Can You Meet My Specs? - 66 (NC)

I am looking for a Caucasian, single female, 59 years old. Scorpio preferred.

Required physical attributes will be:

5 feet 8 inches plus or minus 1inch

135 to 140 pounds in weight. Entire body must be in balance.

Larger breasts not considered.

Facial skin must be fair with no blemishes.

No facial hair except eyebrows.

Remainder of body must be fair with no varicose veins or blemishes

No piercings other than 1 on each on ear.

No visible tattoos, and only 1 small, discreet tattoo of good taste.

No large feet, oversized hands or big nose.

Hair can be any color, at least shoulder length.

Must stand erect with no slouching.

Must have all your own original teeth.

Must have blue eyes.

Must bathe thoroughly twice daily, with little or no lingering soap odor.

Personal hygiene is a must.

Must be disease free. If you have had an STD test recently, don't reply. Why? Why did you need the test? <<<<<

Must actively attend gym at least 2 hours/day, 3 times a week. Should be able to bench press your own weight.

Required financial status will be: A yearly income of at least $65,000. Own your own home with a 3 car garage, (paid for, no mortgage) on 5 acres or more. Any stocks and bonds are a plus and will be yours alone. No credit card debts. No credit cards.

Must own at least 2 cars less that 2 years old

Required abilities: Must be able to grow food from your own garden, freeze/store them.

Be able to shop for groceries alone, bring them home, and cook. WELL!

Prepare meals from "scratch", all 3 course, breakfast, lunch, and supper/dinner. (On time, daily)

Must be able to bathe, trim, and groom my dogs, as well as feed them timely meals.

Wash and wax automobile(s)

Take care of the laundry situation, folding and putting my things where they belong.

Casual requirements:

Make yourself available to me when I deem it, with no inhibitions.

Bring refreshments, etc. when I ask. You must live within walking distance of my home

Be able to tolerate a smoking, drinking, demanding, son of a bitch like me.



Well, Mr.66-year-old male presenting absolutely no personal information about yourself, you are a hard man to please. Points for honesty, or at least being self-aware enough to know that you are a 'demanding son of a bitch.' I think admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery, so this would be super great if you were admitting it's a problem, which you're not.

COO COO 4 CO CO PUFFS - 350 (making pickles)

Gargoyle seeks friend , tired of waiting to get noticed at the gym ? is society telling you your using to much oxygen ? my story for yours? free dinner? win a free tooth brush and keep your pants on! ok lets get serious here , or not ! as long as you don't flood my toilet, spill your drink, brake my favorite dish , burn a hole in my shirt and lock my cat in the closet, all on the first date.




Seeing how few of you lock cats in bathrooms on the first date after breaking people's favorite dishes and burning holes in their shirts, I'd say you have a real chance with this fella.

Don't worry, you're vagina is safe from me...for now;-)

At ease ladies. i know that you all think guys just want the booty (and we do) but all I'm looking for is someone to go to the movies with me so I don't keep looking like a freakin' square trying to watch movies like Wolverine by myself. i mean, damned, i'm a grown ass man, why am I watching kiddie movies...gotta put that one to the therapist. Anyway, in true CL fashion, I'll list the do's and don't below when responding to this fodder....

Do:

Have a sense of humor
Be willing to talk shit during the movie if it sucks
Let me pay for it since I pretend to be a gentleman sometimes
Wear something that's neither for church nor a fashion show
Be willing to stop at a porn store afterwards so that I can return some videos (something I find my self doing too often)


Don't:
Be a man (I will kick your hairy ass)
Be giant. I love tall women, I love short women, I don't love women who look like one of the Klumps
Be pretentious. If you want to see some crap like the Travelling Pants, I will vomit on yours.
Ask me if I still have all my teeth just because I'm a fighter. yes, I have them all...and never had a cavity either;-)
Spray me with mace if I try to hug you after the movie. It would be a friendly, genitalia apart type hug anyway.

That is all. Oh, and the thing about the fatties need not apply...I only say this because I don't want to have to pay for three seats...LOL!!! Ok, ok, I'm a dick;-)


FYI, anyone who wants to watch the 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' probably isn't too pretentious.
PS - is 'Wolverine' a kiddie movie? Maybe he means 'Up.'