OLD COW-POKE NEEDS SADDLE ASAP!!!! - M4W - 59 (Muskegon)

OLD COW-POKE NEEDS SADDLE ASAP!!!

Dead or Alive saddle for Steed for permanent part-time butt, a good time (VERY).
Required for temporary riding butt, may need for long term. I'ma lookin'fer a saddle that is currently owned by Fillies ONLY!!!!! My rope don't swing thatr way.

Condition as follows:
1. Gently used butt, not abused (may consid-her)
2. Must be comfortable to the touch & feel.
3. Well oiled or at least cums with container of polishing liquid.
4. Cleaned, perfumed and or powdered before or upon delivery.
5. Not ever been around smoke or been injected with non-prescribed drugs.
6. Sizes accepted: all sizes will be considered
7. Must be flexible (in more ways than one).
8. Crate must not be over 72" tall (I get vertigo)
9. Will not accept one with animal droppings or the like.
10. Prefer made in U.S.A. Others will be tested for fit.
11. If dead, I have the proper suave to revive it.
12. No more than 60 or less than 30 yrs old. Other ages will be considered.
13. Horn size: the bigger the better (I love BIG Hooters)

As always, when jumpin’ on ‘er on I always do it VERY slow and methodical as to not to hurt ‘er.

I promise that during every ride, I will treat it gently and after every use that I will
re-condition it with my own special home made treatment made from tounge-oil.

I will accept offers from Kents and Ottawa counties only.
DE-livery instructions: I can pick 'er up, meat 'er half-way. or I'd be willin' to pay C(lit) O(oral).D(dick. If a deposit is needed, I WILL provide it.
By the by they call me Slim or (re) Pete or Tex (I have a big heart 'n my steed ain't too small, neither), or Slow-Poke or Stretch or the Long Range-Her Whatever y'll call me, don't yer call me "Late fer Vittles" Jest to be clear I'm only interested in saddles owned by Fillies. So if yer not a Filly, then go back to yer own side of the fence.