19 February 2010

Tongue massage in exchange for roses.

Would you like to be massaged all over with my tongue and hands? Please send a pic and some information.


I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that you are offering roses, not asking for them. Unfortunately, I think your ad implies that you fall in the latter category. See, you've said that one will be exchanged for the other, and that you are willing to provide the first, so...I'm pretty sure you're just looking for roses. I'm not necessarily judging that, I just think you don't realize that you're an idiot.

Are You a SEXY RETARD or Have Developmental Issues?? - 34 (Suburbs)

Hi,

I am not retarded nor dumb and stupid like a retard; I actually graduated from college with honors and distinction. I have never dated anyone mentally challenged but woke up today and thought to myself, as long as she looks good, who cares what her cognitive thinking abilities are? Women should be seen not heard, right? If you have a thin slender body, firm breasts, and a tight ass I don't care what your IQ is. As a matter of fact the dumber you are the more turned on I will be.

I am after a woman that looks good and will let me have my way with her, someone that will not question me if I come home at 3:30 in the morning with lipstick on my collar. If you have a little palsy in you, you get bonus points. I suppose my only hang up is you can't be a drooler; I have to draw the line somewhere. If you are intrigued, write I AM YOUR RETARD in the subject line and send me your pic. If I think you have the "goods" I will respond with my pic.



Hi,

FYI: you aren't even close to funny enough to be as offensive as Sarah Silverman and get away with it. You are a pretty shitty human being. Thanks for letting us all know on the internet. Apparently, you are 34 years old, which I'm pretty sure means you should grow the fuck up.

PS: Meet your boyfriend.

Wow guys. I think Husband? just came full circle jerk.

Short guy seeking short girl. There I said it. - 32 (Bucktown)

Outside of height, which isn't all the important, I'm an educated, indepent, small business owner who likes to heads to the gym regulary, reads, goes to movies, and loves to eat and drink well. I'd love to find a very cool, smart, and most importantly fun person to spend my time with.

Maybe I'm foolish for posting this on craigs list but I don't have much to lose. I am on the shorter side for a guy at 5'8" and find that I am attracted to and attracting women around my height or shorter. It's more a disclaimer about myself than anything else. For some people it's just an issue.

Hope to hear from you.



Dude, just buy a pair of boots with a slight heel and stfu. You're not even that short. Get over it. Insecurity is unattractive, and frankly, you're annoying me.