Oriental? Need a helping hand? - 40 (London)

Sensible, reliable, married guy looking for young, intelligent oriental girlfriend in exchange for financial help. Complete discretion assured.


It is too bad that he is already a husband. Boy, do I love a guy who says 'oriental.'

Pussy Slave (Eureka)

Q1. What is a pussy slave?
A1. Simply put, a pussy slave is a person who stimulates your pussy with his or her mouth, tongue, fingers, toys, etc as you direct, when you say, and without question or hesitation to help you achieve orgasm.

Q2. What kind of woman can use a pussy slave?
A2. Many kinds. Maybe you're between relationships and miss the sexual pleasure and just need a pussy slave to fill in the gaps. Maybe you are in a relationship or married and don't want to leave but you're not being orally pleasured as much as you would like. Basically, any woman who enjoys being orally pleasured and needs more of it can use a pussy slave.

Q3. So is this just a one time deal?
A3. Absolutely not. Many ladies keep their pussy slave as a special FWB for months or even years. A pussy slave will get better for you as he learns what gets you wet, what makes you moan, what makes you feel good, what pushes you over the edge and gives you an orgasm. Pussy slave will pay close attention to your body, your squirms, your reactions, and your verbal feedback to learn the perfect techniques and rhythm that works best just for you.

Q4. Will my pussy slave give me more than one quick orgasm? I want to take my time.
A4. Yes, if that is what you desire, it is, as usual, totally up to you. A few ladies will just want one quick no nonsense no hassle orgasm, most will want more. Pussy slave will pleasure you until you are satisfied. Some ladies will want to be pleasured to several orgams (three is a common number), others will want to be pleasured for hours until they can't manage another climax. Ladies are often suprised at how many orgams a pussy slave can give them once he is familiar with just how she likes to be pleasured. Simply let your pussy slave know you want additional stimulation.

Q5. How do I ask my pussy slave to pleasure me?
A5. Any way you like. You can ask, but you can also command. The pussy slave follows your every direction to the letter and never questions. You may call your pussy slave by first name, or use a name that you prefer. "Pussy boy" or just plain "pussy slave" are common.

Q6. I'm feeling agressive today. May I sit on my pussy slaves face?
A6. Absolutely! The choice of position is always exclusively yours. The pussy slave never questions your choices. Pussy slave simply obeys the directions of his lady as accurately and quickly as possible.

Q7. What does the pussy slave expect in return? I'm not sure I want to reciprocate.
A7. The pussy slave asks for nothing in return except the pleasure of servicing you and helping you to have a pleasant release when and where you need it. Most ladies do not provide any reciprocation.

Q8. What if I want to reciprocate? Is it permitted?
A8. Absolutely. You may always reciprocate if you are in the mood to do so, but pussy slave will never ask nor expect his lady to reciprocate. A lady may offer reciprocation every time she uses her pussy slave, occasionally, or not at all depending on her liking.

Q9. How may I reciprocate?
A9. Any way you like. You may reciprocate with hands, orally, or you may have intercourse with your pussy slave (with protection). A few ladies enjoy intercourse with their pussy slave after being orally pleasured. More commonly, the lady will command her pussy slave to masturbate while she watches. Pussy slave accepts reciprocation gladly, but never expects it nor asks for it.

Q10. How many lady's does a pussy slave have at a time?
A10. Just one. If you are using your pussy slave regularly he will only service you.

Q11. How often may I use my pussy slave for pleasure?
A11. As often as our schedules permit. Most lady's will want to use their pussy slave for pleasure several times per month or once per week.

Q12. Does it cost money to have a pussy slave?
A12. Absolutely not! A legitimate pussy slave never accepts money from a lady. Anyone that accepts or requests money from a lady is not a true pussy slave!

Q13. I have had fantasies about an oral slave, but I have other fantasies too. May I use my pussy slave to realize them?
A13. Yes. Your pussy slave can be used to play out most any fantasy that interests you. Feel free to discuss your fantasies openly with your pussy slave, or write them down and share them. Pussy slave is an excellent role play partner and will gladly participate in most any scene that pleases you. A pussy slave never judges you, and will eagerly discuss any role play scene that makes his lady hot. Even a lady is not always in the mood for a pure pussy slave experience, and your pussy slave is always ready to do whatever his lady is in the mood for, sexual or not. Whether you want to roleplay your favorite sexual fantasies or you want to see the latest chick flick at the movies but don't have anyone to go with, your pussy slave never says no.

Q14. So my pussy slave will do anything I want?
A14. Very likely. Most lady's just want a very talented tongue to give them pleasure, and most will start out using their pussy slave only to give them excellent oral sex. Ladies have commented that using their pussy slave is the first time in their lives they've felt that they were being orally pleasured by someone who really wants to be down there. For many ladies, using their pussy slave to orally pleasure them is all they desire. Other ladies will find that using their pussy slave to realize other fantasies is an ideal way to make them come to life. The lady may not have a partner, or their partner or spouse may be resistant to their non-vanilla ideas, or perhaps they are not sure just how to bring up the topic with their regular partner, while their pussy slave is eager to satisfy most any desire or curiousity they may have. Feel free to discuss your fantasies and desires with your pussy slave openly. Your pussy slave is always eager to learn your fantasies and play them out with you, if you desire it.

Q15. This sounds too good to be true... what's the catch?
A15. There is no catch, the pussy slave is an obedient, fun person that only lives to give pleasure and asks for nothing in return. Once most women experience the freedom of having easy access to a pussy slave and the satisfaction that brings, they realize being a lady is so rewarding that they will want to use their pussy slave over and over again and perhaps even share their newfound satisfaction with their close friends (also see Q10.)

Q16. What if I'm a little shy about this at first? I mean, naked in the daylight with my pussy slave?
A16. Not a problem. You are welcome to blindfold your pussy slave before you undress if you're feeling shy.

Q17. May I still have a part time pussy slave even if I'm married or have a boyfriend?
A17. Yes. You can keep your pussy slave on call and request service via email when you need it. A pussy slave is 100% discreet in all dealings with you.

Q18. What does my pussy slave wear while servicing me?
A18. Anything you desire. Most ladies prefer the pussy slave to be completely naked while servicing them. The visual feedback of seeing a male pussy slave with a full erection is strongly erotic for most ladies, it provides her proof that he finds her body and the act of pleasuring her irresistable. She may tease him verbally, with her hands, whatever pleases her. Other ladies will have their pussy slaves wear shorts or underwear, depending on their liking. Some ladies enjoy humiliating their pussy slaves by having them wear panties or other feminine clothing. This is entirely her choice and the pussy slave simply obeys the wishes and commands of the lady.

Q19. What does a lady wear while being serviced by her pussy slave?
A19. Anything you desire. Most ladies will simply be naked or wear a pair of panties. A few do not like their pussy slaves to see them naked, so they may blindfold him. Most ladies will be comfortable with their pussy slaves and simply completely undress for service, or command their pussy slave to undress them. Some ladies prefer the feeling of control and wish their pussy slave to kneel in front of them while they lift only their skirt or just pull their panties aside. Others will be more comfortable in a silky nightie. The choice is completely up to the lady.

Q20. What about discretion and STD's?
A20. You pussy slave host's in a discreet Eureka location, will never acknowledge you in public. You pussy slave is professional, cleancut businessman. Your pussy slave is respectful of your needs and wishes, mature, safe, clean, attractive, HWP and disease free.



Q1: How do you know your Craigslist ad is too long?
A1: If you include a 20 question-long Q&A in your ad, it may be too long.

Q2: What if the answers are short?
A2: If many of them have more than 4 sentences, they aren't short.

i dont think this works,but im bord. - 32 (arcata)

any ladys wanna do something to day?
im tall dark and handsome .



Bord (n) - Commune in the Canton of Saint-Savinien of the Charente-Maritime department in the Poitou-Charentes region in western France.

Please allow me to guess that you are not 'bord.'

Do you crave the darkness?

Do you crave the darkness of night?
Do you shy away from the light?
Do you watch the world go by…
Are you left with nothing but a sigh…
Do you stare at the moon and dream,
Yet, in your heart you scream…
Left into loneliness and despair,
You accept that life is not fair…
Is your heart turned into stone,
Does the emptiness freeze you to the bone…
Hatred overcoming reason,
Is this all just another season,
Madness is merely a state of mind,
Are we perhaps one in the same kind…
Laughing in insanities abyss,
Tasting a finality of deaths kiss,
Is there salvation from all of this…
Is there something I have missed?
Do I seek your pity or sorrow,
No I just look towards the futility of tomorrow,
Smile and let it all go into the void,
Accept that our souls are devoid,
Of all that we believe is good,
And allow it all to die in this mood,
Laugh one last time as you hear this rhyme,
Allow ignorance to close your eyes one more time.


Thank you, Kentucky, but it's difficult to take you seriously when you use a terrible rhyme scheme.

im kinda drunk - 25 (chicago)

now i love my friends
tonight was fucking awesome
id say more
but im kind adrunk
and people are judgmental
to cut things short
i dream of meeting the woman of my dreams
as i am a hopeless romantic
but to do that
gotta meet as many people as possible
and keep an eopen mind
but that is that
and i do love drinking
and the woman of my dream
smart is the most important
and included in smart
drama free
and doing exactly what you want to be doing with your life
i guess that covers it
also pretty of course
and i think you should be either horribly goofy
or horribly sarcastic and judgemental
having said that
if you are amused by this rant
or think it describes you adequately
you should totally wriet
as i shall check tommorrow
and appreciate having someone to chat with
as i enjoy randomness
that is all for the night
thanks for reading
and happy weekend


Bad poetry? Oh noetry.

I love the classiness of his 'amused by this rant' and 'as i shall check tommorrow.' This might be my new favorite craigslist poem.

Ever touch an electrical fence?

I have the standard 6ft. fence in our backyard, and a few months ago I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city.

To make sure this never happened to me; I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence.
Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground round, drove 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way. It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 gigavolt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.
Time stood still. The first thing I notice is my balls trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain.


Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine. It seems as though the fence charger and the POS lawn mower was fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot crap, pee, and nut at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can’t let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences... but Dad always had those POS chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kind of tickled. This I could not let go of.

The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the perm damp Ark-La-Tex River bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas.

'Damn!' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, jizz, and with my balls on my chest I think 'Oh God please die... pleeeeze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.

So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day he left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created.

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire... I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned. There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot were the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it.
I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire. Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things.

1- Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2- I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).

3- Poop, pee, and semen when all mixed together, do not smell as bad a you might think.

4- My left eye will not open.

5- My right eye will not close.

6- The lawnmower runs like a sumnabitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something because it was better than new after that.

7- My balls are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.

8- I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this?)

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.


So, now that you have been thru all this, are you interested in talking to me more?? I hope so. Let's talk and see what happens!!



Tennessee husbands ftw!

Cutie on ATL to DTW - m4w - 52 (Metro Airport)

You were the cute blond with the designer bag flying from Atlanta to Detroit yesterday evening.

I was well dressed man seated near you. I wanted to approach you, but was traveling this occasion with my wife.

I commute frequently from Atlanta and Detroit for my cardiology practice, and the wife rarely comes with. Will you fly with me next time?


Detroit, you're my favorite craigslist again.

Question??? - 43 (Downriver)

not to be mean what so ever to the big girls but I was just curious as if the were any women 35-45 who were single and not over weight looking for dating?

people are really mean to each other on here and I'm considered a badboy!.....lol...thats funny!!!

not to be mean once again but if a guy can't get a boner for you then he will never know what a wonderful person you are in a romantic way!..As friends we can love you to death...That doesn't give any guy the right to be mean to you on here! And by the way if your a dude under 30 and your on CL then you have no right to bust on any woman on here!

I'm 6ft even, still have abs, kind of a badboy and I'm looking for a person who is in shape and less of a badgirl than she is sweet and nice!

hit me up if your interested in talking!



Things that don't make sense: this poster's brain.

i am looking for a live in girlfriend - m4w

i am a single white male...i would like to find a live in girlfriend...i have my own place all you have to do is move in...i will cover living expenses...you just tend to my needs.....i am open to any race within reason


What races are 'within reason?' Imagine I've just read this aloud, and the following are the reactions of my current roommates, two lawyers in their 30's:

Roommate 1: Maybe he means inter-species? Like, a non-humanoid...that would be unreasonable.
Roommate 2: So what, half-orcs need not apply?


Half-orcs ftw?

Sometimes I think Craigslist has a sense of humor...

Many thanks to Detroit and the Craigslist team for making this moment possible.

COO COO 4 CO CO PUFFS - 350 (making pickles)

Gargoyle seeks friend , tired of waiting to get noticed at the gym ? is society telling you your using to much oxygen ? my story for yours? free dinner? win a free tooth brush and keep your pants on! ok lets get serious here , or not ! as long as you don't flood my toilet, spill your drink, brake my favorite dish , burn a hole in my shirt and lock my cat in the closet, all on the first date.




Seeing how few of you lock cats in bathrooms on the first date after breaking people's favorite dishes and burning holes in their shirts, I'd say you have a real chance with this fella.

Shorty where you at??? - 24

A little bit about me: Physicially I'm 24 yrs old, Blond hair Blue eyes 6'' tall, handsome... with an athletic build. I would say I've lived a very interesting life for someone my age and plan on continuing with my adventures living my life to the best of my ability. I haven't been in a relationship for about 2 years now, and I feel like meeting someone new... someone I don't already know, that's why I'm trying Craigs to see what might come of it. I'm a college graduate, have a successful career, and generally just a good person. If I might be of interest to you, feel free to send me a message and we can get to talking and see whatever else might come from it.



Successful college graduate who lives in Flint, Michigan? I'm skeptical.

Looking...We all are looking sometime - 48 (Columbus / Lagrange)

We are all looking sometime in our life..Just think about it..I am now anyway's. I am
normal and not no junkie on here. I am looking for someone who might be looking
also like me. I am very nice,sweet,polite,and safe to be with. Should any of this interest
you,just reply back and I will get back too you..Hope to hear from some normal people.


After reading those first few sentences, I'm honestly surprised he didn't write, "hope to here from some normal people." Way to exceed my expectations, poster.

Want to have a messy, crying, drooling mini-human together? - 30 (Chicago)

Your eggs aren't getting any fresher!!

Seeking a highly intelligent, liberal-minded sort of woman who is ready to be a responsible parent with me. Bonus points for earth friendly types.

You're ready to geek out over the healthiest stuff to feed the little thing and how to turn him/her into a baby brainiac surrounded by books. You're at a place in your life where you're down with trips to the tot lot, storytimes, and family trips to the zoo.

Obviously you're fairly healthy/active, employed, nonsmoker, hopefully cute and sweet/nurturing/bubbly.

I'm a smart, healthy, clean cut, nice guy type SWM ready to move into dad mode with the right match.

I will reply to all who write a serious, thoughtful reply about possibly starting a family.




Points for knowing the difference between 'you're' and 'your.' Negative points for the whiff of desperation in this ad.

nice, average, and upbeat girl wanted - 27 (tulsa)

hi, i am looking for a girl who is not still angry with her ex, doesnt mind just hanging out, and would like to have a little fun now and then. if this is you get back to me. pictures are welcome all will get a reply



Average? Look no further than Tulsa.