.belvidere,home improvement,dennis the menace,little archie, yogibear,flinstones,aqua hunger teen force, reno911,chappelle show, you cant do that on television, heman and the masters of the universe,gobots,ducktales,silver spoons, chip and dale, the Charlie brown show,alf, fat albert,the munsters,leave it to beaver, spiderman and his amazing friends,bewitched,teenage mutant ninja turtles, Kirby, dragonball z, battle of the planets,muppet babies, the muppets,Richie rich, angel,buffy the vampire slayer,stargate, family ties,wonder years,the highlander,airwolf,hey Arnold,knightrider,family guy,facts of life,happy days,Baywatch, parker lewis cant lose,brady bunch, life goes on,tour of duty,thundercats,alice,golden girls,Sanford and son,happy days,one day at time,facts of life,the fall guy,welcome back kotter, threes company,perfect strangers,mask,ghostbuster,growing pains,I love lucy,whos the boss,small wonder,Kirby,dragonball z,avatar,alf,quantum leap,Laverne and Shirley,simpsons,I think I should stop now cause ive got like a 100 more shows lol.

Favorite board games: operation,life, battleship,chess,chutes and ladders,hungry hungry hippo, mouse trap and of course chess!!!.

Favorite music bands: skid row( 18 and life), def leppard, toto,motley crue,poison,guns and roses,bon jovi,warrant, van halen, Madonna, new kids on the block(just joking )whitesnake,nirvana, Duran Duran,pink floyd.

Best song: ordinary world(duran duran),Africa(toto). House of fire(Alice Cooper)

Best tv show theme song: welcome back kotter, adventures of pete and pete,dukes of hazard.

Favorite sport: tetherball and dodgeball lol

Favorite wrestlers : curt henning,randy savage,raven,Hulk Hogan, owen hart,kurt angle,the rock.

Favorite cereals:cocoa pebbles,cocoa puffs, count chocula,golden grams,apple jacks.

Favorite gum: bazooka joe grape, great tasting gum, comes with a a comic and tells your fortune ,what can ask more from a gum. lol

Favorite movie and tv characters: Bruce lee,master,Quinn Mallory,Po,Gizmo,gonzo,slimer(ghostbusters)fozzie bear,gargamel,archie bunker, boom boom Washington,juan Epstein,alf, AC slater,ferris bueller, zach morris,angel,spongebob,Charlie brown,Duncan mcleod brainysmurf,spiderman,macgyver,Donald duck,Winnie the pooh,tigger,jughead jones, sam and dean Winchester(supernatural) lex luthor(smallville), green arrow ,Michael knight(smallville),jeff spicolli,batman, randall (clerks)kara(smallville),destro,cobra commander, white shadow,major blood,pete and pete,endless mike,batman,roscoe Coltrane,orko,daisy dukes.

Favorite transformers: starscream,galvatron,megatron,stunticons,aerialbots,dinobots,combaticons,omega supreme,shockwave,soundwave,cyclonus,rumble.

Favorite romantic things to do: I know this gonna sound lame, but I think cuddling up with someone on a couch with a cup of hot chocolate , watching a movie or Saturday cartoons together is romantic, otherwise nothing beats a walk on the beach followed with a picnic,or a hot air ballon ride. Oh yeah this might not be so romantic but it would be cool to go to a magic workshop with someone and learn to to do magic together. You know practice with each other.

All time favorite video games: animal crossing( this game totally cracks me up :)
Mike tysons punch out,Zelda,castlevania, super mario3, tecmo bowl,san andreas,tekken 5,Grand theft auto 4.

By the way does anyone remember lasertag and photon?

Also does anyone remember collecting garbagepail kids?

Also does anyone remember teddy ruxpin?

Hey anyone have or had the smurfs pvc’s?( the little plastic smurfs) I remember playing with them and along with the transformers,gi joe,he-man toys , they rocked!!!!!!!!!

Slinkys also kick ass!!!

Smurfs or snorks?

Vinny Barbarino or Fonzie?

Bo Duke or Luke Duke?

Kitt or General Lee?

Anyone ever solve Rubicks cube?.... I know obviously theres a trick to it … the only trick I know is peeling off the stickers and placing them back on..lol!


Who do you think got higher SAT scores Samuel “Screech” Powers or Steve Urkel?

Anyone besides me wants to see NBC bring back Alf?... I have all the seasons on dvd and I tell you he’s one frickin funny dude?

Oh one more thing did anyone remember trying to break dance back in the day? … I remember getting an empty cardboard box and trying to spin on my head all while listening to a big stereo system.… lol those were the fun days ;)

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Dont you hate when your cock doesnt get enough attention? He probably needs a friend. I can be that friend. I will pet him, and lick him and snuggle with him. I'll spend quality time with him keeping him clean and warm.

If he ever gets the urge to throw up, I'll be there to clean up leaving no mess behind. I'll show him the attention that no one else is willing to give him.

We'll even play hide and seek. I'll put him waaaaay down my throat so no one can find him. Or, maybe I'll tuck him in another warm and dark place. He can stay there as long as he wants.

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Bottom line: I think I like m4m adds better because they are more graphic.