Drama Driven Relatoinship - 30 (Baton Rouge)

I’m seeking a like-minded woman with whom to share a disastrous 3 to 9 month relationship, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings.

My name is James. I live in Baton Rouge, I’m 30 years old, fairly well educated, and I hold down a good job and am pretty stable. I’m told I’m fairly good looking, but I’ll let you be the judge of that. I’m generally caring and very honest.

I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise, and devotion - but whose paranoia, self-loathing, and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the inevitable emotional breakdown of one or the other party - or, if we’re lucky, both!

You should:

be 25 to 35 years old;
have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships;
enjoy degrading and dehumanizing sex within the first minutes of meeting;
have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past; and
be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon to control your partner and make them stay with you and care for you.
Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women:

with nice smiles;
who have larger than average breasts;
who are married or already in unstable relationships;
who drink to forget; and
who have had a previous established diagnosis of borderline or dependent personality disorder or bipolar affective disorder - or who are currently taking lithium carbonate, SSRIs, or tricyclic antidepressants.

If you think you meet these requirements (and wow, I’m getting excited just writing them!), please don’t hesitate to get back to me as soon as possible. In the meantime, thank you for reading my advert, and do take care.

All the best

Ironic Craigslist posts FTW

This man is a dream.