READwithOUTjudgment; thatsALLiASKatTHEmomentMAYBEweCANbe.... (**LTRliveTOGETHERchildren?**)

************************************(ALL (WE) CAN TAKE WITH US WHEN WE (DIE) IS OUR ""WORKS"")**********************************IF YOU BELIEVE READING 5 LINES IS ENOUGH TO DISCERN OR HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION TO DECIDE TO RESPOND TO A PERSONALS AD; PLEEEEZE...(STOP HERE) AND MOVE TO THE NEXT AD.


*********IT REALLY AMAZES ME READING ADS FROM BOTH GENDERS HOW SHALLOW AND NARROW THE FOCUS ON SUCH TRIVIAL ISSUES***********
***I understand that i don't leave much to desire as to my circumstances but believe me I DO HAVE POTENTIAL IN MANY AREAS THAT WOULD BE BENEFICIAL IN YOUR LIFE***
*I still receive judgmental responses, Lot's of people out there have a better than you attitude all i can say is there loss for not be open to understanding, compromise, and LOVE AGAIN.*
*******************************"JUDGE" (NOT) LESS YEE BE "JUDGED"***************************DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DISCERNING AND JUDGING?? PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME BEFORE GIVING (ME) THE OPPORTUNITY TO REVEAL WHAT I AM ALL ABOUT AND WHAT I CAN BE FOR A SPECIAL WOMAN.

*****************I have had offers, but just because they would consider me doesn't mean i will just come to you...YES; It is true. *****************

**JUST A BRIEF VISION FOR YOU, I HAD BEEN TAKING CARE OF MY (ONE) AND ONLY PARENT SINCE 1989, AND HE PASSED AWAY**IT HAS AFFECTED ME PROFOUNDLY**though i believe he's in a better place, This woman i seek has to be compassionate and willing to be there always (I PROMISE I WOULD BE THERE ALSO) REMEMBER THIS STATEMENT.
I understand (we) have others in our live's ..maybe I am searching for something I may not ever find, LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP, LIVI'N TOGETHER, MARRIAGE..BUSINESS TOGETHER...CAN YOU FILL IN THE BLANK?___________________________. (to build or add another child to family) NOT A DEAL BREAKER, ONLY GOD KNOWS IF IT WILL HAPPEN
ARE YOU WILLING TO LISTEN?
****MY DAUGHTERS MOTHER DIDN'T GIVE ME THE OPTION TO BE A PART OF MY DAUGHTERS LIFE (YES; NO OPTION)..Looong story and i won't get into that here****
I WANT TO FIND SOMEONE THAT I CAN TRAVEL, LOVE, HELP IN BUSINESS, DO THINGS WITH...COMPANIONSHIP AT HOME ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES.......... "LIVING".



YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHAT I HAVE ENDURED UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO READ...

I am seeking a Looooooong term relationship...Yes, That's right: WHAT MANY WOMEN THINK MEN DON'T TAKE SERIOUSLY.



But I come not in the best circumstances...Just being honest here, Think there's many out here that you can say that about? You don't have to belive this next statement but it is true.......... I have had quite a few respondent's that could or would like to bring me into there life but many times let there fears and insecurrities OVERCOME WHAT COULD BE LONG TERM ""HAPPINESS"".

**** IF (WE) LET OUR PAST DICTATE (OUR) FUTURE (WE) CAN CONTINUE SCRATCHING OUR HEADS AT ALL THE SHALLOWNESS OUT IN THIS WORLD****

BUT WHAT DO YOU LOOOSE, 15 MINUTES OF YOUR TIME?



Let me reveal some of the good qualities first:



(NO) CRIMINAL RECORD, (NO) DUI'S..........FAITHFULL,ROMANTIC,THOUGHTFULL,COMPASIONATE,HONEST TO A FAULT..AND YES; SOMETIMES IT CAN BE PAINFULL....YES; MY OPENESS LEAVES A LOT OF ROOM FOR JUDGMENT....Soooooo, whos perfect out there????



(NO) ALCOHOL DEPENDENCY (EVER) IF YOU HAVE AN ALCOHOL DEPENDENCY LEAVE ME ALONE!....(DEPENDENCY) THE (KEY) WORD HERE.....(everything in moderation).



INTELLIGENT?..Well, I was self employed for many years...was and hope to be again.



Just a few of my good qualities.



My current circumstances don't lend to anyone wanting to consider me..But I have to state these to be open so you can decide if (you) can balance (me) into your life..and or your family, IF THAT APPLIES.

If your in a better place than me today and think that by revealing this to me will shine a good light on you (you could be sorely mistaken) I want to "LOVE" & be "LOVED" Thats what i feel is most important!!

I am on welfare for the first time in my life....

I am working the stock market at a very small scale but I have learned much, Many lost money last year, but quite a few made a lot of money on this rebound (I could have benefited had i had capital to work with) Yeap! water under the bridge, I know!

I was placed on medical disability for 1 yr, But by no means I am incapacitated...Too much to discuss here and I won't since it's a public forum ( I can and will contribute) SMALL INCOME.

I am seeking a compasionate woman, that doesn't judge outright, with out having all the facts...Wishfull thinking??


If you read my profile you will understand what I mean...about judgments ( what i don't understand ) How do they get to my profile since there are so many dealbreakers here?

I have my resume that can give you an understanding about what I can bring to the table, I have good marketing skills.

I will send you (my profile) that I have written for just one purpose...MY RESUME IF YOU SO DESIRE LATER, I want you to have a good amount of information..So you can consider the posibilities of me being a part of your life.

TO FIND A SPECIAL WOMAN THAT WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT I HAVE ENDURED RECENTLY AND WHY I AM AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE...



A WOMAN THAT WILL WORK WITH ME AS I ENHANCE (HER) LIFE...I AM NOT SEEKING PITY OR A FREE RIDE, CLEANLINESS, OPTIMISM, LOYAL, COMPASSIONATE ALL GOOD ABOUT YOU & CERTAINLY ABOUT ME.

ONLY REAL WAY YOU CAN CONSIDER THIS IS IF YOU ASK ME TO SEND IT TO YOU...AND JUST TO EASE YOUR COMMITMENT CONCERNS.

YOUR UNDER (NO) OBLIGATION TO RESPOND BACK AFTER YOU RECEIVE IT...( my profile).

I was born in Florida... I'm in Wisconsin now ( WILLING to relocate with the """""RIGHT"""" woman) I believe the distance will allow for a slower pace with out the pressures, I am easy to talk to and am all that i portray... hopefully you love boating and if you have children boating can be good family fun too (why Grand Rapids? I just revealed to you that I love boating! Not to far from the lake, right? I bet you would like to read about my vision on a houseboat on the lake.....


Again I am seeking a loooooong term relationship, But I understand that I may not be what you seek, I believe in marriage but understand that (our) circumstances may prevent that from being considered.



But I believe (we) can make our (own) vows..and it can be special..This is down the road of course.

I WOULD LIKE TO BE WITH SOMEONE IN A HAPPY, LOVING ENVIROMENT**(HOPEFULLY LIVING TOGETHER)** BEFORE SUMMER...( I HOPE YOU SHARE THIS GOAL) IF YOU ARE WILLING TO READ MORE THEN YOU CAN DECIDE IF I MAKE UP FOR ALL THIS COMPLICATIONS AND CAN ENHANCE YOUR LIFE AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.....I know naive.

ALL I ASK IF YOUR DOWN TO THIS LINE IS PLEASE....GO BACK AND READ ALL OF THIS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING AS WELL AS FOR THE SAKE OF FIRST IMPRESSIONS IF YOU DO DECIDE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT ME (every word,large or small in parenthesis has meaning behind it (think there's many you can believe in?).

THANKS FOR YOUR TIME AND CONSIDERATION.

ROBERT.

Ps Yes; That's me in on the left, about 6 month's ago..Though my hair is longer as on the right, I am (47 yo) by the way..Guess that could be important for you to know.


Yes; I know the dog is cute'..er than me, But she won't be comming with me...Loong story.
( I REALLY HAVEN'T HAD MUCH TO SMILE ABOUT LATELY).

Yes; I am an animal lover..all.



If this ad were shorter, I'd have things to say about it. As is, it's just TOO MUCH. I can however, promise that the pictures that accompanied it were a complete delight.

Redneck Seeking Cane Pole Queen - 41 (Austin)

If you don't know about Cane Poles, fishing with Cheetos, Beanie Weenies. If you don't have an Aunt that fishes with Big Red, then where you been?
Do you know what a minna is?
What is the daily bag limitt of Crappie?
How do you bribe a Game Warden?
What is the other use of a telephone?
What works better than WD 40 on a dry fishing reel?


Psycho women stay away! Russian Brides Stay Away! If you are in Nigeria and have money you want to wire me. Go ahead. I may call you back after I spend it all to make sure it is real. So with all the scams aside!
Don't ask me to join a stupid website or join some special adult chat
group to see your photos. I am a real man I already have a vivid
imagination.

Now if you have a fishing website or chat forum that tells me about
new fishing holes or techniques, I am interested.

If your only communication skills are text messaging then it won't
work out for us. You will wind up killing me. I drive a lot and it
messes me up trying to eat a bbq sandwich, drinking coffee and driving
70MPH. When I text the Yellow Line becomes a blur and I don't know
what kind of road kill I just drove over.

I might even miss the snake in the road. That is important. It is
mandatory for me to jam my brakes and go back and make sure I got the
snake. A snake in the road requires absolute and immediate action,
especially a rattle snake in the road. It doesn't matter if you have
to block traffic you have to do U-turn after U turn to run him over
till he stops moving.

Right now the best thing to to is put the dead snake on the nearest
fence. It is supposed to bring rain. So put all the snakes you can
on the fences across the area. In case it is a rattlesnake or copper
head make sure the head is off, don't assume any liability for your
actions.

Back to the mesage.

The only friends with benefits situation I am looking for is if you
have an extra $25 or $50 Academy Surplus, or Cabellas gift certificate
burning a whole in your pocket that would be a dream come true.

If you see some rods and reels on sale or at a garage sell you are
welcome to text alert me or dial me in 911 speed.

Don't respond if, you are pyscho, stuck in Nigeria, Albania, England or BFE.

My name is James, for real. I am 41 years old, 6 foot 3 inches tall,
235 pounds or so depending on how much bbq I have eaten. Brown Hair,
Hazel eyes.

I am really nice guy looking for a real woman.

Not looking for the following:
I am not looking for a Russian Bride, I am not looking for a woman
stuck in Nigeria or England looking for money to come to the US.
Basically if your stuck in some other country do what my ancestors
did, save you money and get your own boat ride over here.

I am looking for:

Looking for a real woman who can appreciate a real man. You won't
change me but you might be able to tame me.

No nagging women. No women who are going to call me at 5:35PM and ask
why I am still working. No abusive women. No psychos, please. Been
there done that.

What I have to offer: I will ask you how was your day and I will turn
the TV off and listen. I will wash your car, I will give you a neck
and back massage. I will cook for you occasionally or maybe a lot. I
would rather chase a good cook around the kitchen. I will hold your
hair back when you vomit.

So lets meet for coffee or a Sonic Burger to start. I can go from BBQ
all the way to Tofu at a vegetarian restaurant. Very versatile. If
your lucky someday I will whip up a home cooked meal for you and
massage your feet and ask how your day was.

I can talk for hours and hours and listen. Some women have accused me
of have a secret woman inside or me in regards to this. At the same
time I am a guys in all facets. I stink like a guys, sweat like a guy
and have the urges of a guy. I gladly leave the toilet set up for a
bigger target. Too much energy wasted on raising and lowering the
toilet. So if we work out I probably need my own toilet at some point
or a great tree in the back yard is even better. It is all about
going green and water conservation.

Finally the most important test. No woman worth marrying will have
less than 15% of her bridal selections at Academy Surplus.

James




Woah there, James! That's a lot of words. I can only assume that the bit at the top is some sort of special Redneck code, like 4-trackin. If so, congrats, you've weeded me out of your pool of potential mates. There's a lot here, but I've bolded some of my favorite bits. Call me, James. You're really not that bad, but damn, you're a winner.

Just your average joe..with a slight case of nuttiness! - 33

The names abilio people just call me bill , let me tell you about myself, im a goofy creative person who comes up with corny ideas like this one I thought up, remember that old Reeses commercial “How do you eat your Reeses”? Well I came up with my own tv ad for it . Have Reese Witherspoon(the actress) holding a large spoon and then say,¨ How do you eat your Reeses?Witherspoon¨ Get it !! well I told you it was corny lol. Anyways my other goofy idea which is much better and if I have the time I would like to get it published is my own cartoon, I call it Violent Violet the Crayon gone bad. It’s a cross between the sopranos and flinstones .You see in my cartoon emotions represent the colors of the crayons I have characters such as green envy ,purple passion(violent violets girlfriend) anger management(hes the red crayon) etc. My first episode is titled dare to draw first blood.

Heres a joke I created ,¨ what did judge judy say after screwing the jury?” It¦s a well-hung jury” stupid.

Okay heres another . I work in a pharmacy so one day I was asked to do a delivery for mr. Johnson. So I grabbed his prescriptions and headed down to his apartment. I knocked on his door and a 70-year old senior citizen answers the door ,”Mr.Johnson” I say,”heres your prescriptions¨ Mr.Johnson replies , thanks sonny boy¨ he grabs the bag peeks in the bag and says,¨ hey young man wheres my Viagra prescription?,cant you people do anything right, Hows a guy like myself suppose to do for fun besides playing bingo and doing crosswords all day? So I say ,¨ Sorry about that Mr.Johnson , no hard feelings tonight¨ laugh track here . Some more one liners that I invented,¨ I had sex only once,and that¦s because I believed that old saying my parents use to tell me,¨ If you do it right the first time you don¦t have to come and do it over again.¨ Also I came up with some ideas for t-shirts, remember the hamburger helper commercial that had the little talking hand , well put him on a blank t-shirt and have the saying,¨ never bite the hand that¦s feed’s you¨ another idea is just to have this saying on a t-shirt,¨ Im anal retentive, in other words Im a perfect asshole!!!!. Heres some more old jokes that need work anyways here it goes, “ I’m going to write a book on famous people who use Viagra…It’s going to be a pop-up book!!!!. Ever hear about the girl with the big nose?.. her nose was so big, she was giving blowjob’s sideways. Hey whats the worst feeling a woman can have?... She’s about the have the best orgasm of her life and all of a sudden the batteries go dead. Heres one that I need to seriously rework hey some people like it,”

Hey did you know a sex toy company is coming out with a twisted version of play-doh?.. Its called play-dildoh. Hey heres a real put down you can use if people ever make fun of how you look,” hey my dog gets more compliments from men/women than you do! .. heres one last one , an elderly couple are at the museum , they come up to the statue of david, and the wife starts admiring it, saying how lovely and great it is.. well the husband starts getting jealous because his wife seems to be giving more attention and compliments to the statue than he has everhad had from his wife , so he says” So whats so great about the statue?.. whats it got that I don’t have?”.. the wife replies with a grin on her face,” For one thing hes always hard!!”.. also I don’t know if I thought of this before but heres another idea for tootsie rolls pop commercial, have someone sucking on a tootsie roll pop and then say,” theres a sucker born ever minute… on a toostsie roll pop. “if a priest commits a crime ,is it considered a white collar crime?”. If a person in a wheelchair does a comedy routine, is it still stand up?”. Okay I know I should keep my day job, but hey I tried my best to okay now to the serious stuff.

Besides being a weird little man(im 5 10, 180 lbs) Im also a very flexible person who doesnt mind horseback riding, going to the aquarium/museum,the opera, staying at home watching a movie , playing chess or board games. hoping to meet someone who always keeps an open mind to whatever crazy idea that i come up with. i like doing a lot of things, as i believe everything new that i learn , will only make me a better person and less ignorant. i like working out ,chess, cooking,flying,reading,ufc,watching old tv shows etc. of course im always looking for new things to try, i love the knowledge and experience that comes with trying something new. hey maybe you can teach something new and i can teach you something new.

Im a thoughtful person who always thinks of others before himself. If I was in a relationship and I was reading the Sunday paper and happened to stumble upon a coupon for my partners favorite make-up , I would cut it out attach it to a sticky note and write,¨ thought I would save you money babe¨ and put it in her purse.I guess I get satisfaction in helping others without getting anything in return. That feeling that you get from making someone happy , is worth more to me than money or any material goods.I also take pleasure in cheering people up, hey if my partner had a bad day or feeling under the weather, i would probably give her a nice massage and feed her fresh strawberries dipped in hot dark chocolate. Money and material possessions are fleeting but the lasting memory of helping or making someone feel better is forever. I think honesty is my best trait, being honest is so much easier, why go to the trouble of lying, when in the end it catches up with you. What ive just said is charming but means nothing if I cant put it to action. I rather do than talk, here’s an example for ya ladies: would you rather date a guy who can charm you too death but does not keep his words.. basically he’s all talk and no action or would you rather date a mime. Sure you’ll have communication problems in a relationship with a mime , but at least his actions speak louder than his words.( bad joke I know just trying to make a point). Anyone can talk but Few keep their words, I really hate people like that.

I’m also a type of person who likes to keep things fresh. I like to keep my partner on their tip toes. I like to keep them guessing on what I’m going to do next. One of the secrets to a good relationship is not to let it get stale. Many couples fall into a routine,doing the same thing’s over and over again. It’s like at the beginning the guy does everything he can to get the girl but once he gets her, he get’s uncreative and does the same thing over and over again. Hey relationships and life are about variety. Personally I’m not the guy that would follow the standard procedure aka where the guy gets a girl flowers and chocolates. Personally I would come up with a more creative idea such as mystery grab bag, which is a hallmark gift bag filled with such goodies such a chocolates,a lottery ticket,a pez dispenser,make up kit,a good book etc. Yeah I like to separate myself from the herd , don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with giving a girl flowers and chocolates, but to me it sounds redundant and over used.


Anyways hoping to meet someone where we cant start out as buddies as I believe when you date someone expectations are high, you put to much pressure on date. I believe getting to know someone over a long period time (as friends) can tell if your right for each other. Hey when you go on date you or you date may have had a bad day and that may leave an undesirable impression. Anyways sorry im not good at this writing thing but if your interested feel free to write back. Oh yeah one more thing heres my list of favorite movies,tv shows, board games ,video games and other gibberish.

Favorite movies: platoon, sniper, napoleon dynamite,clerks(1 and 2),breakfast club,fast times at ridgemonte high, Harold and kumar, bill and ted excellent adventure,a very brady sequel adventure,transformers the movie,anger management,not another teen movie, karate kid 1,2, rocky III, rocky balboa, home alone 1 and 2, problem child 1 and 2,chucky, nightmare on elm street (all of them),searching for bobby fischer,ferris buellers day off,the crow, ghostbusters,E.T., star wars(all of them), star trek(all movies) the lost boys,goonies,the outsiders,back to the future(1 and 2),a very brady sequel.last of the Mohicans,lord of the flies,stand by me,Goodwill hunting,searching for bobby fischer, Indiana jones,little nicky,Brewster millions,billy Madison,enter the dragon,dodgeball,hitch,therock,ratatouille and gremlins( all 3 movies).

Favorite childhood shows and current favorites; kung fu,sledgehammer,bewitched,zoobilee zoo,gomer pyle,adventures of pete and pete,saved by the bell,the transformers,king of queens, the honeymooners,Seinfeld,the Bernie mac show smurfs,transformers,gi joe,get along gang,pacman, the shirt-tales, force five, Mindfreaks,starblazers,voltron,beavis and butthead, Webster, punky Brewster,different strokes, all in the family, baby looney tunes, batman:animated adventures, teenwolf,snorks,doug,rugrats,spongebob,malcom in the middle,smallville, Garfield and friends,rugrats,supernatural,everbody loves Raymond, Johny zero, last comic standing( seasons 2 and 3),the littles,Alvin and the chipmunks, heathcliff,wait till your father gets home, mr.belvidere,home improvement,dennis the menace,little archie, yogibear,flinstones,aqua hunger teen force, reno911,chappelle show, you cant do that on television, heman and the masters of the universe,gobots,ducktales,silver spoons, chip and dale, the Charlie brown show,alf, fat albert,the munsters,leave it to beaver, spiderman and his amazing friends,bewitched,teenage mutant ninja turtles, Kirby, dragonball z, battle of the planets,muppet babies, the muppets,Richie rich, angel,buffy the vampire slayer,stargate, family ties,wonder years,the highlander,airwolf,hey Arnold,knightrider,family guy,facts of life,happy days,Baywatch, parker lewis cant lose,brady bunch, life goes on,tour of duty,thundercats,alice,golden girls,Sanford and son,happy days,one day at time,facts of life,the fall guy,welcome back kotter, threes company,perfect strangers,mask,ghostbuster,growing pains,I love lucy,whos the boss,small wonder,Kirby,dragonball z,avatar,alf,quantum leap,Laverne and Shirley,simpsons,I think I should stop now cause ive got like a 100 more shows lol.

Favorite board games: operation,life, battleship,chess,chutes and ladders,hungry hungry hippo, mouse trap and of course chess!!!.

Favorite music bands: skid row( 18 and life), def leppard, toto,motley crue,poison,guns and roses,bon jovi,warrant, van halen, Madonna, new kids on the block(just joking )whitesnake,nirvana, Duran Duran,pink floyd.

Best song: ordinary world(duran duran),Africa(toto). House of fire(Alice Cooper)

Best tv show theme song: welcome back kotter, adventures of pete and pete,dukes of hazard.

Favorite sport: tetherball and dodgeball lol

Favorite wrestlers : curt henning,randy savage,raven,Hulk Hogan, owen hart,kurt angle,the rock.

Favorite cereals:cocoa pebbles,cocoa puffs, count chocula,golden grams,apple jacks.

Favorite gum: bazooka joe grape, great tasting gum, comes with a a comic and tells your fortune ,what can ask more from a gum. lol

Favorite movie and tv characters: Bruce lee,master,Quinn Mallory,Po,Gizmo,gonzo,slimer(ghostbusters)fozzie bear,gargamel,archie bunker, boom boom Washington,juan Epstein,alf, AC slater,ferris bueller, zach morris,angel,spongebob,Charlie brown,Duncan mcleod brainysmurf,spiderman,macgyver,Donald duck,Winnie the pooh,tigger,jughead jones, sam and dean Winchester(supernatural) lex luthor(smallville), green arrow ,Michael knight(smallville),jeff spicolli,batman, randall (clerks)kara(smallville),destro,cobra commander, white shadow,major blood,pete and pete,endless mike,batman,roscoe Coltrane,orko,daisy dukes.

Favorite transformers: starscream,galvatron,megatron,stunticons,aerialbots,dinobots,combaticons,omega supreme,shockwave,soundwave,cyclonus,rumble.

Favorite romantic things to do: I know this gonna sound lame, but I think cuddling up with someone on a couch with a cup of hot chocolate , watching a movie or Saturday cartoons together is romantic, otherwise nothing beats a walk on the beach followed with a picnic,or a hot air ballon ride. Oh yeah this might not be so romantic but it would be cool to go to a magic workshop with someone and learn to to do magic together. You know practice with each other.

All time favorite video games: animal crossing( this game totally cracks me up :)
Mike tysons punch out,Zelda,castlevania, super mario3, tecmo bowl,san andreas,tekken 5,Grand theft auto 4.

By the way does anyone remember lasertag and photon?

Also does anyone remember collecting garbagepail kids?

Also does anyone remember teddy ruxpin?

Hey anyone have or had the smurfs pvc’s?( the little plastic smurfs) I remember playing with them and along with the transformers,gi joe,he-man toys , they rocked!!!!!!!!!

Slinkys also kick ass!!!

Smurfs or snorks?

Vinny Barbarino or Fonzie?

Bo Duke or Luke Duke?

Kitt or General Lee?

Anyone ever solve Rubicks cube?.... I know obviously theres a trick to it … the only trick I know is peeling off the stickers and placing them back on..lol!


Who do you think got higher SAT scores Samuel “Screech” Powers or Steve Urkel?

Anyone besides me wants to see NBC bring back Alf?... I have all the seasons on dvd and I tell you he’s one frickin funny dude?

Oh one more thing did anyone remember trying to break dance back in the day? … I remember getting an empty cardboard box and trying to spin on my head all while listening to a big stereo system.… lol


There are few times when I truly have no words upon seeing a Craigslist ad, but this is one of those times. The best part? This guy posts a variation on this ad at least once a week in different cities around Louisiana.

LOOKING FOR AMAZING GIRL TO HAVE AMAZING TIMES WITH - 27 (Wheaton)

please include picture when you email me so i know who im talking to. fyi- from what i think and what people say i look way better in person then in pictures.
myspace.com/send__me_an__angel Hey I'm KEVIN i just bought a condo in wheaton a year ago and thats where im currently living. I work for everything i have. I like to make people laugh and have a great time no matter where I am or what im doing and don't let anything get in the way. Im really sarcastic, and love to joke around ,but can be serious when its time.I love to see people smile because its the greatest feeling in the world. i love to play guitar and listen to music. I also love to write and put my feelings into words and songs . I hope to one day make it in music and share my words and feelings with the world because some sing songs others sing life. i like to travel and take pictures and i want to see the world and make it a better place cause when i leave this earth i want to know i left it a better place. im that guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... im the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, "thats her" someone who isnt stuck up and judges people. dont be upset and say there are no good guys out there when all you look at is looks. your not going to find a guy with a nice body and great personality so either change who you are looking for or dont complain about there not being any good guys out there. guys with muscles are trying to compensate for something else.if you want someone to treat you amazing and have a great time with im that guy. most guys want to just get in your pants, where im the guy who wants to get inside your heart and in you soul. im the guy who believes in finding that true love, and that story book ending. i want to build and start a strong and long lasting relationship ,I'm seeking a serious long term relationship Someone special to capture my heart and knows how to handle it with care, one who will cherish me and be willing to share life's greatest joys and sorrows. Someone who's willing to love me unconditionally, whom is kind, sincere, honest, passionate, loyal, sense of humor, loving and wants a lifetime of passion. That one true love should be your world and nothing else should matter ,but being with them. i want to meet the girl of my dreams. i want someone to make so happy and have them make me happy back. I want her to be honest and truthful to me and talk to me about problems and become stronger with each other, so we can grow closer together. i want someone who is like, "this is who i am and this is who I'm going to be years from now", i don't want someone who puts on a act to get me to like them, then changes and shows who they really are. i just want someone who going to be there through the bad and good times. whether i have 1 million dollars or 1 dollar. i may not have a lot of money like some people but i have the heart and thats what matters in the end because money can't buy love or happiness or solve problems or make you happy. my heart and who i am will make you more happy then all the money in the world. love out lasts everything. love is doing what the other person likes to do even if you don't like what they like. just being with them would be all that matters. i don't want a high maintance girl or someone who lets possessions and money take over there life.I'm not rich and probably never will be,but its fine with me cause im happy no matter what. she has to live by the moment. like if its raining go out with me in the rain and dance and not care about getting wet or sick. the moment and memory in itself would last forever. i want someone who wants to make a difference in the world and thinks about other people not just themselves. someone who wants to help the unfortunate and change peoples lives.someone who has the heart of gold and is going to stand by me and be my other half through better or worse. i believe your suppose to meet people at certain times in your life and you just don't know why. it sucks but at the same time its kinda interesting. i believe people can take so many different paths and depending on there path is how there life turns out. anybody can be your true love and your destiny thats why i don't pass up meeting people or going places.if a girl is pretty but is a horrible person on the inside then she is ugly to me. i try and keep the true people in my life cause those are the people who are there for you when you need it. when i meet people i show them who i am and if they aren't interested i wouldn't care because i would want them to like me for who I'am and not for who I'm not and if someone doesn't give me a chance, then they are missing out on someone special who would change there life.whenever i go out i make the day amazing no matter who I'm with and just want to make a girls life amazing. I've been through a lot , but you learn from all of it and become a stronger person and when a relationship ends it means you have that much more love to give someone else. I'm not going to settle for something i don't deserve. there is just to many girls out there that would treat me amazing. you just have to let them come into your life.i just want a girl to make happy and have so many amazing memories and make her laugh 24-7 and have her do the same back. no more fights,drama,cheating,lies or anything else. i just totally believe in fate and that person will just come into your life if you believe,but in order for you to love someone you have to love yourself. You have to win my heart before you can win my soul. Possessions and money are short term happiness but being with the person you love is long term happiness. This is what i think a real relationship is. When you have a problem or a fight you should solve the problem together and become stronger. A relationship takes work but in the end its all worth it. Instead of growing apart you need to grow together, but you have to be willing to communicate, sacrifice and compromise to make it work. All the good memories should overshadow the bad ones. No relationship is perfect and you have to look at the stuff that the person has done for you rather then all the stuff they didn't. If you truly love someone nothing should get in the way and that takes work, strength and heart. Actions speak louder then words and you have to show you care not just say it. Treat that person you love perfect, show them you care and be nice to them, otherwise one day they will be gone.if you see your faults and problems and change them then things get better. its whether you see your problems and faults and change and i'm willing to change and you have faults and problem that you need to work on too and if your willing to change and work on them then you have a great future. A lot of times you don't realize what you lost till you lose it and a relationship isn't a relationship if you hide anything from them, lie to them or cheat on them. Never listen to other people about a relationship, just take advice, and follow your heart. If you truly love someone you will try til the very end to be with them and thats true love otherwise you never did love them because you don't give up on love. When someone stops caring and seeing you, your heart will tell you when to let go, but you have to even if you don't want too and move on and become stronger and that will mean you have that much more love to give to the next person and remember actions speak louder then words. Never let go and follow your heart no matter where that might lead. "Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. " If love proves real and two people are meant to be together nothing can keep them-apart


Honestly, I didn't even try to read past the third word of the second line. It's too goddamn long to bother. Who does he think he is, Dostoevsky?

Awesomest Awesome Dudes that is also Awesome - 24 (Simsbury)

Hello lady!

Oh, man, I feel so tacky. I can't believe I actually said that. Can you forgive me? I won't blame you if you can't. In fact, feel free to give me swift punches in the arm if you want.

But not my face. ...Not 'cause I'm too pretty to get in hit in the fact but 'cause it would really hurt a lot.

Okay, so I guess I should tell you about myself? Ah, well, let's see. I enjoy things that bring me satisfaction! Such as brownies, playing my guitar (poorly, but not by choice), teaching elementary school kids, nap time, frisbee, jogging early in the morning, sleeping in very late, more nap time, kissing pretty girls, video games, and tea. Oh, and being awesome as hard as I can.

If I had to describe myself, I would say that if Shaggy from Scooby Doo, Fry from Futurama, and JD from Scrubs had a kinky-three man-laden threeway, and somehow they all got pregant with the same baby (maybe they would each carry it for a trimester? Look... I didn't think this through, okay?) then I would be that baby.

Oh, and I'm also brilliant, gorgeous, daring, and adventurous, but... I'm also not very humble, so you probably shouldn't believe me.

I'm kind of open to any kind of lady, so if you're reading this and are as bored as I am, oh, and believe me, I am so very, very bored, then drop me a line! IM me on AIM if you have it, I'm on way too much. My screen name is badgood18.

There're a picture of me below. I hope you don't think I'm a super uggo, but I'll understand if you do. I've gotten 3 or 4 responses that are like 'hey- funny post.' Um, thanks, but that's kind of useless? It would be great if you would, I dunno, identify yourself in any means or way? Also, a picture wouldn't hurt, people.

Hope to hear from you soon! Or not, if you're a stalker.

PS - Don't be a stalker.

PPS - Okay, you can be a stalker, but only if you're crazy-hot. Like drop dead yowzah gorgeous kind of hot.

PPPS - Crap, was that sexist? It was, wasn't it?!? Dammit.

PPPPS - I'm not a sexist!

PPPPPS - Unless you think that thinking women should be barefoot and locked in a kitchen all day to bake pies is sexist. Then I'm sexist as hell!

PPPPPPS - I'm not! that was a lie. I didn't think this through very well.

PPPPPPPS - I'm really bad at thinking things through.

PPPPPPPPS - If you're still reading this, you are clearly my dream girl who will indulge me in all my various levels of insanity. Will you marry me?




Psst, kid - you're trying too hard.

I think this is one of the saddest Craigslist posts I've ever seen.

email/coffee/kisses/sex/ltr/marriage/babies/death/reincarnation/email (where wine exits your nose from laughing)

You can't dance with a scary 400 pound gorilla and not expect to come out it with a smashed toe or two. But it's a helluva' dance and this ape would climb the Empire State Building and swat at planes for the right girl.

Leakey is digging under the wrong tree trying to find that 'missing link' between ape and man that thrust him from his four legged pre-consciousness to his near divine two legged sapienhood. It was the four legged creature's chivalrous attempt to get Lucy's attention. He lifted himself off his fours, and handed her a honey ant. Chivalry is the driving force behind evolution. If it weren't for roses and sonnets we'd be still swimming in the primeval ooze.

If I weren't so chivalrous and refined a gentleman, this is what my
personal ad would say...

Listen up ladies, you've got a snowballs chance in hell in finding your soulmate comedian through online dating. That takes divine intervention and your selfish life hasn't really been a paradigm of selfless compassion to invoke the Hand of Providence. So you're gonna' have to turn Mother Teresa and pray a lot or you're gonna' have to settle for less than that 6'2", 12" pecker, 6 pack abs, male model good looks, emotionally committed, financially stable, great sense of humor, sensitive man you've been holding out for. Forget about giving him your precious virginity -- you gave that to some loser long ago because you were horny and impatient. You have a better chance of meeting the Easter bunny than this superficial shmuck who was already bagged by his high school sweetheart and commutes from his Long Island starter home to a job he
hates and comes home exhausted to a woman he's learning to hate.

So settle for this -- and I will put it in the crassest terms:

5'8", a few extra pounds, easy on the eyes, wit and intelligence that can truly take on the best of them, a poetic, soulful creative soul, a tattoo or two, lots of fucking baggage (yes, there was life before you), immaturity, a sense of adventure that's taken him to near one hundred countries, family oriented, spiritual -- not just in easy words but in actual acts of benevolence and self-sacrifice, a genuine belief in God, 2 PhD's ABD (All But Dissertation -- who has fucking time to finish these things), MA, MBMgmt, loads of awards, moments or sheer genius and absolute stupidity, strength -- physical and of character, and here's the kicker that will leave you breathless: an average income of $XXX,XXX a year. I think I finally got your attention ladies, because escort or prima donna, girl next door or dominatrix, gold-digger or heart of gold, we're all interested in security. Despite our promising careers we all
want to be taken care of like daddy used to take care of us. So secure in the knowledge that I can Dolce & Gabbana your asses from here to eternity, take you anywhere in the world on a whim, stay in 5 star hotels, eat in ZAGAT's top restaurants, get you a fucking maid so you never have to clean or do laundry, get you a personal trainer to keep you looking great, and when gravity takes its toll, pay for botox, lipo, face lifts, implants, eye jobs, ectoscopic forehead lifts and whatever the fuck you need to look good forever. That fantasy shmuck of yours can't do that. Ever.

And one more thing, I will worship the ground you walk on. And bring you fulfillment.

Listen to your mom -- settle already and give her the grandchildren
she's been bugging you about and so richly deserves after putting up with her
picky, ungrateful daughter all these years.

But alas I am a refined and proper man and can never say what's really
on my mind.
Do I detect a smile? A girlish giggle or two. Can I be your funnybone?

But beware of:
CYBER-FUCKING-BULLSHIT

In this tangled web of 'perfection' I tip my hat
To those 'hotties' out there, not a single one fat.
Don't get upset, just decipher the code
And you'll learn to distinguish the truth from a 'load'....

Twenty pounds overweight is simply called 'average'
30 pounds deliciously 'thick',
40 is 'voluptuous'
And 50 pounds, 'fit as a brick'.
60 is 'Ruebenesque",
70 'an hourglass figure',
80 pounds, 'a full-bodied woman' --
And believe it or not, God, their asses get bigger!

Not only do the women lie:
'Outgoing men' are truly shy,
'Generous gentlemen', tight as a Jew,
'Communicative' chaps don't listen to you.
'Six feet tall' is five feet eight,
'Twenty nine' more like forty-eight
The 'love to travel, 'cultured', 'sophisticated' men
Have their butts glued to their E.Z. chairs and E.S.P.N.

Let's take it as a given we're both big fat liars,
Flawed, self-deluded, and short on prime buyers.
So let's get together, bitch, moan and piss
I just may be the fuck-up you won't wanna' miss.

YOU: ideally: 22-29; timeless beauty (in/out/sideways/birdseye view);
witty and wild; can stifle the Krakatoic rumblings of your womb for 5 years or can do without the fucking monsters altogether; don't need Google to follow me;
creative; wants to see 100+ countries; ticklish; can laugh at yourself; jaded but not cynical; need help with your G-spot; spend less than 1/8 of your life on a fucking cell phone; makes more than reservations for dinner; your booty's not so big as to warrant its own zipcode but I don't want one of those boney ass bitches neither; you're willing to be tattooed; you'll try anything once -- and twice if I tell you it's healthy; you know the wealth of a person has little to do with money; passionate; mysterious; have childlike curiosity; enjoy refreshing honesty; are a muse and enjoy reading poetry in bed; walk upright; know at least 18 slang phrases for sex; don't smoke(near me at least); know the sexiest and most erotic thing about any man is his hot, throbbing brain

ME: your fucking nemesis, soulmate, funnybone, worshipper, protector, the cool dude you've been holding out for, that whore in the kitchen and gourmet in the bedroom, milk moustache and Don Juan with a Djembe drum belly

THEM: ahhh, fuck'em

Free condoms (Warning these may or may not be cursed) LOL - 33 (olmsted)

YES I KNOW THIS IS IN THE WRONG SPOT BUT PLEASE DON'T FLAG ME TILL YOU READ FURTHER AND SEE THAT THIS IS INDEED THE BEST SPOT FOR ME TO ADVERTISE THESE! I HAVE NOT HAD ANY LUCK POSTING THEM ELSEWHERE (HENCE THE REVISIONS AT THE BOTTOM)


So I am single again ... well for almost 4 months now. I wasn't dating in the beginning, and was really enjoying being by myself. The independence was great. I could get away with not making my bed in the morning,go to work(must admit being allowed to work without accusations of imaginary whores has been my favorite) leaving the toilet seat up, leaving the bathroom counter a little wet, you know, the things...and it was all fun. And I really wasn't interested in getting into the whole dating scene again. Never was a bar/club player ever anyways.

But then the loneliness started getting to me. I missed being intimate with a woman, the touch, the laughs, the showers, the arguments, the sex after the arguments, you know, the whole thing. So I started dating again.....yes through the Internet...yes on craigslist! So I posted a couple ads, not knowing what to expect, and replied to quite a few, again not quite sure what will come of it. And boy was I in for a surprise?

The first week: Nothing! Zilch! Zero! Other than those same 5 to 6 women who's husband's or B/F's are away and they can host if I go to their chat site (Ladies you don't need to tell me it's free I wanted my own G/f not borrow someone else's) I posted a simple ad saying I am single, reasonably good looking, nice job, not a player, blah blah blah. No replies. Well I figured it's just a start and besides I knew there were way more men hounding craigslist than women anyways. And so I replied to a bunch of ads written by women (okay more than a bunch, a lot). Now let me tell you, I'm not a greek god, but I don't look bad, I'm taller than average, keep myself in pretty good shape, very active, very funny, intelligent, a simple, fun person, right? So I replied to all these posts (from the woman who had 200 specifics about her ideal man and an ad that made me scroll my screen 4 times to the woman who wrote 4 words in her post, and everyone in between), and for the ones who wrote "pic for pic" I attached my pic (why can't we type whole words again?). No replies. Now I don't cut and paste my replies. I read the posts and try to be funny and relevant and meet the "requirements" so to speak. Still...No replies.

The next few weeks: So I posted more ads, replied to even more ads, and finally the responses started trickling in. And here it gets a little interesting. I don't know what about my emails sends an inviting signal to this new breed of women who proudly refer to themselves as BBW. But all of a sudden I was a hero for them. They wanted me...big time. Now don't get me wrong ladies, I think you're all beautiful, just not my type. Maybe Mr. Craig should split the "women seeking men" section into two: "BBW seeking men" and "Non-BBW seeking men", because in my humble experience there are a LOT of BBWs loitering this website.

So after putting a filter in my mailbox that would automatically block all emails containing the now dreaded word BBW, I kept moving on. Got a few nice emails, and went on some dates (Although I must say it is getting more difficult to get women over their fears of leaving their homes what is everyone doing out there to scare them into hermits I wonder). Now you must be wondering what's up with that box of condoms on the title. Well now that I was sort of dating again and was pretty upbeat, I went to the store and bought a box of condoms (They are Trojan Magnums very hard to come by when you live in middle class white suburbia maybe it's because of the shiny gold foil package I know how the brothers like their "BLING" on the other side of town). And I actually began to carry some on me when I went on dates (yeah like these women would wanna jump my bones on a first date, but you never know right?). No luck ppl. I would come back from these dates, and put the condom back in the box, and it kept happening again and again. So much so that it's been almost 4 months since I bought that box and I haven't used one frickin condom. Maybe that box is jinxed. Maybe it brought me bad luck. Would Wal-mart take the box back I wonder?

So this box of condoms and I developed a weird love-hate relationship. Everytime I took one out of the box, the box would sorta grin at me: "Dude, I don't think so!" was what the box would sorta say. And then later that night when I sheepishly returned it in the box, the box would let out a sigh: "Dude, told ya!". I kept him warm and comfy (away from any major source of heat or light, like the label says) in my medicine cabinet, but then I moved him somewhere in my closet so I don't have to face him everytime I use aftershave. Because I really was embarrassed to face the box. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night and hear the box talking to me "Dude, do you think you'd EVER get laid?". Yeah for some reason he always called me "Dude" in a wry, sarcastic way. So I started fearing the box. Is there a condition called CAD, yeah, Condom Anxiety Disorder, I might have it. But then the box wouldn't always be sarcastic, sometimes I could sense that he sorta felt my pain. Sometimes in the mornings when I was taking clothes out of my closet, he would say "Dude, you're a good guy, things will be okay", or something comforting like that.

But I think this relationship is hurting us both. My CAD is getting worse, and the box is getting close to his expiration date with each passing day. Now he never talks about the expiration date, but gives me subtle hints. Like when I open the closet, he would deliberately lay on his side so the expiration date is in my face. So I know, that the box is worried too. So one day I had a talk with him, yeah one of those man-to-condom ones. I asked him "Are you sad with all this?". He looked at me, a little surprised, because I never asked a direct question like that before. Then his sarcastic side returned: "Dude, what dya think?" And I said "Okay I'd return you to the store". A flicker of anger, obviously he didn't like the idea: "Dude, no half-decent box of condoms would ever wanna go back to the store shelf, R U outta yer mind?" He explained to me that it's the unwritten law in Condom Land that a box that's returned is jinxed and brings bad luck. Well that was it....

So I want to sell this box to somebody.

To someone who meets the 200 specific criteria that woman posted,
To someone who's a greek god,
To someone who actually gets laid on craigslist...

Well I have had no luck advertising these to any men on CL so I am re-posting them as I am sure the female's will surely get much more use out of them and actually know WHEN they will have a need for them as opposed to the males.

I must update as I wouldn't want to rip anyone off an Ex-G/f stoped by my home with an offer to clean my home if I would have sex with her (condoms not needed). Well I insisted I received her services BEFORE I performed mine. Well long story short the box and it's contents were "discovered" in their "hiding" place. Unbeknownst to me a full box of condoms in my "size" is absolute proof that I was sleeping around before our break-up. So the "Evil condoms of infidelity" needed to be destroyed. So I only rescued 5 of the little guys that seem to be intact. The rest of their brothers and the box (he won't be talking shit no more will he the smart-ass) have met with an untimely demise (Steak knife during the whole "Get the fuck out of my house whack-job shit like this is why I didn't want you here in the first place" that was being wielded by my potential house cleaner). So I would be willing to trade the last 5 if some woman was interested in cleaning the rest of my house!

* * * I'M LOOKING FOR A WIFE - ONLY * * * - 32 (baton rouge)

I'm heterosexual!........so "Gay Guys" please stop emailing me!"

I've been through many different stages in my life. From being scared to talk to girls as a teen, to one day, making a conscious decision in high school, to stop being shy. I started flirting with girls and eventually started having girlfriends.

As time went on, I wanted to be a "player" so I started "lying" in order to juggle a variety of girlfriends. Eventually I got caught a few times. I didn't like the drama that a "player" goes through so I decided to try totally different approach. I decided to start being "straight-up" with my approach. I never was the type to call a lady out of her name, even when I was living the player's lifestyle. Telling the truth was my new way getting exactly what I wanted. I was honest, funny, and lustful.

I learned that being honest was easier than running game. Also most of the women that showed attraction to my honesty was ladies who where older than me. And I was in my mid 20s. I found myself being involved with mature women who didn't play no "mind games". Thinking back..........I never had any drama with them either. They wasn't about money and material things. They just wanted a man that they were attracted to and can get along with, without trying to manipulate them.

I grew more mature through those experiences and learned what kind of woman I needed. There was a time that I swore to my mother that I would never get married, but not that has changed, along with many other testimonies The LORD has brought me through.

When I was about 27. I remember asking The LORD to help me become abstinate. I failed many many times over the years. But through CHRIST, I have succeeded 18 months and counting. It is truly a miracle! No STDs and no children and I know I didn't do it under my own strength. A whole lot of my prayers was answered. GOD has a purpose. GOD has a specific wife prepared for me.

*A wife that is "equally yoked".
*The wife who has been changed by JESUS and is Born Again.
*The wife who lives for CHRIST and His Righteousness.
*The wife who listens to Gospel Music.
*The wife who doesn't skip Church.
*The wife who understands the importance of Sound Doctrine.
*The wife who wants to study The WORD of GOD with me.
*The wife who prays everyday with me.
*The wife who cleaves to me.
*The wife who doesn't care if I have money & materials.
*The wife who has a humble spirit.
*The wife who isn't demanding to please.
*The wife who doesn't like to argue.
*The wife who doesn't drink or smoke.
*The wife who is without children.
*The wife who is mature and cherishes honest conversation.

This writing was inspired by an experience I had yesterday. I saw this beautiful lady (about my age or younger) coming out of a building I was parked in the front of. I waved and she waved and smiled. As she was walking away I thought, "Maybe I should not let this opportunity past me by". So I said "Excuse me Mam!" and she walked over to me. I politely shook her hand and introduced myself. She had a very pretty name also. I mentioned that "I don't usually stop ladies that I am attracted to, but I am attracted to you and would like to give you my phone number, since I didn't want to be rude by asking you for yours." As she was putting my number in her cell phone. My neighbors elderly mom (who I was bringing on some errands) got in the car. The "lady" mentioned that she's an aid who sits with the women that lives in the building. And said "she was going to ask my neighbors mom about me to see what I am about." I told her "If the LORD tells you to call me, then call me, if HE tells you not to call me, then don't call me. Our interaction was very respectful. We said "goodbye" and parted ways.

The last time I can remember waiting for a someone to call me was way back in high school. Now I see how yall ladies feel. It is a stressful position to be in . I would have rather her be honest and straight-up reject me, then "smile" and take my number knowing she wasn't interested. There was a time that I would have charmed my way straight into her mind and her pants. But the HOLY SPIRIT keeps convicting me. My intension wasn't "sinful". Sin is easy. I just turned down an opportunity to sin last week.

Waiting on The LORD's "chosen wife" can be trying, but it is a learning process. For now, it seems that her and I were "un-equally yoked". Still no call. I feel like I should have just kept my mouth shut and let her pass. But maybe its a blessing? She might be everything in a wife that I don't want.

Which kind of wife are you?

32,Black male,Brown Skin,5'7,175lb,Bald Cut,Stocky build,Humble

Cute Guy With Depth And Brains - 22 (Brooklyn park)

First let me say im sry this is so damn long lol!!! but really read it all or atleast skim threw most its who I am tells a lot about me and if u don’t read it all don’t bother to msg me cause that just shows you’re just fooling around and don’t care or know what u want. im a great guy and if you take the time and get to know me you wouldn’t regret it. im a dieing bread of shivery and respect and good relationship values.


im luke im a 22 year old white male from around Brooklyn park area. by far not a yo boy in anyways lol.. not a red neck but more of a country boy at heart if ya know what I mean. anyways im down to earth easy going very easy to talk to and listen very well I never judge cause its not my place to and we never know why people are the way they are and we don’t have to like them but shouldn’t judge them. so, anyways im a huge goofball but I know when to settle down and shut up, I have a HUGE sense of humor but its not to the point where I make everything a joke in life ya u know what I mean. I have a great big heart and my worst problem, im not going to lie is that I get attached to easy and most of the time I get crushed in the end, not saying im clingy or anyways crazy shit like that trust me lol, I just have a lot of love to give I guess. also im not looking to get married next week or w/e I just want to meet a sweet down to earth girl who is pretty funny very witty like I am. I love a girl who can keep up with my Sarcasm because that’s a lot of my humor and witty Sarcasm and just plain crazy goofy lol, but anyways like I was saying not looking to get married next week but I want to meet that right girl and maybe head down that way if u know what I mean. im not big headed but im very smart I like building computers and other things like dirt bikes or w/e im a hands on type of guy. by next yea I will be a cop in balitmore city then I plan to go back to school and get my degrees in criminal justice and go to state trooper and then you know move up from there. im not perfect a goody goody if that’s what ur thinking, iv had my crazy days but im not that party guy get drunk fight steal get high and w/e els I use to be thought I still to like to have fun, so im not gona be a uptight pig. I love the outdore, camping, hiking shit like that. I love dogs a lot I want a few of them cats are ok but I wouldn’t get one myself. I plan to have after years a nice wife a few kids and 2 GORGEOUS huskys and maybe a malamute as well lol.. just my dream, the way iv always seen myself growing old. umm other things im not a jesus freak don’t really go to church thought id like to at some point start going again I mean im not huge on god and stuff but I do believe in him. also I love kids there fun as hell to me cause at times im a big kid at heart so I connect well with them, and I grew up in a HUGE family with lots of little ones so iv baby sat my fare share I no how to deal with them, just refuse to change there dipers cause ewww who want touch baby doodoo that gross man. umm trying to think of something els here, im a huge cuddle freak!! I know that’s random as hell in thisd msg meaning it should be at some other part of it but just thought I should throw one in there lol. oh ok and im a big family person even thought mine sucks and don’t give 2 rats ass’s about me lol, I want a big family of my own one day and I want it to be stable and well provided for and a lot of stability because growing up I never had these things and want to give them to my family indef. like I was said b4 im not perfect I guess but I have an GOD!! an ocean of depth a world of heart and im hard to understand sometimes but I always mean well and I have a pure heart 100% and I think that’s what counts most thought I think a lot of these things being looked for died in the 40s lol, im hoping hell im praying for one more beautiful woman out there to be for me that looking for a guy like this, who I am and I bring and what I want to have... anyways if I sound like the type of guy ud like to get to know more about then msg me and send me a pic cause lets not bs looks do matter to some point ya know. and also send me a link to ur myspace and ur AIM sn and we can take it from there.. its just easyer talk from them cause who checks there e-mail like that anymore lol..

P.S: please NO LIERS AND CHEATER AND CHICKs THAT JUST LIKE TO PLAY HEAD GAMES AND GO FOR THE DRAMA B.S. NO ONE AND NO LIFE IS PERFECT BUT I WANT TO LIVE A DRAMA FREE LIFE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND HAVE NO ROOM FOR STUPID BITCHS LIKE THAT…. THANKS

P.S 2: IM NOT RITCH AND HELL I PAY BILLS AND IM BROKE 90% OF THE TIME LOOKING FOR A BETTER JOB BUT STILL DON’T WANT A WOMAN THAT NEEDS A MAN TO HAVE A RIDE AND EASY SPENDING CASH TO BE INTO HIM, THAT NOT HOW I WANT THINGS TO BE. I WILL MAKE WAY BETTER MONEY SOME DAY BUT THAT DAYS NOT TODAY AND I WANT A GIRL THAT CAN RESPECT THAT AND CARE FOR ME ANYWAYS. AND I DON’T LET WOMAN PAY FOR ME SO FORGET THAT TOO, WHEN IM MARRIED AND SPLIT THE PILLS THAT’S ONE THING BUT WELL U GET THE DRIFT IM SURE….

P.S 3: I I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY ABOUT HOW PEOPLE SHOULD ACT AND UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU’RE IN A REAL RELATIONSHIP. 1ST NO GOD DAMN LIEING, NO LITTLE LIES NO OH HE/SHE DON’T FIND OUT AND WONT HURT THEM LIES, NO LITTLE WHITE LIE, NO MAKING UP STORYS TO MAKE URSELF SOUND COOL, NO ENBELISHING CAUSE NO MATTER HOW SMALL YOU THINK IT IS LIEING IS LIEING AND IT MAKES PEOPLE NOT TRUST YOU BECAUSE WHERE DAS IT END AND NO ONE CAN READ YOU’RE MIND, I DON’T LIE AND I KNOW I DON’T GIVE SECOND CHANCES WHEN IT COMES TO LIEING OR CHEATING. 2ND HAVING GUY/FEMALE FRIENDS OF OPASIT SEX WHEN YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP IS JUST FINE AND NO ONE SHOULD TELL YOU WHO YOU CAN AND CANT HANG OUT WITH OR TALK TO BUT ITS VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO HANG OUT WITH THEM ALONE WITHOUT UR B/F G/F THERE BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY SHOULD TRUST YOU PEOPLE DO SHIT AND THERES FREE WILL LEVEING ROOM TO CHEAT AND THESE THINGS SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO COME UP IN A RELATINSHIP AND YOU JUST SHOULD’NT PUT UR B/F G/F W/E IN THE POSITION TO WHERE THEY MIGHT THINK OF THESE THINGS AND I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH LOVE AND TRUST THERE IS SHIT HAPPEN AGAIN WE ARE HUMAN AND NO ONE CAN REALLY TRULLY KNOW’S FOR SURE. AFTER 30 YEARS OF BEING MARRIED PEOPLE CHEAT WITH NO WARING’S HUSBANDS/WIVES NEVER NEW THERE WAS A PROB SO DON’T GIVE ME THE YOU SHOULD TRUST ME B.S CAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS BULLSHIT! AND SOMETIMES EVEN THE SOBER EYE OF REASOM MUST ASUME THE ASPECT OF HELL.. I WOUDLNT HANG OUT WITH A FEMALE ALONE WHEN IM WITH SOMONE AND I WOULDN’T DEAL WITH IT FROM YOU EATHER.. ITS JUST RESPECT NOT TRUST ISSUES..


LAST P.S Kristen i know ur reading this and anything els i most u freak nugget, just wanted to say one last time and read close and and let it sink it, FUCK YOU!!!! lol

***Girlfriend potential test*** - 33 (Minot)

Instructions: Please answer the questions below as directed in each section. You will be marked for grammar, spelling, cleverness, creativity and boob-size. Please keep in mind that while this is not an application for a job, your performance on this test will be a reflection of your ability to achieve certain positions once out in the real world. When the clock strikes the hour, you may begin. You have sixty minutes to complete the test.


Section One: Multiple Choice (Answer All, 5 points)

When submitting answers via email, please copy and paste the question and then your answer selection beside it.

Q1. Six months into our relationship, I go away to a tropical location with my family for a week over Christmas. This vacation was planned as a family event two years prior to meeting you. This is:
a) A great opportunity to get some things done without me around.
b) A great opportunity to attempt to sleep with my college roommate and/or my boss.
c) A sign that you are probably just a casual thing that I could toss aside at any given moment despite the fact I bought you probably the most thoughtful gift you've ever received and written you a letter for every day that I'll be gone, inciting you to 'Go on the Defensive.'
d) Occasion to have a sexy dinner at home the night before I leave, and a mini 'welcome home' party when I get back that’s guest list is just you, me, a bottle of wine and a pack of condoms.

Q2. We've talked every night for eight days (not including the dinner/opera show I took you to on Saturday night that was followed by possibly your worst performance in bed ever, or the Monday night that I came over and we spent the evening making Rachel Ray recipes and watching Heroes followed by the best oral sex I've ever given you), with conversation time averaging about an hour per night. On a Thursday night, when on a deadline, I express a need to get off the phone so I can finish some work and go to bed at a reasonable hour. You:
a) Express your feelings of devotion in three words or less, then and quickly say goodbye after confirming plans for tomorrow night are still on.
b) Say goodbye, but then immediately begin talking about something that we hadn't discussed as thoroughly as is scientifically, legally or religiously possible two nights prior.
c) Take that as a sign that I'm abandoning you, and begin to point out that because of it I have commitment issues, that you're clearly not my priority, and then cry.
d) Say goodbye, but manage to do it with such menace and venom that I stay on the phone for another three silence filled hours, broken only by fits of gentle weeping and suicide threats.

Q3. I'm throwing change at your cleavage, which is readily on display in that loose fitting tank top you wear around my place on Sundays after brunch. Do you:
a) Wing the largest of the coins at my head, with an evil glare and then refuse to speak to me for the rest of the day.
b) Encourage my behavior, and allow me to purchase Afternoon Delights from you at discount prices.
c) Cry.
d) Cry and pick a fight with me, taking my actions as a total lack of respect for you and then begin to point out that because of it I have commitment issues, that you're clearly not my priority, and then cry some more.


Q4. We're having a fight. You:
a) Throw me out of your apartment, then thirty minutes later send 17 texts and attempt to call 13 times in the space of six minutes.
b) Give me space when the discussion gets too heated for rational thought, and redress your complaints in a calm manner when we've both had a chance to cool down.
c) Flip me the bird.
d) Wail on my junk.
e) both c and d
f) realize that the fight is about nothing, and begin creating fictional problems and make wild accusations about my obsession with material goods and having a wandering eye.
g) f, then d, then c.

Q5. I play [video games OR tabletop gaming OR fantasy football]. You:
a) Want to join in, because it looks like hella fun.
b) Leave me to it, in the hopes that I'll leave you a few things to participate in on your own.
c) Attempt to get me to quit, and use tactics like nagging, vandalism and emotional sabotage as an effective campaign against what you call my 'nerdy addiction.'
d) c, but also include deriding me to your friends.


Section Two: True or False (Answer All, 10 points)

When submitting answers via email, please copy and paste the question and then your answer selection beside it.

Q1. Rationale and Reason are the same thing.

Q2. A cheerleader AND/OR schoolgirl outfit is a wardrobe must.

Q3. Talking in your 'cute voice' just before you put my balls in my mouth is sexy.

Q4. Learning body language and communication cues is important.

Q5. 'Anchorman' and 'Superbad' are hilarious movies.

Q6. "But it's cute when I do it" should be a legally viable defense.

Q7. Chest hair is gross.

Q8. Bono is probably the most important political figure of our generation.

Q9. Sex is an important part of a relationship, and should be had frequently, often, whenever possible - within moderation, of course.

Q10. A relationship is metaphorically a two way street. So is your butt.


Section Three: Short Essay. (Answer ONE, 5 points)

Please select one of the following questions and answer it as fully as time will allow. Please try and be as descriptive as possible, and where applicable, come up with at least TWO convincing arguments to support your case. Arguments must be backed up with cited evidence, not anecdotal perspective.


Q1. If I was a crime-fighting vigilante by night, what efforts would you make to support my cause about the rising threat of evil in this city?

Q2. Please come up with a convincing game-plan for having me come shopping with you, keeping in mind my retail oriented attention span is about twelve minutes, and I am prone to wandering after flashing lights and shiny things.

Q3. Please argue why you are (do) or are not (do not): 'Down to Earth', 'Have a sense of humor' and 'Laid back'. Bonus if you can include evidence to confirm that you truly do avoid 'head games.'

Please submit answers via the email link provided. Please also keep a copy of this test and your answers to submit to future suitors for reference. Remember to ensure your name, number and bra size are clearly written at the top of your paper, and don't forget to attach a photo (3/4 length or full).

just a fun loving nerd!!! - 33

the names abilio people just call me bill , let me tell you about myself, im a goofy creative person who comes up with corny ideas like this one I thought up, remember that old Reeses commercial How do you eat your Reeses? Well I came up with my own tv ad for it . Have Reese Witherspoon(the actress) holding a large spoon and then say ,¨ How do you eat your Reeses?Witherspoon¨ Get it !! well I told you it was corny lol. Anyways my other goofy idea which is much better and if I have the time I would like to get it published is my own cartoon, I call it Violent Violet the Crayon gone bad.. It¦s a cross between the sopranos and flinstones .You see in my cartoon emotions represent the colors of the crayons I have characters such as green envy ,purple passion(violent violets girlfriend) anger management(hes the red crayon) etc. My first episode is titled dare to draw first blood.

Also a random thought , wouldnt it be cool if Dustin diamond(played screech powers on saved by the bell) fought emmanuel lewis( tv show Webster)on celebrity boxing , I can imagine dustin diamond getting himself pummeled by emmanuel lewis but the bell rings and ends the round, I can imagine the announcer saying something silly like,¨ looks like dustin diamond just got saved by the bell.¨ Announcer chuckles. Oh yeah I got one more stupid joke I created , its kind of not me but a creative person takes whatever he can get. Here¦s the joke,¨ what did judge judy say after screwing the jury?¨ It¦s a well-hung jury¨ stupid .

Okay heres another . I work in a pharmacy so one day I was asked to do a delivery for mr. Johnson. So I grabbed his prescriptions and headed down to his apartment. I knocked on his door and a 70-year old senior citizen answers the door ,¨ Mr.Johnson I say,¨ heres your prescriptions¨ Mr.Johnson replies , thanks sonny boy¨ he grabs the bag peeks in the bag and says,¨ hey young man wheres my Viagra prescription?,cant you people do anything right, Hows a guy like myself suppose to do for fun besides playing bingo and doing crosswords all day? So I say ,¨ Sorry about that Mr.Johnson , no hard feelings tonight¨ laugh track here . Some more one liners that I invented,¨ I had sex only once,and that¦s because I believed that old saying my parents use to tell me,¨ If you do it right the first time you don¦t have to come and do it over again.¨ Also I came up with some ideas for t-shirts, remember the hamburger helper commercial that had the little talking hand , well put him on a blank t-shirt and have the saying,¨ never bite the hand that¦s feed’s you¨ another idea is just to have this saying on a t-shirt,¨ Im anal retentive, in other words Im a perfect asshole!!!!. Heres some more old jokes that need work anyways here it goes, “ I’m going to write a book on famous people who use Viagra…It’s going to be a pop-up book!!!!. Ever hear about the girl with the big nose?.. her nose was so big, she was giving blowjob’s sideways. Hey whats the worst feeling a woman can have?... She’s about the have the best orgasm of her life and all of a sudden the batteries go dead. Heres one that I need to seriously rework hey some people like it,”

There once was this guy who was impotent. So he went to the doctor to fix his problem. The guy says to his doctor,” Doc ‘I’m ashamed of my impotency and I don’t want people seeing me taking Viagra pills.” Doctor replies,” Don’t worry about it , we’ve got Viagra pills that look like candy, no one will suspect a thing.”Just make sure no one sees you taking the them out of the prescription bottle.”The guy then says,” No problem I’ll just hide them in my fred flinstone pez dispenser.” So the guy goes home and puts the pills in his pez dispenser. Later that night he wants to make love to his wife so he takes a pill out of his pez dispenser and with the instant excitement forgets to put the dispenser back in his pockets and leaves the pez dispenser on the kitchen counter. The next morning his son josh is in the kitchen eating breakfast and notices the pez dispenser, and says,” cool a fred flintstone dispenser.. better take this with me to school.” So at school josh’s friends proudly shows his pez dispenser to his friends, afterwards they all ask if they can have some pez candy .. so josh gives one to each of his friends and to himself, 5 minutes later all of them have pointy pants, so one of joshs friends says ,” hey buddy what the hell,what kind of candy did you give us ?” Josh replies, I dunno, but I guess you could call it hard candy!!!!! I suck but I gave it my best But what do you expect I do have a sense of humor like screech lol. Hey did you know a sex toy company is coming out with a twisted version of play-doh?.. Its called play-dildoh. Hey heres a real put down you can use if people ever make fun of how you look,” hey my dog gets more compliments from men/women than you do! .. heres one last one , an elderly couple are at the museum , they come up to the statue of david, and the wife starts admiring it, saying how lovely and great it is.. well the husband starts getting jealous because his wife seems to be giving more attention and compliments to the statue than he has everhad had from his wife , so he says” So whats so great about the statue?.. whats it got that I don’t have?”.. the wife replies with a grin on her face,” For one thing hes always hard!!”.. also I don’t know if I thought of this before but heres another idea for tootsie rolls pop commercial, have someone sucking on a tootsie roll pop and then say,” theres a sucker born ever minute… on a toostsie roll pop. “if a priest commits a crime ,is it considered a white collar crime?”. If a person in a wheelchair does a comedy routine, is it still stand up?”. In college I majored in food chemistry with a minor in retail and fashion design….Now I can make clothes people can eat !!!Okay I know I should keep my day job, but hey I tried my best to brighten your day  okay now to the serious stuff.

Besides being a weird little man(im 5 10, 180 lbs) Im also a very flexible person who doesnt mind horseback riding, going to the aquarium/museum,the opera, staying at home watching a movie , playing chess or board games. hoping to meet someone who always keeps an open mind to whatever crazy idea that i come up with. i like doing a lot of things, as i believe everything new that i learn , will only make me a better person and less ignorant. i like working out ,chess, cooking,flying,reading,ufc,watching old tv shows etc. of course im always looking for new things to try, i love the knowledge and experience that comes with trying something new. hey maybe you can teach something new and i can teach you something new.

. Im a thoughtful person who always thinks of others before himself. If I was in a relationship and I was reading the Sunday paper and happened to stumble upon a coupon for my partners favorite make-up , I would cut it out attach it to a sticky note and write,¨ thought I would save you money babe¨ and put it in her purse.I guess I get satisfaction in helping others without getting anything in return. That feeling that you get from making someone happy , is worth more to me than money or any material goods.I also take pleasure in cheering people up, hey if my partner had a bad day or feeling under the weather, i would probably give her a nice massage and feed her fresh strawberries dipped in hot dark chocolate. Money and material possessions are fleeting but the lasting memory of helping or making someone feel better is forever. I think honesty is my best trait, being honest is so much easier, why go to the trouble of lying, when in the end it catches up with you. What ive just said is charming but means nothing if I cant put it to action. I rather do than talk, here’s an example for ya ladies: would you rather date a guy who can charm you too death but does not keep his words.. basically he’s all talk and no action or would you rather date a mime. Sure you’ll have communication problems in a relationship with a mime , but at least his actions speak louder than his words.( bad joke I know just trying to make a point). Anyone can talk but Few keep their words, I really hate people like that.

I’m also a type of person who likes to keep things fresh. I like to keep my partner on their tip toes. I like to keep them guessing on what I’m going to do next. One of the secrets to a good relationship is not to let it get stale. Many couples fall into a routine,doing the same thing’s over and over again. It’s like at the beginning the guy does everything he can to get the girl but once he gets her, he get’s uncreative and does the same thing over and over again. Hey relationships and life are about variety. Personally I’m not the guy that would follow the standard procedure aka where the guy gets a girl flowers and chocolates. Personally I would come up with a more creative idea such as mystery grab bag, which is a hallmark gift bag filled with such goodies such a chocolates,a lottery ticket,a pez dispenser,make up kit,a good book etc. Yeah I like to separate myself from the herd , don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with giving a girl flowers and chocolates, but to me it sounds redundant and over used.

Anyways I have a dog named aries a sheltie mix and 6 zebra finches (birds). Going to school to become a nutritionist , I love food and cooking(if only I had enough time to devote to it) but my major career goal is in aviation . I love flying and traveling all around the world, my mom tells me when I was baby and we were on a plane the only thing that came out of my mouth was ,¨ I want fly the plane) this was of course in Portuguese as I came to states when I was 3. I think this travelling fetish probably had to do with going to portugal every year as a kid.. My parents have a house there and every summer we would go there. My parents have tons of property there that they take care of( like picking grapes,almonds oranges, and getting the soil properly fertilized ect.) So i would help them and i made friends with other Portuguese and other kids who came from other parts of europe(france,germany,switzerland,spain,netherlands)so somehow i became fixated with travelling.

Anyways hoping to meet someone where we cant start out as buddies as I believe when you date someone expectations are high, you put to much pressure on date. I believe getting to know someone over a long period time (as friends) can tell if your right for each other. Hey when you go on date you or you date may have had a bad day and that may leave an undesirable impression. Anyways sorry im not good at this writing thing but if your interested feel free to write back. Oh yeah one more thing heres my list of favorite movies,tv shows, board games ,video games and other gibberish.

Favorite movies: platoon, sniper, napoleon dynamite,clerks(1 and 2),breakfast club,fast times at ridgemonte high, Harold and kumar, bill and ted excellent adventure,a very brady sequel adventure,transformers the movie,anger management,not another teen movie, karate kid 1,2, rocky III, rocky balboa, home alone 1 and 2, problem child 1 and 2,chucky, nightmare on elm street (all of them),searching for bobby fischer,ferris buellers day off,the crow, ghostbusters,E.T., star wars(all of them), star trek(all movies) the lost boys,goonies,the outsiders,back to the future(1 and 2),a very brady sequel.last of the Mohicans,lord of the flies,stand by me,Goodwill hunting,searching for bobby fischer, Indiana jones,little nicky,Brewster millions,billy Madison,enter the dragon,dodgeball,hitch,therock,ratatouille and gremlins( all 3 movies).

Favorite childhood shows and current favorites; kung fu,sledgehammer,bewitched,zoobilee zoo,gomer pyle,adventures of pete and pete,saved by the bell,the transformers,king of queens, the honeymooners,Seinfeld,the Bernie mac show smurfs,transformers,gi joe,get along gang,pacman, the shirt-tales, force five, Mindfreaks,starblazers,voltron,beavis and butthead, Webster, punky Brewster,different strokes, all in the family, baby looney tunes, batman:animated adventures, teenwolf,snorks,doug,rugrats,spongebob,malcom in the middle,smallville, Garfield and friends,rugrats,supernatural,everbody loves Raymond, Johny zero, last comic standing( seasons 2 and 3),the littles,Alvin and the chipmunks, heathcliff,wait till your father gets home, mr.belvidere,home improvement,dennis the menace,little archie, yogibear,flinstones,aqua hunger teen force, reno911,chappelle show, you cant do that on television, heman and the masters of the universe,gobots,ducktales,silver spoons, chip and dale, the Charlie brown show,alf, fat albert,the munsters,leave it to beaver, spiderman and his amazing friends,bewitched,teenage mutant ninja turtles, Kirby, dragonball z, battle of the planets,muppet babies, the muppets,Richie rich, angel,buffy the vampire slayer,stargate, family ties,wonder years,the highlander,airwolf,hey Arnold,knightrider,family guy,facts of life,happy days,Baywatch, parker lewis cant lose,brady bunch, life goes on,tour of duty,thundercats,alice,golden girls,Sanford and son,happy days,one day at time,facts of life,the fall guy,welcome back kotter, threes company,perfect strangers,mask,ghostbuster,growing pains,I love lucy,whos the boss,small wonder,Kirby,dragonball z,avatar,alf,quantum leap,Laverne and Shirley,simpsons,I think I should stop now cause ive got like a 100 more shows lol.

Favorite board games: operation,life, battleship,chess,chutes and ladders,hungry hungry hippo, mouse trap and of course chess!!!.

Favorite music bands: skid row( 18 and life), def leppard, toto,motley crue,poison,guns and roses,bon jovi,warrant, van halen, Madonna, new kids on the block(just joking )whitesnake,nirvana, Duran Duran,pink floyd.

Best song: ordinary world(duran duran),Africa(toto). House of fire(Alice Cooper)

Best tv show theme song: welcome back kotter, adventures of pete and pete,dukes of hazard.

Favorite sport: tetherball and dodgeball lol

Favorite wrestlers : curt henning,randy savage,raven,Hulk Hogan, owen hart,kurt angle,the rock.

Favorite cereals:cocoa pebbles,cocoa puffs, count chocula,golden grams,apple jacks.

Favorite gum: bazooka joe grape, great tasting gum, comes with a a comic and tells your fortune ,what can ask more from a gum. lol

Favorite movie and tv characters: Bruce lee,master,Quinn Mallory,Po,Gizmo,gonzo,slimer(ghostbusters)fozzie bear,gargamel,archie bunker, boom boom Washington,juan Epstein,alf, AC slater,ferris bueller, zach morris,angel,spongebob,Charlie brown,Duncan mcleod brainysmurf,spiderman,macgyver,Donald duck,Winnie the pooh,tigger,jughead jones, sam and dean Winchester(supernatural) lex luthor(smallville), green arrow ,Michael knight(smallville),jeff spicolli,batman, randall (clerks)kara(smallville),destro,cobra commander, white shadow,major blood,pete and pete,endless mike,batman,roscoe Coltrane,orko,daisy dukes.

Favorite transformers: starscream,galvatron,megatron,stunticons,aerialbots,dinobots,combaticons,omega supreme,shockwave,soundwave,cyclonus,rumble.

Favorite romantic things to do: I know this gonna sound lame, but I think cuddling up with someone on a couch with a cup of hot chocolate , watching a movie or Saturday cartoons together is romantic, otherwise nothing beats a walk on the beach followed with a picnic,or a hot air ballon ride. Oh yeah this might not be so romantic but it would be cool to go to a magic workshop with someone and learn to to do magic together. You know practice with each other.

All time favorite video games: animal crossing( this game totally cracks me up :)
Mike tysons punch out,Zelda,castlevania, super mario3, tecmo bowl,san andreas,tekken 5,Grand theft auto 4.

By the way does anyone remember lasertag and photon?

Also does anyone remember collecting garbagepail kids?

Also does anyone remember teddy ruxpin?

Hey anyone have or had the smurfs pvc’s?( the little plastic smurfs) I remember playing with them and along with the transformers,gi joe,he-man toys , they rocked!!!!!!!!!

Slinkys also kick ass!!!

Smurfs or snorks?

Vinny Barbarino or Fonzie?

Bo Duke or Luke Duke?

Kitt or General Lee?

Anyone ever solve Rubicks cube?.... I know obviously theres a trick to it … the only trick I know is peeling off the stickers and placing them back on..lol!


Who do you think got higher SAT scores Samuel “Screech” Powers or Steve Urkel?

Anyone besides me wants to see NBC bring back Alf?... I have all the seasons on dvd and I tell you he’s one frickin funny dude?

Oh one more thing did anyone remember trying to break dance back in the day? … I remember getting an empty cardboard box and trying to spin on my head all while listening to a big stereo system.… lol those were the fun days ;)

Top 50 reasons to date me - 32 (Grand Rapids)

TOP FIFTY REASONS TO DATE ME

Hello! Are you a reasonably attractive, physically fit female aged 23-33, residing in the Grand Rapids area? Then I have a deal for you!

One adult human male -- a prime specimen -- is now available for your every pleasure. In no particular order, herewith the top 50 reasons why I'm such a great catch:

1. Very low maintenance and zero drama.
2. Manners? I always hold the door and can even differentiate tableware.
3. I actually listen when people talk to me. Even women, and even when they use "the voice."
4. I'm not pushy, especially with regard to physical intimacy. What happens, happens.
5. Going to an out-of-the-way ethnic restaurant or upscale dining establishment is usually preferable to the same-old chain stuff.
6. I go to the gym regularly, mostly to run.
7. I'll give you a hug and wipe your tears when you need to cry.
8. I dance like an epileptic cat being beaten with an electric cattle prod, but that doesn't stop me from trying.
9. I'm 32, 5'10", about 170 lbs., with brown hair, greenish eyes, and a dignified Roman nose.
10. What, me, sarcastic? Perish the thought. I'm more of a "dry wit" or "bad pun" sort of fellow.
11. I never, never, never use personal preferences as a wedge in a relationship.
12. A good Catholic boy, I go to church on Sunday and even volunteer in various liturgical ministries for my home parish and for the diocese.
13. A goal for this winter -- to actually finish the novel I've got half-written.
14. No drugs, no diseases, no smoking. Almost never drink to excess. Oh, and wine > beer.
15. Seriously, packing up for a spontaneous three-day trip, with no itinerary, rocks.
16. I actually ENJOY talking about our relationship. It keeps things on an even keel and avoids the need for volcanic eruptions of misplaced anger or the pain of mismatched expectations.
17. Perfection: Sitting at the end of the pier in Grand Haven, watching the sun set over Lake Michigan, wrapped in silent embrace.
18. I shower, religiously.
19. Sports ... I'd rather DO than WATCH. So don't bore me with the minutiae of sports stats.
20. I drive aggressively, except when it freaks you out. Then I'll just give you a blindfold. I do, after all, have a perfect safety record on the road. So stop whining and hold on.
21. I cook. I bake. I clean. Except, I have a visceral hatred for laundry, for some reason.
22. No tats or piercings, although I'm opposed to neither.
23. I fix things.
24. I'm my own person, and expect that you are, too. Codependency blows.
25. Animals ... I grew up with dogs, cats, birds, fish, horses -- and like them all. Even snakes and tarantulas, although I don't have any. That nothwithstanding, I don't really understand the point of small dogs.
26. Staying current on the news is important to me. See #35 for rationale.
27. If an evildoer attempts to thwart you, I'll use my martial-arts skills to save the day. Unless, of course, you prefer to kick his ass yourself. Which would be *way* sexy.
28. Emotional intimacy turns me on. Healthy emotional intimacy drives me wild.
29. I'm in perfect physical health.
30. Logic and rationality are my bread and butter.
31. Pair-bonding is significant. I'll always, ALWAYS have your back. No exceptions. Ever.
32. Not only am I an ethical person, but I have an honest-to-goodness college degree in moral philosophy.
33. I won't screen your calls just because I'm busy. Only if I have my ringer off. Which happens a lot. Sorry!
34. I like children and want some of my own.
35. Meaningful conversation is the highest form of casual human social activity, so I try to keep in practice.
36. I understand that sustained, gentle touching to places other than the genitals is almost always more erotic than just throwing it in for 3.5 minutes and falling asleep. And no, I'm not a 3.5-minute wonder.
37. Yes, I actually ENJOY the symphony, ballet, shows, museums, and other sources of culture and high art. Honest. In fact, I prefer them to the same-old bar/club scene.
38. I sorta play the piano. I even sing (albeit like an American Idol day-one reject).
39. By the time I turn 40, I will have visited every continent at least once. Perhaps even Antarctica.
40. I work as a health-care statistician by day, and as a freelance writer by night. Unfortunately, neither job supplies me with a cool superhero uniform.
41. You have male friends? Cool. I have female friends (several close ones, in fact).
42. Mediocrity and risk aversion bore me.
43. I read frequently. And write frequently. Fluently, in English, and not-so-fluently, in Latin. And I'm something of a grammar nazi, but I try not to be too annoying about it.
44. Yes, I really am secure in my manhood. I've dated some very beautiful and smart women in my time, and it usually ends quite amicably. Oh, and I'm bisexual, and have dated some phenomenal men, too. I know who I am, and what I'm worth, and am in no mood to settle.
45. I actually notice when you do something different with your hair.
46. I leave big tips and round to the nearest dollar. Seriously ... leaving coin for the server? Lame.
47. Sending flowers to your office for no formal reason makes me happy.
48. I blog for fun.
49. I feel funny when I can't hold your bags while shopping.
50. You appreciate and understand that the inflated self-importance on display in this ad is merely a tactic designed to differentiate me from the unimaginative, boring guys here, and is in no way a true reflection of the actual size of my ego.

Hurry, supplies are limited -- grab me while I'm still available! Limited manufacturer's warranty available for a small extra charge. Satisfaction guaranteed or the first date is free.

The Girl Friend Application+ - 21 (South Eastern Idaho )

Hello thank you for looking

ok Im tired of this being alone stuff spending a
friday or saturday night alone really sucks.
So Im coming to Craigs List to give it a try.
Yeah Im alittle/alot shy at first but I open up when
you give me a chance. I cannot stand rude,selfish,mean
people so if your like that no thanks.
To make this interesting & fun
(im not try to make a joke out of this)
Ive come up with a THE GIRL FRIEND Application
please copy paste fill out and send it to me.
Please send a pic as well. All I ask is for
your honesty. I will send you my aswners once I get yours.
I am looking for a long-term serious relationship but also
a friend :). I consider myself a good listener,very romantic ok
a very hopeless romantic sometimes, respectful,kind,& cuddle-able.
Ive kinda had bad luck in relationships but still optimistic.


Wow this is long lol I hope to hear from you soon.



+ THE GIRL FRIEND APPLICATION +



=Name:

=Age:

=Current City of Residence:

=Hometown/Home state:

=Currently Employed: Yes or No ?

=Current Education status/College or univ.?:

=MATERIAL STATUS:

-Single & seeking long term boyfriend relationship-
-Just Single seeking whatever the future holds
-Its Confusing-
-Divorced-
*Note Please no married ladies

=Favorite Music:
Country
Hip and the Hop
Rock Rock Rock
Classical
Oldies

=Religion?:

=Life Goals:

=Please describe your prefect date?:

=Please describe your dream first kiss?:

=Please describe what is love to you?:




Thank you for your time