Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow. - 26 (grand rapids)

Dear female gender,

One of you is going to fall in love with me.
I'll make it easy by being nice to you!! And by reciprocating that love.
We will even hold hands and talk to each other about silly stuff like how our day went.
One day you will wake up in the morning and look at me all cute sleeping away and you're going to fantasize about having my babies. If we are lucky there will be a few such strategic accidents.

Sincerely,

Captain Amazing



Dear Captain Amazing,

I truly doubt that I would fall in love with you based upon this ad alone. For some reason, you are confusing general human decency with seduction. I am positive that I would not fantasize about having little Officer Amazings with you. If something as awful as insemination occurred, I would have a different type of "strategic accident."

Regards,

Admiral Uninterested