I don't have a car.
I don't have a job.
I don't go to College.
I am poor.
I am skinny as hell.
I am boring.
I am lazy.
I am emotionally distraught by the turn of events that has been bestowed upon me.
I am suffering from many debilitating illnesses.
"But all you need is love!"
Phfft...suuuure.
The day a woman looks past material wealth and sees me for who I am? Prolly the same day as the Apocalypse.
Prove me wrong.
I am handsome, I'll never lie, cheat or steal and I'll make sure you always feel loved & wanted.
-crickets chirp-
-tumbleweed rolls by-
Well I tried.
29 October 2008
OLD COW-POKE NEEDS SADDLE ASAP!!!! - M4W - 59 (Muskegon)
OLD COW-POKE NEEDS SADDLE ASAP!!!
Dead or Alive saddle for Steed for permanent part-time butt, a good time (VERY).
Required for temporary riding butt, may need for long term. I'ma lookin'fer a saddle that is currently owned by Fillies ONLY!!!!! My rope don't swing thatr way.
Condition as follows:
1. Gently used butt, not abused (may consid-her)
2. Must be comfortable to the touch & feel.
3. Well oiled or at least cums with container of polishing liquid.
4. Cleaned, perfumed and or powdered before or upon delivery.
5. Not ever been around smoke or been injected with non-prescribed drugs.
6. Sizes accepted: all sizes will be considered
7. Must be flexible (in more ways than one).
8. Crate must not be over 72" tall (I get vertigo)
9. Will not accept one with animal droppings or the like.
10. Prefer made in U.S.A. Others will be tested for fit.
11. If dead, I have the proper suave to revive it.
12. No more than 60 or less than 30 yrs old. Other ages will be considered.
13. Horn size: the bigger the better (I love BIG Hooters)
As always, when jumpin’ on ‘er on I always do it VERY slow and methodical as to not to hurt ‘er.
I promise that during every ride, I will treat it gently and after every use that I will
re-condition it with my own special home made treatment made from tounge-oil.
I will accept offers from Kents and Ottawa counties only.
DE-livery instructions: I can pick 'er up, meat 'er half-way. or I'd be willin' to pay C(lit) O(oral).D(dick. If a deposit is needed, I WILL provide it.
By the by they call me Slim or (re) Pete or Tex (I have a big heart 'n my steed ain't too small, neither), or Slow-Poke or Stretch or the Long Range-Her Whatever y'll call me, don't yer call me "Late fer Vittles" Jest to be clear I'm only interested in saddles owned by Fillies. So if yer not a Filly, then go back to yer own side of the fence.
Dead or Alive saddle for Steed for permanent part-time butt, a good time (VERY).
Required for temporary riding butt, may need for long term. I'ma lookin'fer a saddle that is currently owned by Fillies ONLY!!!!! My rope don't swing thatr way.
Condition as follows:
1. Gently used butt, not abused (may consid-her)
2. Must be comfortable to the touch & feel.
3. Well oiled or at least cums with container of polishing liquid.
4. Cleaned, perfumed and or powdered before or upon delivery.
5. Not ever been around smoke or been injected with non-prescribed drugs.
6. Sizes accepted: all sizes will be considered
7. Must be flexible (in more ways than one).
8. Crate must not be over 72" tall (I get vertigo)
9. Will not accept one with animal droppings or the like.
10. Prefer made in U.S.A. Others will be tested for fit.
11. If dead, I have the proper suave to revive it.
12. No more than 60 or less than 30 yrs old. Other ages will be considered.
13. Horn size: the bigger the better (I love BIG Hooters)
As always, when jumpin’ on ‘er on I always do it VERY slow and methodical as to not to hurt ‘er.
I promise that during every ride, I will treat it gently and after every use that I will
re-condition it with my own special home made treatment made from tounge-oil.
I will accept offers from Kents and Ottawa counties only.
DE-livery instructions: I can pick 'er up, meat 'er half-way. or I'd be willin' to pay C(lit) O(oral).D(dick. If a deposit is needed, I WILL provide it.
By the by they call me Slim or (re) Pete or Tex (I have a big heart 'n my steed ain't too small, neither), or Slow-Poke or Stretch or the Long Range-Her Whatever y'll call me, don't yer call me "Late fer Vittles" Jest to be clear I'm only interested in saddles owned by Fillies. So if yer not a Filly, then go back to yer own side of the fence.
28 October 2008
No Fatties, Drunks, Republicans, or Gnarly Faced Missoula Gnomes - 32 (Missoula)
apologize whole heartedly if that hurt your feelings....but if it did...please dont respond.
I am truly looking for a very specific type of girl.
Gorgeous face a must, amazing hair a plus, hair down below preferred (no baldies), athletic or thin or normal (not average), peace loving, Dem or Lib, educated, fun loving, non drunk, loves my family, loves humor, loves not drinking every night, hates the bar, loves music, loves adventure, loves food, loves travel, forgives easily, laughs like someone that should be locked up, loves any event that gets you outside and your cheecks chilly and then inside to enjoy smiling and warming up, healthy sex drive, must like oral and have NO hangups in the bedroom-or anywhere else,be free thinking, be spiritual....
and most of all. dont be broken. Be able to fall.....
I am truly looking for a very specific type of girl.
Gorgeous face a must, amazing hair a plus, hair down below preferred (no baldies), athletic or thin or normal (not average), peace loving, Dem or Lib, educated, fun loving, non drunk, loves my family, loves humor, loves not drinking every night, hates the bar, loves music, loves adventure, loves food, loves travel, forgives easily, laughs like someone that should be locked up, loves any event that gets you outside and your cheecks chilly and then inside to enjoy smiling and warming up, healthy sex drive, must like oral and have NO hangups in the bedroom-or anywhere else,be free thinking, be spiritual....
and most of all. dont be broken. Be able to fall.....
27 October 2008
You know you have big tits when - 27 (london)
1/ You sometimes think they belong to someone else
2/ A and B (cups...) are not in your vocabulary
3/ Your alphabet starts with C, and DD is a letter in your alphabet
4/ You just can't stop saying "I said look at me in the eyes. No, up"
5/ You wear great cleavages and can't stand that men look at them in the tube or in the street
6/ You make your friends so jealous of you, even them stare at your boobs all the time
7/ Even if the rest of your body is just ok, you know you can have mainly all the men you want with you because of them
8/ You like playing with them and you wonder how much they weight
9/ Unfortunately, your back hurts a bit, but it definitely worths it
10/ You're browsing Craigslist hoping a real big tit lover will appreciate you, and not only for your big ones. Also for your sense of humour...
2/ A and B (cups...) are not in your vocabulary
3/ Your alphabet starts with C, and DD is a letter in your alphabet
4/ You just can't stop saying "I said look at me in the eyes. No, up"
5/ You wear great cleavages and can't stand that men look at them in the tube or in the street
6/ You make your friends so jealous of you, even them stare at your boobs all the time
7/ Even if the rest of your body is just ok, you know you can have mainly all the men you want with you because of them
8/ You like playing with them and you wonder how much they weight
9/ Unfortunately, your back hurts a bit, but it definitely worths it
10/ You're browsing Craigslist hoping a real big tit lover will appreciate you, and not only for your big ones. Also for your sense of humour...
26 October 2008
conservative, saved,cant seem to find, who I'm lookin for!!! 35-49 - 49 (west mi)
It seems that life is passing by, and oft times I must wonder why, my dreams and hopes are fading fast, no time to dwell upon the past........... to find the one God has for me, is really my desire, but life it seems has often had me stuck into the mire,..............................about the time I'm back on track a few more years are lost, ...its really such a pity when I think about the cost....
... Looking for a saved, conservative, bible believing,christian lady, attractive inside,out, who understands life is but a vapor, and knows the reason God has us here, PEACE
... Looking for a saved, conservative, bible believing,christian lady, attractive inside,out, who understands life is but a vapor, and knows the reason God has us here, PEACE
Do you like musicians??? - 37 (Lapeer)
Hello,, Hello,, Well do you like live music and like to have fun?? Then this add is for you,, cause i'm Mr. Fun. I have a great sense of humor, love kids, single for sure and all around good guy. I don't live with my mom,, i live with my Dad.. Just kidding. I'm playing at Fatboys in Lapeer Oct. 31st and Nov. !st. Holloween weekend,, so come see me ( naughty costumes encouraged ). I'll be dressed as a clown or Batman,,, I can't decide.
Craig AKA MR. Fun
Craig AKA MR. Fun
23 October 2008
Even An ATTACHED WOMAN Deserves Some Happiness - 55 (Westfield)
Divorced, Good Looking WM 55 seeking a MWF who needs some happiness in her life too. 5'9" 170# brn/brn
I am not looking for a LTR at the moment,,but who knows what will happen when we meet,,,I am looking for a woman who wants passion and lust in her life.
Please let me know,,so we can BOTH be happy.
I am not looking for a LTR at the moment,,but who knows what will happen when we meet,,,I am looking for a woman who wants passion and lust in her life.
Please let me know,,so we can BOTH be happy.
generous guy desires to be your submissive ass licker tonight - 40 (nj)
Yes, I am for real. I am generous, white and a white collar professional. I desire to give you donation and just humbly lick your ass. I am for real. I can host or travel.
21 October 2008
SEEKING A CUTIE FOR POLITICAL DISCOURSE - 33 (kingsland, ga)
Hi!
So I am sure you are in the same boat as I am... Wondering how successful, intelligent, kind, and caring people find themselves in the postion we are... Searching craigslist looking for a friend...
Well don't be discouraged! There are millions of people just like us without an effective way to market ourselves (other than crappy bars or church - but who goes to church to get a date?)
Anyway.. I would love to meet a nice and intelligent person to talk to.. Maybe more, etc...
I am most eager to discuss politics:) Also, please be up to date with the financial crisis... A HUGE bonus would be if you are techie:) I got a new Iphone and need someone to show me how it works:)
ok.. so try to send a picture.. And I will certainly reciprocate..
Oh... And I am very selective on the intelligence part.. Please try to be older than 22 too.. Otherwise you probably don't have enough life experience ot make the conversation interesting! (but you could try to prove me wrong).
Cheers!
So I am sure you are in the same boat as I am... Wondering how successful, intelligent, kind, and caring people find themselves in the postion we are... Searching craigslist looking for a friend...
Well don't be discouraged! There are millions of people just like us without an effective way to market ourselves (other than crappy bars or church - but who goes to church to get a date?)
Anyway.. I would love to meet a nice and intelligent person to talk to.. Maybe more, etc...
I am most eager to discuss politics:) Also, please be up to date with the financial crisis... A HUGE bonus would be if you are techie:) I got a new Iphone and need someone to show me how it works:)
ok.. so try to send a picture.. And I will certainly reciprocate..
Oh... And I am very selective on the intelligence part.. Please try to be older than 22 too.. Otherwise you probably don't have enough life experience ot make the conversation interesting! (but you could try to prove me wrong).
Cheers!
20 October 2008
Cute Guy With Depth And Brains - 22 (Brooklyn park)
First let me say im sry this is so damn long lol!!! but really read it all or atleast skim threw most its who I am tells a lot about me and if u don’t read it all don’t bother to msg me cause that just shows you’re just fooling around and don’t care or know what u want. im a great guy and if you take the time and get to know me you wouldn’t regret it. im a dieing bread of shivery and respect and good relationship values.
im luke im a 22 year old white male from around Brooklyn park area. by far not a yo boy in anyways lol.. not a red neck but more of a country boy at heart if ya know what I mean. anyways im down to earth easy going very easy to talk to and listen very well I never judge cause its not my place to and we never know why people are the way they are and we don’t have to like them but shouldn’t judge them. so, anyways im a huge goofball but I know when to settle down and shut up, I have a HUGE sense of humor but its not to the point where I make everything a joke in life ya u know what I mean. I have a great big heart and my worst problem, im not going to lie is that I get attached to easy and most of the time I get crushed in the end, not saying im clingy or anyways crazy shit like that trust me lol, I just have a lot of love to give I guess. also im not looking to get married next week or w/e I just want to meet a sweet down to earth girl who is pretty funny very witty like I am. I love a girl who can keep up with my Sarcasm because that’s a lot of my humor and witty Sarcasm and just plain crazy goofy lol, but anyways like I was saying not looking to get married next week but I want to meet that right girl and maybe head down that way if u know what I mean. im not big headed but im very smart I like building computers and other things like dirt bikes or w/e im a hands on type of guy. by next yea I will be a cop in balitmore city then I plan to go back to school and get my degrees in criminal justice and go to state trooper and then you know move up from there. im not perfect a goody goody if that’s what ur thinking, iv had my crazy days but im not that party guy get drunk fight steal get high and w/e els I use to be thought I still to like to have fun, so im not gona be a uptight pig. I love the outdore, camping, hiking shit like that. I love dogs a lot I want a few of them cats are ok but I wouldn’t get one myself. I plan to have after years a nice wife a few kids and 2 GORGEOUS huskys and maybe a malamute as well lol.. just my dream, the way iv always seen myself growing old. umm other things im not a jesus freak don’t really go to church thought id like to at some point start going again I mean im not huge on god and stuff but I do believe in him. also I love kids there fun as hell to me cause at times im a big kid at heart so I connect well with them, and I grew up in a HUGE family with lots of little ones so iv baby sat my fare share I no how to deal with them, just refuse to change there dipers cause ewww who want touch baby doodoo that gross man. umm trying to think of something els here, im a huge cuddle freak!! I know that’s random as hell in thisd msg meaning it should be at some other part of it but just thought I should throw one in there lol. oh ok and im a big family person even thought mine sucks and don’t give 2 rats ass’s about me lol, I want a big family of my own one day and I want it to be stable and well provided for and a lot of stability because growing up I never had these things and want to give them to my family indef. like I was said b4 im not perfect I guess but I have an GOD!! an ocean of depth a world of heart and im hard to understand sometimes but I always mean well and I have a pure heart 100% and I think that’s what counts most thought I think a lot of these things being looked for died in the 40s lol, im hoping hell im praying for one more beautiful woman out there to be for me that looking for a guy like this, who I am and I bring and what I want to have... anyways if I sound like the type of guy ud like to get to know more about then msg me and send me a pic cause lets not bs looks do matter to some point ya know. and also send me a link to ur myspace and ur AIM sn and we can take it from there.. its just easyer talk from them cause who checks there e-mail like that anymore lol..
P.S: please NO LIERS AND CHEATER AND CHICKs THAT JUST LIKE TO PLAY HEAD GAMES AND GO FOR THE DRAMA B.S. NO ONE AND NO LIFE IS PERFECT BUT I WANT TO LIVE A DRAMA FREE LIFE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND HAVE NO ROOM FOR STUPID BITCHS LIKE THAT…. THANKS
P.S 2: IM NOT RITCH AND HELL I PAY BILLS AND IM BROKE 90% OF THE TIME LOOKING FOR A BETTER JOB BUT STILL DON’T WANT A WOMAN THAT NEEDS A MAN TO HAVE A RIDE AND EASY SPENDING CASH TO BE INTO HIM, THAT NOT HOW I WANT THINGS TO BE. I WILL MAKE WAY BETTER MONEY SOME DAY BUT THAT DAYS NOT TODAY AND I WANT A GIRL THAT CAN RESPECT THAT AND CARE FOR ME ANYWAYS. AND I DON’T LET WOMAN PAY FOR ME SO FORGET THAT TOO, WHEN IM MARRIED AND SPLIT THE PILLS THAT’S ONE THING BUT WELL U GET THE DRIFT IM SURE….
P.S 3: I I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY ABOUT HOW PEOPLE SHOULD ACT AND UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU’RE IN A REAL RELATIONSHIP. 1ST NO GOD DAMN LIEING, NO LITTLE LIES NO OH HE/SHE DON’T FIND OUT AND WONT HURT THEM LIES, NO LITTLE WHITE LIE, NO MAKING UP STORYS TO MAKE URSELF SOUND COOL, NO ENBELISHING CAUSE NO MATTER HOW SMALL YOU THINK IT IS LIEING IS LIEING AND IT MAKES PEOPLE NOT TRUST YOU BECAUSE WHERE DAS IT END AND NO ONE CAN READ YOU’RE MIND, I DON’T LIE AND I KNOW I DON’T GIVE SECOND CHANCES WHEN IT COMES TO LIEING OR CHEATING. 2ND HAVING GUY/FEMALE FRIENDS OF OPASIT SEX WHEN YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP IS JUST FINE AND NO ONE SHOULD TELL YOU WHO YOU CAN AND CANT HANG OUT WITH OR TALK TO BUT ITS VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO HANG OUT WITH THEM ALONE WITHOUT UR B/F G/F THERE BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY SHOULD TRUST YOU PEOPLE DO SHIT AND THERES FREE WILL LEVEING ROOM TO CHEAT AND THESE THINGS SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO COME UP IN A RELATINSHIP AND YOU JUST SHOULD’NT PUT UR B/F G/F W/E IN THE POSITION TO WHERE THEY MIGHT THINK OF THESE THINGS AND I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH LOVE AND TRUST THERE IS SHIT HAPPEN AGAIN WE ARE HUMAN AND NO ONE CAN REALLY TRULLY KNOW’S FOR SURE. AFTER 30 YEARS OF BEING MARRIED PEOPLE CHEAT WITH NO WARING’S HUSBANDS/WIVES NEVER NEW THERE WAS A PROB SO DON’T GIVE ME THE YOU SHOULD TRUST ME B.S CAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS BULLSHIT! AND SOMETIMES EVEN THE SOBER EYE OF REASOM MUST ASUME THE ASPECT OF HELL.. I WOUDLNT HANG OUT WITH A FEMALE ALONE WHEN IM WITH SOMONE AND I WOULDN’T DEAL WITH IT FROM YOU EATHER.. ITS JUST RESPECT NOT TRUST ISSUES..
LAST P.S Kristen i know ur reading this and anything els i most u freak nugget, just wanted to say one last time and read close and and let it sink it, FUCK YOU!!!! lol
im luke im a 22 year old white male from around Brooklyn park area. by far not a yo boy in anyways lol.. not a red neck but more of a country boy at heart if ya know what I mean. anyways im down to earth easy going very easy to talk to and listen very well I never judge cause its not my place to and we never know why people are the way they are and we don’t have to like them but shouldn’t judge them. so, anyways im a huge goofball but I know when to settle down and shut up, I have a HUGE sense of humor but its not to the point where I make everything a joke in life ya u know what I mean. I have a great big heart and my worst problem, im not going to lie is that I get attached to easy and most of the time I get crushed in the end, not saying im clingy or anyways crazy shit like that trust me lol, I just have a lot of love to give I guess. also im not looking to get married next week or w/e I just want to meet a sweet down to earth girl who is pretty funny very witty like I am. I love a girl who can keep up with my Sarcasm because that’s a lot of my humor and witty Sarcasm and just plain crazy goofy lol, but anyways like I was saying not looking to get married next week but I want to meet that right girl and maybe head down that way if u know what I mean. im not big headed but im very smart I like building computers and other things like dirt bikes or w/e im a hands on type of guy. by next yea I will be a cop in balitmore city then I plan to go back to school and get my degrees in criminal justice and go to state trooper and then you know move up from there. im not perfect a goody goody if that’s what ur thinking, iv had my crazy days but im not that party guy get drunk fight steal get high and w/e els I use to be thought I still to like to have fun, so im not gona be a uptight pig. I love the outdore, camping, hiking shit like that. I love dogs a lot I want a few of them cats are ok but I wouldn’t get one myself. I plan to have after years a nice wife a few kids and 2 GORGEOUS huskys and maybe a malamute as well lol.. just my dream, the way iv always seen myself growing old. umm other things im not a jesus freak don’t really go to church thought id like to at some point start going again I mean im not huge on god and stuff but I do believe in him. also I love kids there fun as hell to me cause at times im a big kid at heart so I connect well with them, and I grew up in a HUGE family with lots of little ones so iv baby sat my fare share I no how to deal with them, just refuse to change there dipers cause ewww who want touch baby doodoo that gross man. umm trying to think of something els here, im a huge cuddle freak!! I know that’s random as hell in thisd msg meaning it should be at some other part of it but just thought I should throw one in there lol. oh ok and im a big family person even thought mine sucks and don’t give 2 rats ass’s about me lol, I want a big family of my own one day and I want it to be stable and well provided for and a lot of stability because growing up I never had these things and want to give them to my family indef. like I was said b4 im not perfect I guess but I have an GOD!! an ocean of depth a world of heart and im hard to understand sometimes but I always mean well and I have a pure heart 100% and I think that’s what counts most thought I think a lot of these things being looked for died in the 40s lol, im hoping hell im praying for one more beautiful woman out there to be for me that looking for a guy like this, who I am and I bring and what I want to have... anyways if I sound like the type of guy ud like to get to know more about then msg me and send me a pic cause lets not bs looks do matter to some point ya know. and also send me a link to ur myspace and ur AIM sn and we can take it from there.. its just easyer talk from them cause who checks there e-mail like that anymore lol..
P.S: please NO LIERS AND CHEATER AND CHICKs THAT JUST LIKE TO PLAY HEAD GAMES AND GO FOR THE DRAMA B.S. NO ONE AND NO LIFE IS PERFECT BUT I WANT TO LIVE A DRAMA FREE LIFE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND HAVE NO ROOM FOR STUPID BITCHS LIKE THAT…. THANKS
P.S 2: IM NOT RITCH AND HELL I PAY BILLS AND IM BROKE 90% OF THE TIME LOOKING FOR A BETTER JOB BUT STILL DON’T WANT A WOMAN THAT NEEDS A MAN TO HAVE A RIDE AND EASY SPENDING CASH TO BE INTO HIM, THAT NOT HOW I WANT THINGS TO BE. I WILL MAKE WAY BETTER MONEY SOME DAY BUT THAT DAYS NOT TODAY AND I WANT A GIRL THAT CAN RESPECT THAT AND CARE FOR ME ANYWAYS. AND I DON’T LET WOMAN PAY FOR ME SO FORGET THAT TOO, WHEN IM MARRIED AND SPLIT THE PILLS THAT’S ONE THING BUT WELL U GET THE DRIFT IM SURE….
P.S 3: I I HAVE SOME THINGS TO SAY ABOUT HOW PEOPLE SHOULD ACT AND UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU’RE IN A REAL RELATIONSHIP. 1ST NO GOD DAMN LIEING, NO LITTLE LIES NO OH HE/SHE DON’T FIND OUT AND WONT HURT THEM LIES, NO LITTLE WHITE LIE, NO MAKING UP STORYS TO MAKE URSELF SOUND COOL, NO ENBELISHING CAUSE NO MATTER HOW SMALL YOU THINK IT IS LIEING IS LIEING AND IT MAKES PEOPLE NOT TRUST YOU BECAUSE WHERE DAS IT END AND NO ONE CAN READ YOU’RE MIND, I DON’T LIE AND I KNOW I DON’T GIVE SECOND CHANCES WHEN IT COMES TO LIEING OR CHEATING. 2ND HAVING GUY/FEMALE FRIENDS OF OPASIT SEX WHEN YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP IS JUST FINE AND NO ONE SHOULD TELL YOU WHO YOU CAN AND CANT HANG OUT WITH OR TALK TO BUT ITS VERY DISRESPECTFUL TO HANG OUT WITH THEM ALONE WITHOUT UR B/F G/F THERE BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY SHOULD TRUST YOU PEOPLE DO SHIT AND THERES FREE WILL LEVEING ROOM TO CHEAT AND THESE THINGS SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO COME UP IN A RELATINSHIP AND YOU JUST SHOULD’NT PUT UR B/F G/F W/E IN THE POSITION TO WHERE THEY MIGHT THINK OF THESE THINGS AND I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH LOVE AND TRUST THERE IS SHIT HAPPEN AGAIN WE ARE HUMAN AND NO ONE CAN REALLY TRULLY KNOW’S FOR SURE. AFTER 30 YEARS OF BEING MARRIED PEOPLE CHEAT WITH NO WARING’S HUSBANDS/WIVES NEVER NEW THERE WAS A PROB SO DON’T GIVE ME THE YOU SHOULD TRUST ME B.S CAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS BULLSHIT! AND SOMETIMES EVEN THE SOBER EYE OF REASOM MUST ASUME THE ASPECT OF HELL.. I WOUDLNT HANG OUT WITH A FEMALE ALONE WHEN IM WITH SOMONE AND I WOULDN’T DEAL WITH IT FROM YOU EATHER.. ITS JUST RESPECT NOT TRUST ISSUES..
LAST P.S Kristen i know ur reading this and anything els i most u freak nugget, just wanted to say one last time and read close and and let it sink it, FUCK YOU!!!! lol
Hershey Brown looking for White Delight
Hi my name is Moose! Im 22 and I am a senior at The University of Baltimore. I am Pre-Law! and have a PHD( pretty huge dick) I like to go out in Towson, Fed Hill, Downtown. I'm looking for nothing serious right now. But if the right girl comes around i'm willing to take it long term. If you are interested in meeting up or hooking up please send a picture with your email! No crazies and no guys!! No virgins unless you are really really hot, and amazing with your mouth!
PhD? PHD? Roflmao.
PhD? PHD? Roflmao.
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - 24 (Towson/Jarrettsville)
Well I am open to all races as long as you are BEAUTIFUL.For some it is good for a change because they are stuck with the usual.You know people are caught up with the daily grind so they just tend to get boring and become plain.Besides who wants to see the same person each and every week. This creates a block and limits your capability.You start to think this is all I am capable of intill someone forces me to change or makes me see something differnt.Everybody is powerful in there own way they just have to be able to use it.That's why seeing someone diifernt no matter what there enthniticity is it's always good.People talk about what they always want but the fact is what can they bring to the table.For me I just like to have fun at this point in my life. It is good if you know at first what the other perons objective is. This creates and understanding leaving no room for error.Everybody wants to be happy and basically that's what i consider having fun.Now lets get to the important information, I am a sexy african american who happens to be highly confident, I always bring people up around me. I dont hang out with broke people, why if i did that would mean I am trying to be broke. I surround myself with wise men because I am one of them. Atleast I can say all of my friends have something outstanding about there character which tells something about me. I love the finer things in life I cant lie I grew up nice but i have seen more thant the above average person all sides of life.Some have only experienced one side so often they become biased which in some cases it is not there fault but they just dont know any better. This is why I am extrodinary I have seen every perspective there is to see, that's why I am on a mission I have alot of things that i am doing right now.I am setting myself up for the perfect shot therfore I wont miss any point that are owed to me. I am 5'8 light skinned I love to look good and everyone always says that I dress to impress. Which is true I impress myself and then comes you lol. It feels good to look nice. Your appearance is like an introduction, it determines if someone is going to read your book or just throw it back on the shelp with the rest of them.The fact is words can't explain me and whoever is reading this and got this far is obviously intersted and would like to see a picture of Me. I would love to send it.I only want serious women or more easily said women who know what they want as i said earlier this will elimate alot of errors which i dont have time for.I dont have time to figure out what you want you have to tell me how you want it. And you will get it even better, surprising huh.
19 October 2008
Seriously, why? - 22 (Chicago / Vernon Hills)
Is it really this hard to meet someone? I'm not asking for much in a woman, am I?
What I'm looking for a is a woman who will, this might sound odd, treat me right. I want a woman who wants to be with me, not someone who leaves me to my own devices, I want the woman to be able to make me feel special, make me feel that I'm their everything. This might sound odd to a few females out there, but I want a woman who will be clingy and doesn't mind being clung onto either. In the end, even though I don't have any experience with women, I know this is what I want in a relationship because of the things that have happened in my life.
About me...
Well, I'm a 22 year old chinese male about to graduate from DePaul University with a major in finance. I currently live by myself in Chinatown and I think it's finally started to get to me, the fact that I don't always want to be alone even though I am the loner type.
I have a bad history with my family, but no matter what I try to keep it close with them. Even if I am sometimes singled out because I just don't seem to fit in with any of them.
In the sex area, I want a woman who does have an appetite and at the same time is willing to show me around the ropes. This might seem like a "wow" thing to you, but I am one of the few 22 year old male virgins out there. I don't mind that people know that, in fact the main reason why I am a virgin is because I haven't been able to find anyone important enough to me in my life to be with in that way. If I had to put my experience on a scale of 1-10, it'd probably be a 0. In reality, I just need the woman to have an active libido and at the same time have patience with me.
I do get jealous quite easily, but that's only because of my insecurities. The main reason why I want a woman who will make me feel like I am the only one for her. I want the woman to be able to communicate with me and not just tell me to "go away" if she's mad, but instead to actually talk it out. Don't fume by yourself, let me be there for you.
I guess there's really not much else to say. I've said quite a bit I suppose, well I guess if you have anymore questions, just email me with the address shown above. Reply back with anything you want and I'll reply back and we'll just go from there
What I'm looking for a is a woman who will, this might sound odd, treat me right. I want a woman who wants to be with me, not someone who leaves me to my own devices, I want the woman to be able to make me feel special, make me feel that I'm their everything. This might sound odd to a few females out there, but I want a woman who will be clingy and doesn't mind being clung onto either. In the end, even though I don't have any experience with women, I know this is what I want in a relationship because of the things that have happened in my life.
About me...
Well, I'm a 22 year old chinese male about to graduate from DePaul University with a major in finance. I currently live by myself in Chinatown and I think it's finally started to get to me, the fact that I don't always want to be alone even though I am the loner type.
I have a bad history with my family, but no matter what I try to keep it close with them. Even if I am sometimes singled out because I just don't seem to fit in with any of them.
In the sex area, I want a woman who does have an appetite and at the same time is willing to show me around the ropes. This might seem like a "wow" thing to you, but I am one of the few 22 year old male virgins out there. I don't mind that people know that, in fact the main reason why I am a virgin is because I haven't been able to find anyone important enough to me in my life to be with in that way. If I had to put my experience on a scale of 1-10, it'd probably be a 0. In reality, I just need the woman to have an active libido and at the same time have patience with me.
I do get jealous quite easily, but that's only because of my insecurities. The main reason why I want a woman who will make me feel like I am the only one for her. I want the woman to be able to communicate with me and not just tell me to "go away" if she's mad, but instead to actually talk it out. Don't fume by yourself, let me be there for you.
I guess there's really not much else to say. I've said quite a bit I suppose, well I guess if you have anymore questions, just email me with the address shown above. Reply back with anything you want and I'll reply back and we'll just go from there
17 October 2008
Sponge Bob Square Pants has all the traits of the perfect woman - 36 (Cascade Errr.. Bikini Bottom)
I wrote this a few weeks ago, and I wasn’t sure what to do with it, or perhaps what to make of myself. This looks like the place. Here you go Craigslisters, I present my arguments, in bullet form, why Spongebob Square pants is the perfect girl.
1. He’s low maintenance. No matter what happens to him, he never needs validation from anyone, for anything. He never asks Patrick to tell him who he is, never uses his friction with Squidward to bolster his own ego. All his energy is focused outward, albeit usually with mixed (and hilarious) results. He never complains about those results either, just trudges ahead with blind, infectious optimism.
2. He’s a good cook. In fact, he makes unquestionably the best burger in Bikini Bottom. People come from everywhere to the Crab Shack for one of his Crabby Patties. How rare is a girl who can cook, and enjoys it?
3. He lives in a pineapple. Imagine having crazy sex in a giant pineapple. All that gooey, sweet, sugary awesomeness providing both full body lubrication and a certain fun kinkiness. Sex inside almost anything else wouldn’t be anywhere as much fun. An orange would sting. A tomato would stain. While we’re on the subject, do you want variety in your lovin? He’s got HUNDREDS of holes, and he’s not shy about himself or hung up in any way. He also plays dress up. Weekly. And usually twice on Saturday mornings.
4. He’s comfortable with his job. Mr. Crab pays him shit and he cares, never bitches. Never comes home and says to his pet snail “if that dude Squidward don’t get off my ass, I’m gonna kill him!” The pineapple is a harmonious place because Spongebob checks that shit at the door.
5. He manages his emotions. We’ve all seen Spongebob flip out. We’ve all seen chicks flip out. The difference is that Spongebob Squarepants STAYS FOCUSED. He may explode. His eyes may shrivel up like raisins. He might pull off his own legs and arms and beat himself with them in total panic and frustration. He never loses sight of what he’s flipping out ABOUT, though. Every girl I’ve ever met starts out being mad about the dish I just broke, or the amount of beer I may have drunk at her family reunion (we all need help through the hard times, my Lord, my Lord) but 15 minutes later it’s why haven’t we bought a house yet, why aren’t I home more, why aren’t I home less, why aren’t I more communicative, and what about those boobs I was staring at back in May of 2002. Do ya feel me, boys?
6. He’s devoted. Patrick is an idiot, but he finds a way to relate and have fun. Mr. Crabs is a jerk, but he gets past it and has a healthy work ethic. He’s maintained a healthy platonic relationship with a displaced female squirrel. Even Squidward, despite all his efforts to the contrary, has a neighbor he can count on any time day or night. (Aside: Squidward is a douche bag for not recognizing this)
7. He knows how to have a good time. Boy does he ever. He likes eating contests, farts, TV, singing, hiking, playing with his body, sports (did you see the snail race? better than Hoosiers), and just generally acting stupid and laughing about it. I’m telling you, he’s got to be totally awesome to hang out with.
8. He’s comfortable with his body. So he’s not the ideal shape. He’s a square. But he never complains. You’ll never hear the phrase “height-weight proportional” uttered from those yellow lips (anyway his height-weight proportion is geometrically perfect, a fact which I am sure can be proven mathematically). He don’t give a shit. He just buys the right clothes (square) and looks great and that’s the end of it. No endless questioning about why the universe shaped him the way he is. No internal battles. Just a simple square man with a healthy simple outlook.
9. He’s a virgin (I’d bet). You say experience means everything? I say bullshit. Comfort and communication trump experience every time. Working at your sex life is only possible in a situation dominated by these two traits and amplified by a sense of adventure. Spongebob has always demonstrated these characteristics. Now, what do you want? A willing accomplice or the trick somebody else taught?
10. He doesn’t drink, smoke or do drugs. Actually, I do enjoy the occasional cocktail or three and back in the day, as you may have guessed, I have been known to puff it down a little and watch shows like, say, Spongebob Squarepants (WTF, what did you do this morning that was so important, Ms. Smartypants?), but the thing about our man Bob is that theses things don’t rule his life, and couldn’t you just imagine that first date at a bar? Somehow the idea of kicking two shots of Makers Mark back with Spongebob Squarepants is totally mesmerizing. You think he’d sit there and bitch about his exes? No way. He’s much more a load up the jukebox and kick up his heels on the bar kind of guy. He’ll take his lumps for it (case in point, the Motorhead bar in the movie, where the fascist biker dudes kick his ass but he comes out grinning) but I bet the night would be hilarious. Imagine him pulling in a big drag and blowing it out all his orifices. Imagine him talking to that drunken barfly you always see and making that old bitch laugh. You’d get to do all this shit with him for the first time.
11. He demonstrates good parenting skills. Did you see the episode where Spongebob and Patrick find a lost baby scallop and decide to raise it as their own? No?!? Well, allow me to elucidate. Patrick takes on the male role and he sucks at it. He sneaks off all day and night to watch TV at home while Spongebob, as the mother figure (complete with apron and heels), holds the family together. He does all the cooking, cleaning and baby-raising, all the while carrying an admittedly strained smile on his face. Not to say I’m looking for a wife to do it all and let me watch TV, it’s just that he demonstrates such strength and good humor. The episode ends with a happy, well-adjusted scallop flying off (?) into the sea-sky and a presumably happy well-adjusted scallop life. It’s not that Spongebob might make a good mom. Spongebob is a good mom.
There, I put it out there AND..... I Feel better, (I'll probably only get responses from huge bull dykes with nothing better to do?) I’m sure I’ve sabotaged my e-mail account, but I wanted to do it. I’m in love, and people in love do and say stupid shit. Here's to the hope that someone literate and twisted (like me) will find the humor, irony and insite into what I've just written and respond in kind.
CHEERS
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