16 April 2009

Sort of creepy anti-social type seeks happy-go-lucky girl next door!!! - 33

That is to say I love people, I just don't like to be around them all that much. I also love music... listening to and playing all types. It's possible that my creepiness would subside after you got to know me. I thoroughly enjoy sarcasm, the dark, slight cynicism, stupid blogs, hiking, salsa (the food not the dance), and masks. I'm not tall ~ 5' 9" and not in the greatest shape, but not horribly out of shape or unattractive. If you're at all interested, you know what to do... hopefully. Anyway, pic for pic and all that BS. Have a nice day!

This gem comes from a computer in Madison, Wisconsin. Unrelated - Is 5'9" is the beginnings of tall? I judge everyone by ANTM model contestant height, and if contestants can be 5'8" and up, then 5'9" is tall enough to be a female model, which means that 5'9" is actually sort of tall, right?

Elliott Gore - 19 (Jonesboro Arkansas)

Hello, My name is Elliott gore. I am a dark-shinned gentleman ready for true love. I love to hangout with friends, play my trumpet and go to church. If you are ready for love holla at me

Just the shins, eh? It's like the reverse of a bad tan line from soccer shinguards.

13 April 2009

After I CUM I am not DONE! - 34 (Downtown Fresno)

I am a romantic young gentleman and poetry is to me a skill
By just seeing you in person I can make wet with thrill
I do not need a pen or paper to express to you what I see
Just the words from my mouth will make you want to feel the sight of me
I also never stop from evening until later past the morning dawn
I will Cum a few times but I will not say thank you and be gone
I will Give you oral sex with my rather think tongue
and then I will be hard again and inside you again I'll be sprung
I love the position of you riding me and you'll be surprised at what I can do
while your riding my think penis I can lift my pelvis inside of you
I will feel like a pole you are riding and for hours you can ride
and I know this is NSA but if you want more of me I can be open to be TIED

I do not have a credit card or a checking account so I can not join a site that needs that for age check, But I will give you any information so you can see I am a very legal decent guy that is 34 I work downtown Fresno and live in downtown also. I hope I will hear from a woman because I am so bored and sad now.

I spent 20 minutes trying to write a response poem to the poster telling him where he went wrong, but every time I tried I ended up with this:

STOP.

It's been said before but: bad poetry? Oh noetry! People, stop before your god-awful "poetry" hurts someone you would like to love in the future, NSA, TIED, or otherwise.

Fairly unrelated: how does a 34-year-old man live, work, and survive without any type of bank account? I'm not sure whether or not that's a feat, and thus something I should be impressed with by default.

06 April 2009

Once in a lifetime Opportunity - 19 (Gainesville)

Hey whats up....im here looking for a nice young lady to be friends with, and if everything is great, then a girlfriend.....im 19, black, 170lbs athletic, 6'0,black hair, brown eyes and light brown skin.....i dont smoke or drink, and expect for you not to either (but if you drink then thats ok, but just dont be an alcoholic.....lol)...im not really a partier either but i still know how to have a good time......i know how to really treat a lady.....im not looking for sex either......as for you (i would prefer, but not limited to)....age-18-23, height-5'5-5'10, weight-130lbs-165lbs athletic or somewhat in shape, eyes- any color, race/color- i will be friends with anybody, but as for girlfriend/ wife status, i would prefer light skined-white......but still respond and see where it goes......e-mail me if you are interested, and if you are real please let me know because 95% of the responses are fake people/bots......so dont miss out on a great friendship/relationship


OMFG. If you're going to be a racist asshole in your post, at least spell 'skinned' right.

real, lonely, special, and ready to melt... - 42 (gville area)

yeah, I'm a former grad student at UF, and have found my way back to north florida.
I'm very alone, nice guy, and have a secluded cabin, and don't and wouldn't want any issues.
If you are mature and kind, and rare...can't hurt to send an email. I'm not after anything specific, which is a good thing.

Dear Poster,
"I'm very alone" makes you sound sad. Lonely is fine, desperate is not. Please bear this in mind for future postings. Also, "I'm not after anything specific" really just intensifies the sad, desperate longing. I take issue with saying that you have absolutely no idea what you want is a good thing. Yes, you're open-minded and you have low expectations, but a better way to say that might be "I'm open-minded about where meeting and being friends leads," or "I'm interested in meeting lots of different kinds of people."

Additional note: saying that you're very alone, you have a secluded cabin, and you don't want any issues (whatever that means - be more specific) makes you sound like you're a serial killer. Are you going to kill the people who reply to your post and adorn your secluded little cabin with their guts? GOD. STOP BEING SO CREEPY.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen