Are You a SEXY RETARD or Have Developmental Issues?? - 34 (Suburbs)

Hi,

I am not retarded nor dumb and stupid like a retard; I actually graduated from college with honors and distinction. I have never dated anyone mentally challenged but woke up today and thought to myself, as long as she looks good, who cares what her cognitive thinking abilities are? Women should be seen not heard, right? If you have a thin slender body, firm breasts, and a tight ass I don't care what your IQ is. As a matter of fact the dumber you are the more turned on I will be.

I am after a woman that looks good and will let me have my way with her, someone that will not question me if I come home at 3:30 in the morning with lipstick on my collar. If you have a little palsy in you, you get bonus points. I suppose my only hang up is you can't be a drooler; I have to draw the line somewhere. If you are intrigued, write I AM YOUR RETARD in the subject line and send me your pic. If I think you have the "goods" I will respond with my pic.



Hi,

FYI: you aren't even close to funny enough to be as offensive as Sarah Silverman and get away with it. You are a pretty shitty human being. Thanks for letting us all know on the internet. Apparently, you are 34 years old, which I'm pretty sure means you should grow the fuck up.

PS: Meet your boyfriend.

Wow guys. I think Husband? just came full circle jerk.

After I CUM I am not DONE! - 34 (Downtown Fresno)

I am a romantic young gentleman and poetry is to me a skill
By just seeing you in person I can make wet with thrill
I do not need a pen or paper to express to you what I see
Just the words from my mouth will make you want to feel the sight of me
I also never stop from evening until later past the morning dawn
I will Cum a few times but I will not say thank you and be gone
I will Give you oral sex with my rather think tongue
and then I will be hard again and inside you again I'll be sprung
I love the position of you riding me and you'll be surprised at what I can do
while your riding my think penis I can lift my pelvis inside of you
I will feel like a pole you are riding and for hours you can ride
and I know this is NSA but if you want more of me I can be open to be TIED

I do not have a credit card or a checking account so I can not join a site that needs that for age check, But I will give you any information so you can see I am a very legal decent guy that is 34 I work downtown Fresno and live in downtown also. I hope I will hear from a woman because I am so bored and sad now.

I spent 20 minutes trying to write a response poem to the poster telling him where he went wrong, but every time I tried I ended up with this:

STOP.

It's been said before but: bad poetry? Oh noetry! People, stop before your god-awful "poetry" hurts someone you would like to love in the future, NSA, TIED, or otherwise.

Fairly unrelated: how does a 34-year-old man live, work, and survive without any type of bank account? I'm not sure whether or not that's a feat, and thus something I should be impressed with by default.

I want to be a cookie monster tonight - 53 (SW Austin)

I love to eat cookies and am actually quite good at the pleasure. Let's meet for HH and go from there.Your pic gets mine. SXSW is over , rained earlier , nice out now & 80 degrees.

80 degrees? Seriously? Austin, Texas looks better to me all the time. Unrelated: Sesame Street references are a terrible way to get into anyone's pants, unless they're a child. STOP.

looking 4 you,no fat girls,just real wemen - 22 (muskegon)

I ma young sexy father. Just moved here to meet new girls


How could such a short ad go so wrong?