Ignoble Deviled Egg Inquisitions Green Eggs & Ham Coquette - 29 (Disney)

Are you a muse to Dr. Suess? I need you. I can't coagulate my deviled egg recipe without an indelible spitfire to help me create a counteractant to eliminate adult diaper rash and premature ejaculation. We can cohere on a platonic, quasi erotic or hyper enlightened level for jollity on a sporadic or periodic basis. Actually, I really have no idea what I need. A loutish coquette with mental and emotional balance, an enigmatic disposition and an affinity for getting moist down below at the slightest adumbration of copulation between two animate objects and the olfactory whiff of deviled eggs and pre-smoked ham would be sufficiently jubilant.

I like to matriculate sultry comestible nymphomaniacs. It sounds so delicious that I salivate at the notion of deviously inveigling you while slowing devouring a bucket of chicken. I gravitate towards pretty girls with cyber-sex addictions abstruse to free online forums. I optimistically contemplate the opportunity of making you laugh to the point of wetting yourself in public. Don't let my thralldom to vernacular discharge contradict my desire to obtain deeply spiritual or mutually enlightening relationships with lascivious wanna be gonzo pornstars and diabolic youtube video vixens. All I really ask is that you know how to make green eggs and lick ham. There's no need to tell me about how tired you are of reading ads without feeling the compulsion to rub yourself continuously moist and dumbed with phrenic euphoria.

It's true. I live in the modernist purgatory euphemistically called Chicago. I'm in my late 20's and I'm tall. I have a predilection for wet women. Call me an artist. I like drawing faces of dainty damsels and making them squirt with cachinnation at the exploitation of deviled eggs and the iridescence of processed foods, sex toys and edible clothing. Amenable coquettish quasi-harlots are encouraged to apply within...


It's like someone used a thesaurus, put their post into BabelFish translator, and then whipped out their thesaurus again. Genius?
Bonus points for using the word "phrenic" in a sentence, even if I'm not convinced that he used it correctly intentionally.