Wanna make some quick cash? - 26 (Ithaca)

Looking for 19-35 y/o beautiful women who want to make some quick and easy cash taking pictures of their tongues and mouths. No physical contact or real-life meeting necessary. Must have digital camera, paypal, and internet. Please provide sample photo of face and tongue when applying.



Note to self: if I prove to be completely unemployable, there is always tongue modeling.

Posting Title: - 24 (CMU)

My parents just separated and my dog just died so
I’m kinda lonely but extremely strong and have so much going for me.
I could really use a good girl to help me out.

This is my myspace url It’s dedicated to my dog right now but add me and we can get to know each other

myspace.com/tystik989

Broke assed limp *ick burnt out dead beat stoner seeks Hippie chick (ada)

Please reply with photo and brief description. I'll get back to you if I think there's chemistery.


At least this dead beat, burnt out broke guy with a limp dick cuts right to the point: please be hot. If I'm interested in trying to get it up for you, then I'll let you know.

fleshy ape man seeks woman for freindship - 24 (cdale)

i am a timid revolutionary, pot-headed, pascifist, truth seeking, human-mutant, angel of light raised by demon spawn . i f any women are interested in knowing more , thats why i wrote this, of course, lets talk. id just like a friend, i want more but will not ask for it. ive found meaningles sex is meaningles sex, and that is not for me.
i have trouble meeting people face to face, but here i can type at my own speed.
the kind of woman i want to talk to is the one who read this whole post and are not turned off by my obvious shortcommings. and is willing to show a lunatic love.
good luck finding love

I'm a student of love. lady's please don't be afraid - 36 (Anchorage)

Greetings, my name is Timothy, but you will be calling be Tim, as all my friends do. The pictures I have posted are not my best, but they do reveal more of the inner me. Slow and deliberate, contemplative.....then just seeing where Life's journey take's us....oh, did I say, "us"?
I can tell you little that's more important than I am a gentleman. You know, old school movie hero-type, a simple man with a big heart. I'll watch sports or movies and listen to music but never to the detriment of my relationship; I'm what one would call "a student of Life" (gleaning a new gem of knowlege or wisdom from each chapter, journey or adventure along the way). If that appeals to you, don't hesitate to contact me. I would love to hear from you, But if you choose to respond please send a pic. I have more, much better ones and, to be fair, we're all human and do base some of our feelings on the reaction we get when we see someone's face.
I am eager to greet yours,
Thank you for reading,
Tim ps I'm very lonly



Special follow up, courtesy of someone else in Alaska:

Hey Student of Love

Dude, do you have any clue as to the entertainment you're providing? I'm embarrassed for you. Admittedly, I'm new to the classifieds, but have read enough of them to literally laugh out loud for a couple of minutes after reading yours! Keep them coming!

I agree anonymous Alaskan poster, I agree.

Board during winter break - 23 (Mankato)

Winter break is so boaring when all your friends go home for the hollidays. I am looking for someone to hang out with and just have a good time. A little about me is that I'm 6'1", athletic build, brown hair and eyes. I would consider myself smart, funny, and overall like to have a good time. If getting together to just hang out sounds like fun or would like to talk then send an email to learn more. (oh and yes I am just that board to post on craigs list)


If he thinks he is "board," I would guess that he is not in fact, "smart." Related: if you think you are [a] board, you should probably see a doctor as soon as possible, particularly that of the psychiatric variety.

Will you be my mommy or daddy? (Spring Lake)

I am a 18 year old male who likes being treated like a baby, diapers and all. Im just looking for someone to treat me like such.


I found this gem under missed connections.

looking 4 you,no fat girls,just real wemen - 22 (muskegon)

I ma young sexy father. Just moved here to meet new girls


How could such a short ad go so wrong?

The Laws of Attraction bring You to Me..seeking spiritual girl - 45 (East Town GR)

Seeking a girl with cool new age laws of attraction spiritual beliefs. The kind of girl that had read, "The Secret."
Must be fit, slim and attractive.
Send a pic in your first email

and we will get together and talk QUANTUM PHYSICS! AND the power of POSITIVE THINKING!


Folks, here we have the repeat offender. To be clear, he has been posting as long as we have been craigslisting. This is his first notable post because he cites the Secret in his ad. What is a bigger turn off? Oh yes, it is continuing to post pictures that you took using your mac, while professing to be an attractive artist.

I am Jack Bauer - 25 (Grand Rapids)

I am Jack Bauer, minus the excessive rage, violent impulses, anti social behavior, ability to fight terrorists, ability to not use the bathroom for 24 hours, and general apperance. If your like "Jack bauer who", you should hit the back button right now and go out and rent, nay, purchase the best show on tv. So....craigs list......does this make me a loser now? No more so than you i suppose (lol not in a mean way but.......i don't know.....forget it i guess). Okay to the point, so i guess i got most of my sh*t together, got the degree, got a car, got a job, got a place, got a couple cats (two isn't strange....right?), and consider my self a decent individual. I have blue eyes, dark blond hair, pierced ears, stay pretty clean cut and am in decent shape. hmmm what should you be?........like me but not.......i guess i want a free spirited kinda girl.....oh oh oh...you must be pretty......and are generally a happy person........if you dislike cinima or like ohio state (well if your really pretty you can like ohio state i guess)don't bother to apply. Oh okay this may be pertanent, i like to smoke and the other kind of smoke, oh and i have a big flat beautiful TV. okay well i hope i came off okay. Anyway send a pic my way and ill send you one back (provided i don't like work with you or anything). Take Care!


I added the picture. I could not help myself. Also, cinima? Really?

Sympathy Sex? - 22

hey, im border line depressed right now. i know if i get some from a decent looking girl itll uplift my spirits. i am home alone and in need to bone a chick

anygirls interested? theres plenty in it for u : )

My interest in the poster went up exponentially once I found out there was plenty in "it" for me. In the future, I suggest that he cut to the chase and simply post "pity fuck?"

Guy seeks hot chick with genital herpes - 34 (Kalamazoo)

Yeah, you read it right. While you are laughing, please tell all your friends about my ad, because I am sure at least one of them has herpes.

ME: 5'9", 165, blonde/blue, decent looking, several offensive and/or creepy tattoos. Likes: Rock n roll music (mostly punk and 60s-70s rock), horror movies, and stuff like that.

YOU: Similar interests of course. Same age or younger than me, outta my league looks-wise, and willing to settle for a guy your parents probably won't like very much.


Brady: Bike night!
Lauren: Husband?

Let's get it on before the Yellowstone supervolcano ends the world. - 24

Way I see it, 2009 is the year the world ends. War, seismic activity at a volcano large enough to create an extinction level event. Black president.

All the signs are there.

I'm not actually racist, but I don't care if you are. Hell, about all I care about is that you're also a willing participant and relatively easy on the eyes.

Come and get it before it's burned to a crisp then frozen in a nuclear winter.

My girlfriend is mean. - 23 (Mpls)

Hey i posted yesterday saying that my girlfriend treats me like shit and i want to meet some one new. I havnt gotten alot of response but a few and havnt really clicked with anyone yet. So if you wanna know more about me send me an email. Im 23, have a car, job, and home. Blonde hair blue eyes, 160lbs 5'10 i do have pics.

women please read before responding - 29 (ERIE)

Hello, my name is Rico.I am from New Jersey. I am 29 years old single no kids. I am a model/Actor. Yes, i do that fulltime sotherefore that is my profession. I know all of you women may say "what in the world is he doing on criaglist". That is a very good question. I have no clue. I am sitting here on a sunny afternoon in my house just chilling. I am a layback kinda of guy. I like to play bingo, bowling, watch a t.v.; lockout extended stay, saop operas, watch sports, laugh etc.. I enjoy working out and just taking care of my body. Our bodies our very precious and what you put in them is what you are going to get out of them. No it isn't easy nor cheap to keep your body up to par but well... that is another subject. What i look for is very simple, a mature woman wether she is younger than me or older just a mature woman that knows what she wants. A woman that is not up for the games and not a woman that is trying to think that she is very clever because it wont work-out to well. Just looking for a woman that desires to be treated like a woman. I been on criaglist for approximately 1 month and i have not found a woman that is ready to actually settle down they say they are but when they meet me there like ummmh!!! like this isn't legit. Something gotta be wrong with this guy he can't be this good to me. Yes, i been on 3 dates and let's say that i will leave those lines blank but i assure you that if you ask any of them about me they will say he is forreal. He is the same man that is on craiglist they will say. "Yes" he is. So the question is why am i still single and what i am still doing on criaglist! Well, i am still on criaglist because there is still a void. I believe that everything is a process. Nothing happens overnight you have to be patient and understanding. which is cool. but please do not say to me Rico, I read your ad and i was feeling it than after that you start playing the mind games because i am not with it. Trust me on that. I will tell you thanks but no thanks. I am not trying to make this a competition nor nothing like that. I always say that i rather take a girl who works at a mcdonalds and take the bus and train everywhere. than a great that works on wallstreet and drives a benz or rangerover. I am not materialistic just want somebody who will respect me and cherish me as i am somebody. Looks yes is a plus but for me not the whole package.I am down to earth!!! My goals and determinations. Let's say that i will be in paramount one day and you will be seeing me on the big screens saying mann, i had an opporutnity to be with that Guy but.... very very soon!!! I will not give up. the devil has been trying to discourage me and break me down but i wont give in nor give up. I came to far to do that. Yes, i date women with kids etc.. but no drama. No stress. Race is not important. nope not at all. just as long as you cherish me and treat me like i am somebody. p.s. Please send a fullbody pic or i will not respond to your email quevolahabana2005 at yahoo dot com Sincerely: Rico


Judging by the pictures he posted, I would guess that he is neither a model nor an actor. Also, I'm not clear on what a "great" is. Apparently they work on Wall Street, and they prefer to own cars like Rangerovers or a Mercedes Benz. If you have any information concerning the definition of a "great," please let me know. I would appreciate any/all insights.