Usually at this juncture I would hit the singles bars, cruise ships and night clubs, spending a small fortune on travel, drinks and dinners looking for the next Ms. Right, just to end up with another disordered (yet attractive) woman who would eventually make me miserable.
So this time I thought I would narrow the search and try here. Why waste time. I am looking for that "special" Lady to turn my world upside down.
Although I have found that women with Cluster C personality traits (anxious, fearful and dependent) can cause a lot of emotional damage, they are not near as much fun to be with, or cause as much pain, and anguish, as those who suffer from the dramatic, erratic disorders. Lets face it! Emotional dysregulation without impulsive, deceitful, confusing and hurtful behavior is boring.
I seem to be attracted to the Cluster B personality disordered (Narcissist, Borderline, Histrionic, Antisocial). Those very attractive, manipulative, selfish and seductive women, who can seem so normal (at first) on the surface, with very nice fake boobs, and with fake, shallow, personalities to match.
You can get extra points if your level of self centered narcissism puts you in the category of the Sociopath / Psychopath (Antisocial). If you can lie, cheat, manipulate, and exploit others in a relationship with impunity to get what ever it is you want, lack empathy and a mature conscience, and feel no guilt or remorse for all of the emotional pain and suffering you cause; You may be the one for me.
My perfect "soul mate" will be older, between the ages of 30 and 50 because self centered, impulsive and inconsistent behavior in teens and very young adults can be normal. (You may actually grow up, and then where would we be?)
You should have a history of many, many short-term marriages, affairs and relationships that ended horribly and involved infidelity, exploitation and deceit (on your part). If your ex-husbands, ex-boyfriends and others wont speak to you, yet you always seem to have a few Fuck Buddies hanging around just in case, that would be a plus!!
You should already have a nice set of fake boobs. If you are not attractive enough or devious enough to have gotten some other sap to buy them for you by now, nor narcissistic enough to have bought them your self by now, you probably are not disordered enough for me.
I have already bought all the boobs I am going to buy. However; cars, trips, houses and jewelry are still on the table.
You should have mind boggling mood swings, narcissistic rages, and be prone to having impulsive sexual affairs with strangers, the handyman, coworkers etc: because it makes you "feel good" or better yet; to get something you "need".
Other traits that will endear me to you include, but are not limited to:
)You actually have a diagnosis of a Cluster B personality disorder(This is rare. Not the disorder, just the diagnosis is rare).
)You have been told you suffer from: Bi-Polar Disorder or Depression (You may, but those are the least of your problems).
)You have attempted, or threatened suicide at some point.
)You walked out of therapy in anger.
)You have never been to therapy, but former partners often seek therapy to deal with the emotional damage you do to them.
)You will not take any meds prescribed by your psychiatrist.
)You view sex as a weapon to be used for reward and/or punishment.
)You think you are normal, and everyone else is just like you, but better at hiding it.
Ladies, if you think you have what it takes, please respond. After all; It's all about YOU anyway! It won’t last long; We may as well have some fun!!
Your Pic gets mine.
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