Top 50 reasons to date me - 32 (Grand Rapids)

TOP FIFTY REASONS TO DATE ME

Hello! Are you a reasonably attractive, physically fit female aged 23-33, residing in the Grand Rapids area? Then I have a deal for you!

One adult human male -- a prime specimen -- is now available for your every pleasure. In no particular order, herewith the top 50 reasons why I'm such a great catch:

1. Very low maintenance and zero drama.
2. Manners? I always hold the door and can even differentiate tableware.
3. I actually listen when people talk to me. Even women, and even when they use "the voice."
4. I'm not pushy, especially with regard to physical intimacy. What happens, happens.
5. Going to an out-of-the-way ethnic restaurant or upscale dining establishment is usually preferable to the same-old chain stuff.
6. I go to the gym regularly, mostly to run.
7. I'll give you a hug and wipe your tears when you need to cry.
8. I dance like an epileptic cat being beaten with an electric cattle prod, but that doesn't stop me from trying.
9. I'm 32, 5'10", about 170 lbs., with brown hair, greenish eyes, and a dignified Roman nose.
10. What, me, sarcastic? Perish the thought. I'm more of a "dry wit" or "bad pun" sort of fellow.
11. I never, never, never use personal preferences as a wedge in a relationship.
12. A good Catholic boy, I go to church on Sunday and even volunteer in various liturgical ministries for my home parish and for the diocese.
13. A goal for this winter -- to actually finish the novel I've got half-written.
14. No drugs, no diseases, no smoking. Almost never drink to excess. Oh, and wine > beer.
15. Seriously, packing up for a spontaneous three-day trip, with no itinerary, rocks.
16. I actually ENJOY talking about our relationship. It keeps things on an even keel and avoids the need for volcanic eruptions of misplaced anger or the pain of mismatched expectations.
17. Perfection: Sitting at the end of the pier in Grand Haven, watching the sun set over Lake Michigan, wrapped in silent embrace.
18. I shower, religiously.
19. Sports ... I'd rather DO than WATCH. So don't bore me with the minutiae of sports stats.
20. I drive aggressively, except when it freaks you out. Then I'll just give you a blindfold. I do, after all, have a perfect safety record on the road. So stop whining and hold on.
21. I cook. I bake. I clean. Except, I have a visceral hatred for laundry, for some reason.
22. No tats or piercings, although I'm opposed to neither.
23. I fix things.
24. I'm my own person, and expect that you are, too. Codependency blows.
25. Animals ... I grew up with dogs, cats, birds, fish, horses -- and like them all. Even snakes and tarantulas, although I don't have any. That nothwithstanding, I don't really understand the point of small dogs.
26. Staying current on the news is important to me. See #35 for rationale.
27. If an evildoer attempts to thwart you, I'll use my martial-arts skills to save the day. Unless, of course, you prefer to kick his ass yourself. Which would be *way* sexy.
28. Emotional intimacy turns me on. Healthy emotional intimacy drives me wild.
29. I'm in perfect physical health.
30. Logic and rationality are my bread and butter.
31. Pair-bonding is significant. I'll always, ALWAYS have your back. No exceptions. Ever.
32. Not only am I an ethical person, but I have an honest-to-goodness college degree in moral philosophy.
33. I won't screen your calls just because I'm busy. Only if I have my ringer off. Which happens a lot. Sorry!
34. I like children and want some of my own.
35. Meaningful conversation is the highest form of casual human social activity, so I try to keep in practice.
36. I understand that sustained, gentle touching to places other than the genitals is almost always more erotic than just throwing it in for 3.5 minutes and falling asleep. And no, I'm not a 3.5-minute wonder.
37. Yes, I actually ENJOY the symphony, ballet, shows, museums, and other sources of culture and high art. Honest. In fact, I prefer them to the same-old bar/club scene.
38. I sorta play the piano. I even sing (albeit like an American Idol day-one reject).
39. By the time I turn 40, I will have visited every continent at least once. Perhaps even Antarctica.
40. I work as a health-care statistician by day, and as a freelance writer by night. Unfortunately, neither job supplies me with a cool superhero uniform.
41. You have male friends? Cool. I have female friends (several close ones, in fact).
42. Mediocrity and risk aversion bore me.
43. I read frequently. And write frequently. Fluently, in English, and not-so-fluently, in Latin. And I'm something of a grammar nazi, but I try not to be too annoying about it.
44. Yes, I really am secure in my manhood. I've dated some very beautiful and smart women in my time, and it usually ends quite amicably. Oh, and I'm bisexual, and have dated some phenomenal men, too. I know who I am, and what I'm worth, and am in no mood to settle.
45. I actually notice when you do something different with your hair.
46. I leave big tips and round to the nearest dollar. Seriously ... leaving coin for the server? Lame.
47. Sending flowers to your office for no formal reason makes me happy.
48. I blog for fun.
49. I feel funny when I can't hold your bags while shopping.
50. You appreciate and understand that the inflated self-importance on display in this ad is merely a tactic designed to differentiate me from the unimaginative, boring guys here, and is in no way a true reflection of the actual size of my ego.

Hurry, supplies are limited -- grab me while I'm still available! Limited manufacturer's warranty available for a small extra charge. Satisfaction guaranteed or the first date is free.